Endings are always beginnings unless they are not!
I have been in Oklahoma since April 24th where I lived a significant part of my childhood. The reason for my visit was to be with my mother while she lived out the last few days of her 96 years. She was able to let go on the 28th. I was very grateful that I could join some of the other members of the family for this ending which is, of course, also a beginning. When we are present for these times of major transitions, our mind recalls the many films which have been stored and continuously edited during the intervening years. It may be that some of these films have been hidden in a folder that got filed in the wrong place or slipped to the bottom of the file drawer to live quietly underneath the other files and went unnoticed for many years. Some event might eventually cause one to lift all the other hanging files out of the drawer and retrieve the ones which have been resting beneath them. As soon as we open the folders all the sensations with which we stored them may seem to erupt making what seemed like the past now the present again.
In that sense, as so many wiser people have remarked, the past is always the present. The future does not yet exist and when it does it is the present. Thus, we may (or may not) come to accept that there is no time other than the present. I am also reminded that this moment is a new opportunity which has never existed before and will never exist again. Yet, some of we humans, having the peculiar habits that we do, may insist on rebirthing the anger, resentment, hurts, perceived or experienced slights, that were retrieved from those file folders into this present moment. We may seem unable to accept that the past does not need to become the present. If so, it becomes the present. We may then carefully feed and water the anger, resentment and perceived or experienced hurts so that they can be continually rebirthed - larger and more powerful. Eventually the process erases all but the anger, resentment and hurts. There now is no us to celebrate the new beginnings and, of course, if there is no us there is no support or love to join us for a comforting cup of tea. We may, of course, at this point in time, decide to adopt a new ‘family’ who may, for a time, help us nurture our negative feelings. It may feel as if we have successfully transitioned to a new beginning. Sadly, however, our present is an illusion as is the connection with our new adopted family. Soon, new resentments, anger and hurt will join that which we have brought with us. We can, of course, continue this process for a very long time if we are able and willing to keep adopting a new family who will eventually disappoint the illusion which is us. The new beginnings are, in fact, not the present and, thus, not new beginnings at all. There are, in this play, no endings and no beginnings. There is only the past which has become the present.
While it may feel dangerous to let go of the fear and resulting negative feelings the real danger is holding on to them. Feeding the fear will not prevent one from being hurt yet again. It will guarantee we will be hurt because we have not been present to new beginnings. This is a very lonely place.
I am again led to believe if there is no us to be present to the new beginning, the resulting stress is going to affect the entire universe. The body begins with one fertilized egg. The effect of the newly born infant on the universe may seem negligible. By the time the cells have divided enough to form an adult, the potential effect of that human is very powerful. One could, of course, point out that even children sometimes commit mass murder or write an amazing symphony at a very early age.
The bottom line is that our decision to refuse to experience a new beginning or our inability to allow ourselves to experience a new beginning because of holding on to old anger, resentment and experienced or perceived hurts has an enormous affect internally and externally on the entire universe despite the fact that we may feel very powerless.
The challenge is to access the courage to enter the realm of the vast unknown of new beginnings. We know, of course, that as the late Dwayne Dyer reminded us that thoughts can open new doors. The power of allowing ourselves to entrain the possibilities of a new beginning can be a giant first step in claiming our birthright to a life of discoveries, love and new possibilities.
Written April 29, 2016
I have been in Oklahoma since April 24th where I lived a significant part of my childhood. The reason for my visit was to be with my mother while she lived out the last few days of her 96 years. She was able to let go on the 28th. I was very grateful that I could join some of the other members of the family for this ending which is, of course, also a beginning. When we are present for these times of major transitions, our mind recalls the many films which have been stored and continuously edited during the intervening years. It may be that some of these films have been hidden in a folder that got filed in the wrong place or slipped to the bottom of the file drawer to live quietly underneath the other files and went unnoticed for many years. Some event might eventually cause one to lift all the other hanging files out of the drawer and retrieve the ones which have been resting beneath them. As soon as we open the folders all the sensations with which we stored them may seem to erupt making what seemed like the past now the present again.
In that sense, as so many wiser people have remarked, the past is always the present. The future does not yet exist and when it does it is the present. Thus, we may (or may not) come to accept that there is no time other than the present. I am also reminded that this moment is a new opportunity which has never existed before and will never exist again. Yet, some of we humans, having the peculiar habits that we do, may insist on rebirthing the anger, resentment, hurts, perceived or experienced slights, that were retrieved from those file folders into this present moment. We may seem unable to accept that the past does not need to become the present. If so, it becomes the present. We may then carefully feed and water the anger, resentment and perceived or experienced hurts so that they can be continually rebirthed - larger and more powerful. Eventually the process erases all but the anger, resentment and hurts. There now is no us to celebrate the new beginnings and, of course, if there is no us there is no support or love to join us for a comforting cup of tea. We may, of course, at this point in time, decide to adopt a new ‘family’ who may, for a time, help us nurture our negative feelings. It may feel as if we have successfully transitioned to a new beginning. Sadly, however, our present is an illusion as is the connection with our new adopted family. Soon, new resentments, anger and hurt will join that which we have brought with us. We can, of course, continue this process for a very long time if we are able and willing to keep adopting a new family who will eventually disappoint the illusion which is us. The new beginnings are, in fact, not the present and, thus, not new beginnings at all. There are, in this play, no endings and no beginnings. There is only the past which has become the present.
While it may feel dangerous to let go of the fear and resulting negative feelings the real danger is holding on to them. Feeding the fear will not prevent one from being hurt yet again. It will guarantee we will be hurt because we have not been present to new beginnings. This is a very lonely place.
I am again led to believe if there is no us to be present to the new beginning, the resulting stress is going to affect the entire universe. The body begins with one fertilized egg. The effect of the newly born infant on the universe may seem negligible. By the time the cells have divided enough to form an adult, the potential effect of that human is very powerful. One could, of course, point out that even children sometimes commit mass murder or write an amazing symphony at a very early age.
The bottom line is that our decision to refuse to experience a new beginning or our inability to allow ourselves to experience a new beginning because of holding on to old anger, resentment and experienced or perceived hurts has an enormous affect internally and externally on the entire universe despite the fact that we may feel very powerless.
The challenge is to access the courage to enter the realm of the vast unknown of new beginnings. We know, of course, that as the late Dwayne Dyer reminded us that thoughts can open new doors. The power of allowing ourselves to entrain the possibilities of a new beginning can be a giant first step in claiming our birthright to a life of discoveries, love and new possibilities.
Written April 29, 2016
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