Every goodbye could be the last
As my readers know, I am in the process of getting ready to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma. This past few weeks I have been spending time with friends – two to four at a time – to celebrate friendships and to say goodbye. Covid-19 prevents a larger gathering and there are not enough evenings and weekends to meet with all who are important to me. Fortunately, thanks to my mother, Grandma Fannie and Aunt Pleasie at a young age I learned to practice the art of letter writing. Many readers of this blog may take cell phone and the internet for granted, but when I was growing up in the dark ages, often without electricity much less a telephone, letter writing was the only available options for staying in touch. If one did have a phone it was likely a party line shared with other households. The monthly fee covered only local call. Long distance calls were expensive and, thus, reserved for special occasions such as emergencies. Although I have had a cell phone and the internet for many years, letter writing is still one of my preferred ways of keeping in touch. I do, however, use email, messenger and text messaging. Some of my friends and I have agreed to retain the format of letters, but use email since it makes the trip to and from such places as Australia much quicker than snail mail.
While I am in the midst of making this important life transition, the life journey of others goes on. For example, a dear friend is now living his last days. Many of my friends are at the same age as those whose deaths I read about in the obituary section of the local newspapers. Interspersed between the names of those who have lived 4 score and more are the names of those who have lived one or two score or less.
Most of us live our life as if there will always be time to spend with loved ones even when covid-19 or other reminders by mother nature remind us of the brevity and fragility of this life journey. We seem very surprised when someone close to us dies or when work colleagues interrupt our schedule by dying, taking a different job and/or moving away. It is as if we expect the current moment to stretch to infinity. Even if we seldom spend time with someone we like the illusion that when we finally create time in our schedule they will be available. Often we are reminded that is not the case and, yet, we soon return to the same busy schedule until we are again surprised that others are moving on instead of patiently waiting for us to make time for a visit
When we are in love or lust or limerick there is plenty of time for the person who has captured our attention. A few wise people continue to make time to share the delight of their love for 60 or even 70 years. I have known a few of those couples.
I am not only saying “so long for now” to the possibility of a in person meeting but preparing to say hello to a city and people I left some 62 years ago. I have moved many times in my life journey. I have not always been good about simultaneously nurturing existing friendships and opening my heart and mind to new ones. There have been times when I seemed to barely have enough energy to take the next step; when the emotions of a troubled relationship or the pull of a career transition took 99.9 % of my energy. I did not, at those times, often say thank you or goodbye. I was emotionally and physically absent. Those were lonely times. Today I am more intentional about staying in close touch and allowing others to give me support.
Today my spiritual intention is to be honest and trustworthy with myself and others. For me that means I do not want to pretend as if there is always time to spend with loved ones or to open myself to new opportunities. I want to be emotionally and not just physically present with loved ones and not thinking about my next task or encounter. I know every meeting is a potential goodbye as well as a hello. I want my heart, my words and my dance to reflect my deep desire to leave love and joy with every encounter whether with a longtime friend who may not be biologically related or the store clerk I may only see one time.
Written October 29, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
As my readers know, I am in the process of getting ready to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma. This past few weeks I have been spending time with friends – two to four at a time – to celebrate friendships and to say goodbye. Covid-19 prevents a larger gathering and there are not enough evenings and weekends to meet with all who are important to me. Fortunately, thanks to my mother, Grandma Fannie and Aunt Pleasie at a young age I learned to practice the art of letter writing. Many readers of this blog may take cell phone and the internet for granted, but when I was growing up in the dark ages, often without electricity much less a telephone, letter writing was the only available options for staying in touch. If one did have a phone it was likely a party line shared with other households. The monthly fee covered only local call. Long distance calls were expensive and, thus, reserved for special occasions such as emergencies. Although I have had a cell phone and the internet for many years, letter writing is still one of my preferred ways of keeping in touch. I do, however, use email, messenger and text messaging. Some of my friends and I have agreed to retain the format of letters, but use email since it makes the trip to and from such places as Australia much quicker than snail mail.
While I am in the midst of making this important life transition, the life journey of others goes on. For example, a dear friend is now living his last days. Many of my friends are at the same age as those whose deaths I read about in the obituary section of the local newspapers. Interspersed between the names of those who have lived 4 score and more are the names of those who have lived one or two score or less.
Most of us live our life as if there will always be time to spend with loved ones even when covid-19 or other reminders by mother nature remind us of the brevity and fragility of this life journey. We seem very surprised when someone close to us dies or when work colleagues interrupt our schedule by dying, taking a different job and/or moving away. It is as if we expect the current moment to stretch to infinity. Even if we seldom spend time with someone we like the illusion that when we finally create time in our schedule they will be available. Often we are reminded that is not the case and, yet, we soon return to the same busy schedule until we are again surprised that others are moving on instead of patiently waiting for us to make time for a visit
When we are in love or lust or limerick there is plenty of time for the person who has captured our attention. A few wise people continue to make time to share the delight of their love for 60 or even 70 years. I have known a few of those couples.
I am not only saying “so long for now” to the possibility of a in person meeting but preparing to say hello to a city and people I left some 62 years ago. I have moved many times in my life journey. I have not always been good about simultaneously nurturing existing friendships and opening my heart and mind to new ones. There have been times when I seemed to barely have enough energy to take the next step; when the emotions of a troubled relationship or the pull of a career transition took 99.9 % of my energy. I did not, at those times, often say thank you or goodbye. I was emotionally and physically absent. Those were lonely times. Today I am more intentional about staying in close touch and allowing others to give me support.
Today my spiritual intention is to be honest and trustworthy with myself and others. For me that means I do not want to pretend as if there is always time to spend with loved ones or to open myself to new opportunities. I want to be emotionally and not just physically present with loved ones and not thinking about my next task or encounter. I know every meeting is a potential goodbye as well as a hello. I want my heart, my words and my dance to reflect my deep desire to leave love and joy with every encounter whether with a longtime friend who may not be biologically related or the store clerk I may only see one time.
Written October 29, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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