“Edges of love”
Writer and activist, Darnell Moore in a conversation with Krista Tibbett on the August 8, 2019 podcast On Being uses the phrase “Limits of love”.
Mr. Moore and Ms. Tibbett explore many of the questions I began asking at a very early age. Sadly I do not recall many adults thinking my questions were legitimate. One of the questions I constantly pondered was the discrepancy between the mandate which was echoed by many who proudly proclaimed themselves as followers of Jesus to “love one another” and even “love your enemy” or “first pluck the log out from your eye” and the myriad of justifications for limiting love. In my mind (both as a youth and adult) love and respect were necessary correlates of one another. Negative statements based on race, manhood, womanhood, nationality, amount of wealth, political party and a host of other social constructs did not make any sense to my limited mind. Gender was not a social construct. Manhood and lady were. Manhood with a capital M posited as a superior, unemotional, wife beating, killing machine did not make sense to me because it is a social construct. We are now aware that we can also make gender a social construct. When a person is convinced that they have genitalia which does not match the essence of who they know themselves to be then gender can be thrown about as a social construct.
As I grew to adulthood and had the option of an expansive reading list and an expansive “we” I discovered that the questions I had been asking about the limits or boundaries of love had been asked by wise people since humans began to document their existence. These same people asked many questions about who we are as humans as well the nature and purpose of our relationship with each other and the rest of the universe. We are still asking those questions.
Science and scientific tools now allow us to measure the effects of isolation and using such tools as hate, resentments, racism, homophobia, sexism and a host of other social constructs. Separating ourselves from the core of who we are, others and the rest of the atoms and molescules which comprise the universe(s) never has good results. We limit love and, thus, connection because:
There is no cogent reason to limit love and respect. There are reasons to keep distance at times; reasons having to do with limited capacity to hold on to one’s spiritual center when one spends much time with people who have little or nothing left to give. One must monitor one’s expectations of what others are able to give back . Some will not have anything to give back. Mental illness, addiction, and a host of traumas may limit that ability. This does not mean one should limit love. As far as I can tell wise, spiritual people do not limit love. They do recognize their own limitations and do not blame these on others.
August 9, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Writer and activist, Darnell Moore in a conversation with Krista Tibbett on the August 8, 2019 podcast On Being uses the phrase “Limits of love”.
Mr. Moore and Ms. Tibbett explore many of the questions I began asking at a very early age. Sadly I do not recall many adults thinking my questions were legitimate. One of the questions I constantly pondered was the discrepancy between the mandate which was echoed by many who proudly proclaimed themselves as followers of Jesus to “love one another” and even “love your enemy” or “first pluck the log out from your eye” and the myriad of justifications for limiting love. In my mind (both as a youth and adult) love and respect were necessary correlates of one another. Negative statements based on race, manhood, womanhood, nationality, amount of wealth, political party and a host of other social constructs did not make any sense to my limited mind. Gender was not a social construct. Manhood and lady were. Manhood with a capital M posited as a superior, unemotional, wife beating, killing machine did not make sense to me because it is a social construct. We are now aware that we can also make gender a social construct. When a person is convinced that they have genitalia which does not match the essence of who they know themselves to be then gender can be thrown about as a social construct.
As I grew to adulthood and had the option of an expansive reading list and an expansive “we” I discovered that the questions I had been asking about the limits or boundaries of love had been asked by wise people since humans began to document their existence. These same people asked many questions about who we are as humans as well the nature and purpose of our relationship with each other and the rest of the universe. We are still asking those questions.
Science and scientific tools now allow us to measure the effects of isolation and using such tools as hate, resentments, racism, homophobia, sexism and a host of other social constructs. Separating ourselves from the core of who we are, others and the rest of the atoms and molescules which comprise the universe(s) never has good results. We limit love and, thus, connection because:
- We are fearful of some part of ourselves.
- We are fearful that unless we are more than we are less than.
- We externalize our fears and blame others.
- We are fearful because some part of our brain is not working well.
- We are fearful of closely examining the “truths’ which have been fed to us.
There is no cogent reason to limit love and respect. There are reasons to keep distance at times; reasons having to do with limited capacity to hold on to one’s spiritual center when one spends much time with people who have little or nothing left to give. One must monitor one’s expectations of what others are able to give back . Some will not have anything to give back. Mental illness, addiction, and a host of traumas may limit that ability. This does not mean one should limit love. As far as I can tell wise, spiritual people do not limit love. They do recognize their own limitations and do not blame these on others.
August 9, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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