“Do you have to flaunt it?”
I recall, as a very young man in 1959, an officer in the U. S. Navy saying to me, “I agree with the goals of the civil rights movement but I do not agree with their very public tactics.” I was not brave enough to say to her, “Really! Exactly what tactics have worked in the past? This is a non-violent, assertive stance. It is time that we end racism.” I was, at that time, too fearful and too shy to argue with someone who was my boss. Later as the gay (LGBT) movement became more public I heard similar comments. Some would say, “I am against discrimination, but it is not necessary to flaunt one life choices.” By that time I was a bit more assertive and I might say, “Really! It seems to me that heterosexual hold hands, kiss, talk about their partners and show affection in public all the time. Are they flaunting their heterosexual life choices?” By this time many gay and lesbian men and women were announcing, “We are here and we are queer. We are not going way.”
Fast-forward to the year 2017 and I continue to hear similar comments about such groups as black lives matter. It is as if every time someone refuses to hide their legitimate concerns many people suggest that they go back into the closet and patiently wait another few hundred years for the community at large to grant them the rights that are guaranteed by the United States Constitution and simply human decency.
There are many closets containing many family and community secrets. Those closets contain the mentally ill, GLBT individuals, those who are violent, addicted, victims of domestic violence, victims of sexual assaults as well as many others who stories and behavior are destructive of the myths the so-called mainstream society need to feel comfortable.
Last evening in Wheeling, West Virginia, the non-profit organization “This is my Brave” and the local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill presented a cast of 16 eloquent, courageous, strong people who are not only living with mental issues (including addiction) but thriving. All the cast members have my respect and admiration, but I was especially impressed with two very bright, articulate 18 year olds who are committed to not allowing their mental illness to define them and to helping others move beyond the labels, which tell only a part of their story. The stories (poems, essays, music) were about the cast member’s relationship with their illness; how they are both honoring their illness and not allowing it to write their story.
Nothing changes as long as there are closets. We are a very diverse community. If only a part of that community is visible, discrimination, limited or no services, blaming the suffering person, and pretending as if there is an “us and them” can continue.
If coming out of the closet - refusing to be shameful and hiding – is considered flaunting it, so be it. We who are the range of colors, races, cultures, religions, sexual orientations, genders, ages, addictions (food, drugs, sex, power, money, etc.) and abilities – are here. We are proud – not better than, but proud – members of the community. Get used to seeing US. We are not going away or back into our respective closets.
Written November 15, 2017
I recall, as a very young man in 1959, an officer in the U. S. Navy saying to me, “I agree with the goals of the civil rights movement but I do not agree with their very public tactics.” I was not brave enough to say to her, “Really! Exactly what tactics have worked in the past? This is a non-violent, assertive stance. It is time that we end racism.” I was, at that time, too fearful and too shy to argue with someone who was my boss. Later as the gay (LGBT) movement became more public I heard similar comments. Some would say, “I am against discrimination, but it is not necessary to flaunt one life choices.” By that time I was a bit more assertive and I might say, “Really! It seems to me that heterosexual hold hands, kiss, talk about their partners and show affection in public all the time. Are they flaunting their heterosexual life choices?” By this time many gay and lesbian men and women were announcing, “We are here and we are queer. We are not going way.”
Fast-forward to the year 2017 and I continue to hear similar comments about such groups as black lives matter. It is as if every time someone refuses to hide their legitimate concerns many people suggest that they go back into the closet and patiently wait another few hundred years for the community at large to grant them the rights that are guaranteed by the United States Constitution and simply human decency.
There are many closets containing many family and community secrets. Those closets contain the mentally ill, GLBT individuals, those who are violent, addicted, victims of domestic violence, victims of sexual assaults as well as many others who stories and behavior are destructive of the myths the so-called mainstream society need to feel comfortable.
Last evening in Wheeling, West Virginia, the non-profit organization “This is my Brave” and the local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill presented a cast of 16 eloquent, courageous, strong people who are not only living with mental issues (including addiction) but thriving. All the cast members have my respect and admiration, but I was especially impressed with two very bright, articulate 18 year olds who are committed to not allowing their mental illness to define them and to helping others move beyond the labels, which tell only a part of their story. The stories (poems, essays, music) were about the cast member’s relationship with their illness; how they are both honoring their illness and not allowing it to write their story.
Nothing changes as long as there are closets. We are a very diverse community. If only a part of that community is visible, discrimination, limited or no services, blaming the suffering person, and pretending as if there is an “us and them” can continue.
If coming out of the closet - refusing to be shameful and hiding – is considered flaunting it, so be it. We who are the range of colors, races, cultures, religions, sexual orientations, genders, ages, addictions (food, drugs, sex, power, money, etc.) and abilities – are here. We are proud – not better than, but proud – members of the community. Get used to seeing US. We are not going away or back into our respective closets.
Written November 15, 2017
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