Empathy
I have previously written about the fact that it is impossible to put ourselves in the shoes of another whose experience is different than our own. Recently I wrote about the dismantling of homeless camps by representative of the city of Wheeling, WV. The reasons given includes the fact there is disorderly behavior by some, criminal activity by some and creating and leaving a mess by some. I was reading some comments on the Facebook page of the Wheeling Intelligencer this morning. Some who left comments think criminal activity, creating a mess, and disorderly conduct as undesirable behavior which simply needs to stop. Obviously, many city officials and many others in the community, including some of those responsible for caring for those who are homeless, seem unable to imagine that any of those whose homes are being destroyed could include their friends and relatives. Some seem unable to imagine that tomorrow or later today they too could be one of those homeless people who are creating a mess, breaking laws by taking what they need from others or engaging in disorderly conduct. Understandably, none of us like to think that we are that vulnerable; that we could lose our ability to think well enough to care for ourselves or to have the funds to care for ourselves. Even in the midst of a pandemic when millions of people in this and other countries have lost the ability to pay their rent/mortgage, buy groceries, make a car payment, or pay for auto and home insurance none of us like to think that we could be part the community of homeless creating an encampment without running water, central heat, indoor plumbling; without access to our refrigertors and a ready supply of ice cubes.
None of us like to think that our drinking could get out of control as we sink into hopelessness and powerlessness; that our brain could sink into clinical depression, panic attacks, or even delusional thinking. Most of us like to think we have free will which allows us to make healthy decisions no matter what the circumstances. We like to think that we control our ability to share a reality with “healthy” people.
We want to think the way our individual minds perceive and process reality must, of course, be reality. It is very difficult to accept that what seems obvious to us is not obvious to everyone else.
Empathy is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “The ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Today, at this moment, I know that feelings do not necessarily connect me with a shared reality. It seems obvious that my feelings are only a slice of my reality. On a cognitive level I know that there is a tiny line between my shared reality and the potential of a delusional reality. I am not in control of that line as much as I like to believe that I am.
Empathy – understanding and sharing the reality of others – is not a possibility. Allowing for that fact might then allow for the possibility that I can forego judgement of those whose reality is not shared with mine. I might be willing to imagine how I would want to be treated when/if I am living in an encampment for the homeless; I might be willing to hear the stories of the fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, nieces, nephew, grandparents, and neighbors whose home is in the encampments which are being destroyed.
Perhaps we would be better served if we let go of the delusion of empathy. Perhaps that would be a more humane starting point in communicating with our brothers and sister in the encampments for the homeless.
Written April 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
I have previously written about the fact that it is impossible to put ourselves in the shoes of another whose experience is different than our own. Recently I wrote about the dismantling of homeless camps by representative of the city of Wheeling, WV. The reasons given includes the fact there is disorderly behavior by some, criminal activity by some and creating and leaving a mess by some. I was reading some comments on the Facebook page of the Wheeling Intelligencer this morning. Some who left comments think criminal activity, creating a mess, and disorderly conduct as undesirable behavior which simply needs to stop. Obviously, many city officials and many others in the community, including some of those responsible for caring for those who are homeless, seem unable to imagine that any of those whose homes are being destroyed could include their friends and relatives. Some seem unable to imagine that tomorrow or later today they too could be one of those homeless people who are creating a mess, breaking laws by taking what they need from others or engaging in disorderly conduct. Understandably, none of us like to think that we are that vulnerable; that we could lose our ability to think well enough to care for ourselves or to have the funds to care for ourselves. Even in the midst of a pandemic when millions of people in this and other countries have lost the ability to pay their rent/mortgage, buy groceries, make a car payment, or pay for auto and home insurance none of us like to think that we could be part the community of homeless creating an encampment without running water, central heat, indoor plumbling; without access to our refrigertors and a ready supply of ice cubes.
None of us like to think that our drinking could get out of control as we sink into hopelessness and powerlessness; that our brain could sink into clinical depression, panic attacks, or even delusional thinking. Most of us like to think we have free will which allows us to make healthy decisions no matter what the circumstances. We like to think that we control our ability to share a reality with “healthy” people.
We want to think the way our individual minds perceive and process reality must, of course, be reality. It is very difficult to accept that what seems obvious to us is not obvious to everyone else.
Empathy is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “The ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Today, at this moment, I know that feelings do not necessarily connect me with a shared reality. It seems obvious that my feelings are only a slice of my reality. On a cognitive level I know that there is a tiny line between my shared reality and the potential of a delusional reality. I am not in control of that line as much as I like to believe that I am.
Empathy – understanding and sharing the reality of others – is not a possibility. Allowing for that fact might then allow for the possibility that I can forego judgement of those whose reality is not shared with mine. I might be willing to imagine how I would want to be treated when/if I am living in an encampment for the homeless; I might be willing to hear the stories of the fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, nieces, nephew, grandparents, and neighbors whose home is in the encampments which are being destroyed.
Perhaps we would be better served if we let go of the delusion of empathy. Perhaps that would be a more humane starting point in communicating with our brothers and sister in the encampments for the homeless.
Written April 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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