Doing the next right thing
Many of us have learned to listen to the messages of others or that part of us which feels as if we are too tired, to dumb, or too fearful to do the next right thing. Some of us never learned to do the next right thing. We have grown up in a family where it was every person for themselves. There was no agreed upon concept of family or team. Consequently we never learned how to be a heathy partner or family person.
Some of us may have learned to do the next right thing, but only out of a sense of obligation or duty and almost always accompanied by full orchestra which is constantly tuning up but never quite tuned.
Some seem to just naturally do the next right thing; to do the action which is consistent with one’s stated spiritual goals. Most of us, however, need, at times, to do a reality check with our healthy support system to make sure we are not reacting rather than acting.
At times, what is the next right thing is very easy. Making time to listen – really listen – to our partner, child, good friend, coworker or the stranger is more important than most tasks. If, however, a task involves listening to or being present for/with another person it might be difficult to decide which relationship to honor. Either decision is the next right thing to do, Recently I was with a group of friends who had gathered to honor a family member and friend who had died. Another close family member died the same weekend. The son and the wife of the deceased man showed up to support those who were there to celebrate the life of the family member who had died earlier. They had done all the could for the moment for the man who died and wanted to show their support. Obviously, they could have easily been excused if they had decided not to show up. Yet, this family makes relationships – taking care of each other – a core priority. For them that is always the next right thing to do.
Doing the next right thing is based on one’s core values. No matter what our background, it is up to all of us to have a constant dialogue with the wise voice within us that, if we listen, knows what is important. We may or may not have learned to pay attention to that voice and, thus, it may be very weak, but it is there unless an illness which affects the ability to think rationally silences it.
Core values do not dictate we need to agree with each other on how to live out one’s core values. Some may believe that sometimes killing is necessary. Some may believe that there is room for disagreement about the moment when a viable human life begins to exist. Some may believe that a particular economic policy is best for the greatest number of people. What then are core values? Most of us might agree on the following:
I am sure many could add to this list. It is coincidental that there are ten items in the list.
I do not believe that I “know” anything. I know what seems true and right for me today and I know I must be open to new information and opinions. Doing the next right thing today may or may not be the next right thing tomorrow. I must be circumspect in stating my core values because I am constantly being challenged with new information and new perspectives. I believe this is what healthy humans do.
Written October 15, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Many of us have learned to listen to the messages of others or that part of us which feels as if we are too tired, to dumb, or too fearful to do the next right thing. Some of us never learned to do the next right thing. We have grown up in a family where it was every person for themselves. There was no agreed upon concept of family or team. Consequently we never learned how to be a heathy partner or family person.
Some of us may have learned to do the next right thing, but only out of a sense of obligation or duty and almost always accompanied by full orchestra which is constantly tuning up but never quite tuned.
Some seem to just naturally do the next right thing; to do the action which is consistent with one’s stated spiritual goals. Most of us, however, need, at times, to do a reality check with our healthy support system to make sure we are not reacting rather than acting.
At times, what is the next right thing is very easy. Making time to listen – really listen – to our partner, child, good friend, coworker or the stranger is more important than most tasks. If, however, a task involves listening to or being present for/with another person it might be difficult to decide which relationship to honor. Either decision is the next right thing to do, Recently I was with a group of friends who had gathered to honor a family member and friend who had died. Another close family member died the same weekend. The son and the wife of the deceased man showed up to support those who were there to celebrate the life of the family member who had died earlier. They had done all the could for the moment for the man who died and wanted to show their support. Obviously, they could have easily been excused if they had decided not to show up. Yet, this family makes relationships – taking care of each other – a core priority. For them that is always the next right thing to do.
Doing the next right thing is based on one’s core values. No matter what our background, it is up to all of us to have a constant dialogue with the wise voice within us that, if we listen, knows what is important. We may or may not have learned to pay attention to that voice and, thus, it may be very weak, but it is there unless an illness which affects the ability to think rationally silences it.
Core values do not dictate we need to agree with each other on how to live out one’s core values. Some may believe that sometimes killing is necessary. Some may believe that there is room for disagreement about the moment when a viable human life begins to exist. Some may believe that a particular economic policy is best for the greatest number of people. What then are core values? Most of us might agree on the following:
- None of us is in a position to judge another.
- It is important that we respectfully listen to each other.
- Relationships always are more important than tasks but some tasks involve protecting people and relationships.
- We are at our best when we share decision making with those who respectfully challenge each other.
- Our relationship with mother earth is sacred.
- If our gas tanks – emotional, physical, nutritional, and spiritual – are empty we have nothing to give.
- Science needs to inform spiritual beliefs and spiritual beliefs need to inform science.
- Religious beliefs may change when it is discovered that the voice of the god of our understanding was based on false assumptions or feelings such as fear.
- The goal is to serve the purpose or mission of the institution and not the institution.
- Punishment may stop a behavior temporarily but does not create a positive, long term change in thinking or behavior. There are those who will use punishment as an opportunity to rethink the purpose of their life journey.
I am sure many could add to this list. It is coincidental that there are ten items in the list.
I do not believe that I “know” anything. I know what seems true and right for me today and I know I must be open to new information and opinions. Doing the next right thing today may or may not be the next right thing tomorrow. I must be circumspect in stating my core values because I am constantly being challenged with new information and new perspectives. I believe this is what healthy humans do.
Written October 15, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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