Epiphanies
I am reading John Grisham novel “The Street Lawyer” published in 1998. In this novel the main character, Mike is confronted with the fact that although he is successful in the eyes of his parents and many others, he is very disconnected from himself and from others. The high-powered law firm for which he works represents a person who kicks out poor people living in a building so that it can be torn down and replaced by another building. One of the those kicked out comes to the law firm and briefly takes some of the attorneys, including Mike, hostage. Sadly, the man, Mister, is shot and killed by the police.
This incidence, however, prompts Mike to confront the epiphany that his life has no meaningful purpose. He has a marriage which is dead, but not yet buried, an expensive car, a luxurious apartment and is disconnected from anything within himself which would give make him feel as if he was worthwhile.
While reading, I was reminded of the Christian hymn, Amazing Grade, one line of which is “I was lost and now am found, was blind and now I see.”
I recently saw a client who though he was doing what he was supposed to do to be a good husband and father. He has a college degree, works hard and has been able to purchase a very nice house, two expensive cars and all the “things” which “successful people” have. He, his wife and son did not want for anything material. Sadly, his wife, a recovering addict, relapsed and when he found out his world came crashing done. He is now realizing that the one thing his wife and son needed from him which he was not providing was his emotional presence. Much of the time he would come home tired and not communicate with his family. When his wife attempted to tell him that she wanted and needed his emotional presence, he felt as if she was being ungrateful for all he did. His behavior was not responsible for her relapse. She had many other heathy choices although she may not have felt as if she did.
He has had an epiphany and now realizes that the same rules which apply to mechanical and business systems apply to relationships with other people. That epiphany provides the basis for reclaiming his relationship with his emotional and spiritual self, his son and possibly with his wife. Just as with the character Mike in John Grisham’s novel, a tragic set of events has awakened him to the shallowness of his apparent successful life.
Many of us fall into the trap of allowing life to just happen or allowing what others or the society at large says is important to determine our life course. Often it is not until some tragic event happens that the wise part of us is awaken.
Epiphanies are often the awakening of a part of us which has been asleep for a long time. Once we have an epiphany it may often seem as if it should have been impossible to miss the simple truth which has been revealed to one.
In the 12 steps program, often newcomers do not understand how the program could possibly help one reclaim one’s life. They will be told to not use and to keep just coming back. For those who do as advised the program will often eventually begin to make sense.
Much of learning is collecting piece after piece of a particular puzzle which does not make sense until we get that piece which suddenly connects all the other pieces. Until the epiphany happens it may seem as if one is not learning anything. It takes faith and patience to trust this process.
Written May 14, 2018
I am reading John Grisham novel “The Street Lawyer” published in 1998. In this novel the main character, Mike is confronted with the fact that although he is successful in the eyes of his parents and many others, he is very disconnected from himself and from others. The high-powered law firm for which he works represents a person who kicks out poor people living in a building so that it can be torn down and replaced by another building. One of the those kicked out comes to the law firm and briefly takes some of the attorneys, including Mike, hostage. Sadly, the man, Mister, is shot and killed by the police.
This incidence, however, prompts Mike to confront the epiphany that his life has no meaningful purpose. He has a marriage which is dead, but not yet buried, an expensive car, a luxurious apartment and is disconnected from anything within himself which would give make him feel as if he was worthwhile.
While reading, I was reminded of the Christian hymn, Amazing Grade, one line of which is “I was lost and now am found, was blind and now I see.”
I recently saw a client who though he was doing what he was supposed to do to be a good husband and father. He has a college degree, works hard and has been able to purchase a very nice house, two expensive cars and all the “things” which “successful people” have. He, his wife and son did not want for anything material. Sadly, his wife, a recovering addict, relapsed and when he found out his world came crashing done. He is now realizing that the one thing his wife and son needed from him which he was not providing was his emotional presence. Much of the time he would come home tired and not communicate with his family. When his wife attempted to tell him that she wanted and needed his emotional presence, he felt as if she was being ungrateful for all he did. His behavior was not responsible for her relapse. She had many other heathy choices although she may not have felt as if she did.
He has had an epiphany and now realizes that the same rules which apply to mechanical and business systems apply to relationships with other people. That epiphany provides the basis for reclaiming his relationship with his emotional and spiritual self, his son and possibly with his wife. Just as with the character Mike in John Grisham’s novel, a tragic set of events has awakened him to the shallowness of his apparent successful life.
Many of us fall into the trap of allowing life to just happen or allowing what others or the society at large says is important to determine our life course. Often it is not until some tragic event happens that the wise part of us is awaken.
Epiphanies are often the awakening of a part of us which has been asleep for a long time. Once we have an epiphany it may often seem as if it should have been impossible to miss the simple truth which has been revealed to one.
In the 12 steps program, often newcomers do not understand how the program could possibly help one reclaim one’s life. They will be told to not use and to keep just coming back. For those who do as advised the program will often eventually begin to make sense.
Much of learning is collecting piece after piece of a particular puzzle which does not make sense until we get that piece which suddenly connects all the other pieces. Until the epiphany happens it may seem as if one is not learning anything. It takes faith and patience to trust this process.
Written May 14, 2018
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