Different shoes
Increasingly I am aware of the strong need of all of us to be able to metaphorically put ourselves in the shoes of those who are so supportive of individuals such as Mr. Trump, the new President of the Philippines, and others. For now I want to attempt to access that part of me which can identify with those who are so convinced that Mr. Trump is needed as a leader in these times.
It would be easy if I could convince myself that all those who support him are uneducated, angry, bigoted, white people - mostly male. I have talked to quite a number of supporters of Mr. Trump over the months that the presidential campaign has been going on in the United States. Many of those with whom I have talked are:
• College educated with a minimum of a Bachelor’s degree and often with professional or advanced degrees.
• Representative of both genders.
• Representative of all sexual orientations although they seem predominantly heterosexual.
• Representative of various religions or have no religious affiliation.
• Representative of various points on the empathic line
• Representative of many races although they seem predominantly Caucasian.
• Pro-Trump and anti-Clinton
• Anti-establishment - mainly political establishment.
• Seemingly okay with how Mr. Trump amassed his fortune or alleged fortune.
My concerns with Mr. Trump include his seemingly:
• Insensitivity to those who disagree with him.
• Willingness to embrace violence.
• Lack of concern for who gets hurt or is negatively affected by his business practices.
• Bully attitude toward other nations.
• Defense of what he thinks of as second amendment rights or his perception of that group which are concerned about those perceived rights.
• Lack of core values.
• Willingness to lie if it is politically expedient.
• Focus on me rather than we.
• Lack of ability to think before he speaks or acts.
To be fair many of the concerns I have about Mr. Trump I also have about Mrs. Clinton. These include her seemingly:
• Willingness to lie.
• Overall hawkish beliefs.
• Questionable business dealing and practice over the years. (I am less clear about these than I am about those of Mr. Trump.)
• Arrogant attitude toward other nations although more diplomatically in how she approaches most of the time. (Is she a bully or assertive?)
• Lack of core values.
Both candidates seem to have qualities which trouble me, although I am less concerned about impulsive behavior by Mrs. Clinton than I am that by Mr. Trump. I also tend to think that Mrs. Clinton may have some core values but may be willing to compromise them if that is what it takes to get elected.
Certainly I can understand those who believe that neither candidate is ideal. I am not convinced that an ideal person could campaign and win a political election. Still, having said that, how can I explain what seems to be the fact that there are quite a number of people who sincerely and after much educated thought are convinced that Mr. Trump and those who support him represent the best possible future for the United States. What do they have in common. They seem to be:
• Angry.
• Fearful.
• Me focused rather than we focused.
• Convinced that “all is fair in love and war.”
• Convinced that it is going to take extreme, potentially very violent behavior if the United States is to retain it superpower status. This, of course, assumes that the United States needs to be a superpower to protect its interest and that its interests are more important than that of others.
• An emphasis on a global economy which will have a negative effect on the economy of the United States.
If I look at these one by one perhaps I can more fully empathize.
Angry
I certainly understand angry which for me is almost always related to fear.
Fear
I appreciate the (1) fear of not being able to take care of myself and having to depend on others, (2) the fear that I am not good enough or strong enough or smart enough - all these have to do with being able to take care of myself and those I love - and (3) the fear that I am not respected and, thus, not physically and/or emotionally safe.
Me focused rather than ‘we’ focused.
When I do not feel emotionally or physically safe then it is easy for me to get very me focused. This is consistent with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Convinced that all is fair in love and war
This one is more difficult for me. Although I can identify with strong emotions and a strong desire to live/survive and even thrive, my belief is that all I really own is my core values. For me winning is being able to hold on to core values.
Convinced that it will take extreme, potentially very violent behavior if the United States is to retain it superpower status.
I am not convinced that the United States needs to maintain its superpower status. On the other hand, I am not convinced that there is a way to convince everyone to allow the United Nations or some new such organization to create a more just peaceful world.
An emphasis on a global economy will have a negative effect on the economy of the United States.
I am not convinced that it is fair or just for some of us to have and to use more of the world’s resources than is available to others I suspect when our spiritual and emotional self-esteem is not high we feel we want/need more material things to feel decent. I am getting ready to move and am acutely aware of how much “stuff” I feel a need to retain despite having gotten rid of a lot. I really like my creature comforts
and do not want to return to a life without many of the luxuries I have. At the same time I know that they are luxuries and that I can have a good life without them. It is true that if I could have luxuries and know everyone in the world was well take care of I would be fine.
I would like to think that there is more distance or more difference between myself and those who support Mr. Trump and others who are similar to him. The truth is that I can empathize with many of their thoughts and feelings, It is also true that whether I live or die has not seemed that important to me for a long time. That is, I am sure, partly due to age - but only partly. If someone was about to shoot me I am sure I would feel afraid both of dying or being injured to the point of being disabled. I would like to think, however, that at another level I would be fine with whatever happened.
It seems as if the muse keeps bringing me back to the fact that we all need a strong, positive sense of self. Some of us may connect that to being able to protect ourselves or to a nation which can protect itself. We may also connect it to the power for money/possessions. If we are very lucky we may connect it to core values. As it write, I am aware that some would list patriotism as a core value. That is not the case for me. I know that I am grateful to have the luxury of being a United States citizen despite its many shortcomings. Still, I think of myself more as a patriot of the earth than I do of a country.
This little exercise has again reminded me that I am not as different from the Trump supporter as I sometimes convince myself. I am convinced that if we are ever to have a workable ‘we’ we must focus on our basic similarities no matter what costume we wear or life dance we do. Personally I need to continue this exercise and try to put myself in the shoes of my neighbor otherwise there is no hope for any of us.
Written August 14, 2016
Increasingly I am aware of the strong need of all of us to be able to metaphorically put ourselves in the shoes of those who are so supportive of individuals such as Mr. Trump, the new President of the Philippines, and others. For now I want to attempt to access that part of me which can identify with those who are so convinced that Mr. Trump is needed as a leader in these times.
It would be easy if I could convince myself that all those who support him are uneducated, angry, bigoted, white people - mostly male. I have talked to quite a number of supporters of Mr. Trump over the months that the presidential campaign has been going on in the United States. Many of those with whom I have talked are:
• College educated with a minimum of a Bachelor’s degree and often with professional or advanced degrees.
• Representative of both genders.
• Representative of all sexual orientations although they seem predominantly heterosexual.
• Representative of various religions or have no religious affiliation.
• Representative of various points on the empathic line
• Representative of many races although they seem predominantly Caucasian.
• Pro-Trump and anti-Clinton
• Anti-establishment - mainly political establishment.
• Seemingly okay with how Mr. Trump amassed his fortune or alleged fortune.
My concerns with Mr. Trump include his seemingly:
• Insensitivity to those who disagree with him.
• Willingness to embrace violence.
• Lack of concern for who gets hurt or is negatively affected by his business practices.
• Bully attitude toward other nations.
• Defense of what he thinks of as second amendment rights or his perception of that group which are concerned about those perceived rights.
• Lack of core values.
• Willingness to lie if it is politically expedient.
• Focus on me rather than we.
• Lack of ability to think before he speaks or acts.
To be fair many of the concerns I have about Mr. Trump I also have about Mrs. Clinton. These include her seemingly:
• Willingness to lie.
• Overall hawkish beliefs.
• Questionable business dealing and practice over the years. (I am less clear about these than I am about those of Mr. Trump.)
• Arrogant attitude toward other nations although more diplomatically in how she approaches most of the time. (Is she a bully or assertive?)
• Lack of core values.
Both candidates seem to have qualities which trouble me, although I am less concerned about impulsive behavior by Mrs. Clinton than I am that by Mr. Trump. I also tend to think that Mrs. Clinton may have some core values but may be willing to compromise them if that is what it takes to get elected.
Certainly I can understand those who believe that neither candidate is ideal. I am not convinced that an ideal person could campaign and win a political election. Still, having said that, how can I explain what seems to be the fact that there are quite a number of people who sincerely and after much educated thought are convinced that Mr. Trump and those who support him represent the best possible future for the United States. What do they have in common. They seem to be:
• Angry.
• Fearful.
• Me focused rather than we focused.
• Convinced that “all is fair in love and war.”
• Convinced that it is going to take extreme, potentially very violent behavior if the United States is to retain it superpower status. This, of course, assumes that the United States needs to be a superpower to protect its interest and that its interests are more important than that of others.
• An emphasis on a global economy which will have a negative effect on the economy of the United States.
If I look at these one by one perhaps I can more fully empathize.
Angry
I certainly understand angry which for me is almost always related to fear.
Fear
I appreciate the (1) fear of not being able to take care of myself and having to depend on others, (2) the fear that I am not good enough or strong enough or smart enough - all these have to do with being able to take care of myself and those I love - and (3) the fear that I am not respected and, thus, not physically and/or emotionally safe.
Me focused rather than ‘we’ focused.
When I do not feel emotionally or physically safe then it is easy for me to get very me focused. This is consistent with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Convinced that all is fair in love and war
This one is more difficult for me. Although I can identify with strong emotions and a strong desire to live/survive and even thrive, my belief is that all I really own is my core values. For me winning is being able to hold on to core values.
Convinced that it will take extreme, potentially very violent behavior if the United States is to retain it superpower status.
I am not convinced that the United States needs to maintain its superpower status. On the other hand, I am not convinced that there is a way to convince everyone to allow the United Nations or some new such organization to create a more just peaceful world.
An emphasis on a global economy will have a negative effect on the economy of the United States.
I am not convinced that it is fair or just for some of us to have and to use more of the world’s resources than is available to others I suspect when our spiritual and emotional self-esteem is not high we feel we want/need more material things to feel decent. I am getting ready to move and am acutely aware of how much “stuff” I feel a need to retain despite having gotten rid of a lot. I really like my creature comforts
and do not want to return to a life without many of the luxuries I have. At the same time I know that they are luxuries and that I can have a good life without them. It is true that if I could have luxuries and know everyone in the world was well take care of I would be fine.
I would like to think that there is more distance or more difference between myself and those who support Mr. Trump and others who are similar to him. The truth is that I can empathize with many of their thoughts and feelings, It is also true that whether I live or die has not seemed that important to me for a long time. That is, I am sure, partly due to age - but only partly. If someone was about to shoot me I am sure I would feel afraid both of dying or being injured to the point of being disabled. I would like to think, however, that at another level I would be fine with whatever happened.
It seems as if the muse keeps bringing me back to the fact that we all need a strong, positive sense of self. Some of us may connect that to being able to protect ourselves or to a nation which can protect itself. We may also connect it to the power for money/possessions. If we are very lucky we may connect it to core values. As it write, I am aware that some would list patriotism as a core value. That is not the case for me. I know that I am grateful to have the luxury of being a United States citizen despite its many shortcomings. Still, I think of myself more as a patriot of the earth than I do of a country.
This little exercise has again reminded me that I am not as different from the Trump supporter as I sometimes convince myself. I am convinced that if we are ever to have a workable ‘we’ we must focus on our basic similarities no matter what costume we wear or life dance we do. Personally I need to continue this exercise and try to put myself in the shoes of my neighbor otherwise there is no hope for any of us.
Written August 14, 2016
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