Family
Today is Sunday, January 17, 2016. Tomorrow, Monday, many of us will gather with others to honor and remember the ideals of Martin Luther King, Jr. I will join my friend Theresa at a Quaker meeting house for a pot luck dinner and discussion. Many of us are old enough to remember the exciting and powerful sense of community/family when we gathered on the National Mall for the “I Have a Dream” speech or with a group of others who were praying in Layfette Park across from the White House, gathering to lobby our elected officials, marching with workers, students and others, or confronting the way that organizations such as churches, colleges, and others invested their money in companies which oppressed others. There was a strong sense of “Yes we can.” There was also the comfort of knowing that there would always be food, a place to sleep and, if needed, help with gas or other practical needs. We were family. This was long before we danced until the wee hours of the morning while Sister Sledge reminded us “We are family.” We knew we were family and we were powerful.
Today, January 17, 2017 the philosophy of non-violence and the sense of family has receded into the background for many. As I sat in Panera’s listing to the angry talk about immigration, President Obama, and the financial complaints or concerns of some angry white men, I did not feel like family. Yet, I recognize that these are individuals who are worried that all that they have learned to trust will be taken from them. I have listened to these men (and sometimes women) on many occasions talk about how hard they have worked all their lives and now they want to be assured that no one will take away the just rewards of working that hard.
Earlier ,while at the gym, I had listened to three Ted Talks. There were:
A talk by Benedetta Berti: The Surprising way groups like ISIS stay in power.
Rich Benjamin: My road trip through the whitest towns in America.
John Green: The nerd’s guide to learning everything online.
All three of these talks had the same essential message. That message is that all we humans care about family or community. It is about how we take care of each other. Ms. Berti talks about how groups such as ISIS take care of each other with social services, schools, and other basic needs. Rich Benjamin, who lived for some time in three of the whitest communities in the United States, found that he as a black individual was welcomed and treated well in communities with people gathered on golf courses, in churches, to play poker, and to share meals. John Green talked about first attending a private school and finding others excited about learning and later discovered the exciting community of people who share You Tube videos followed by discussions on line.
Although I have spoken previously of my belief that we humans need to feel a part of a community where people respect and take care of each other, it is reassuring to me to find others (a community of people) who also think that if we want to create a less violent, less racist, less disenfranchised world, we need to invite each other to be a part of a community.
Ironically members of ISIS and those responding to the violence of ISIS make the same mistake. ISIS uses violence to respond to perceived threats and affronts to the God of their understanding. Others then respond to the response of violence with more violence. White people often respond to perceived threats by isolating and inflicting or threatening violence against those who are not white (as a group). The non-whites then respond with verbal and sometimes physical threats which then …. Kids who drop out of school and who may join gangs or groups who use drugs or anti-establishment/anti-education groups to discover the thrill of learning even if that learning is how to survive on the street or in prison. If and when they find another group such as the “nerds” who are excited about connecting with others who enjoy learning in the non-traditional classroom of the internet, such as You Tube, they too become excited about being members of this newly discovered community.
What is it we academics, politicians, educators, social workers, and members of the law enforcement community do not understand about the strong attraction and some might say need for community? We humans may have learned to be fearful of community and may form a new community composed of individuals distrustful of the establishment, but we will always find a new community (even if it a community with the animal kingdom in some isolated place).
Failure to appreciate that need for community or failure to appreciate that violence and other mis-treatment are not inviting behaviors will insure that we continue to label and treat each other as enemies. Once we have labeled someone as an enemy we are not likely to embrace them or help them with housing, food, education, health care, and other basic needs. If we attempt to provide some of those needs while at the very same time killing off their family members, we are not going to stop the cycle of violence.
Marin Luther King Jr. accomplished a lot. Those of us who angrily confronted those who disagreed did a disservice to all involved. We may have been physically non-violent and offered flowers to stick in the ends of guns, but we often did so with an attitude of self-righteousness and superiority. We did not invite them to come share our table as family.
The good news (as I have pointed out in this brief essay) is that there are many such as Ms. Berti, Mr. Green, and Mr. Bemjamin who are inviting us to recognize why mistreating those who taking care of each other as family will not result in expanding the family/community.
“We are family” (Song lyrics to We Are Family by Sister Sledge - Oracle Band
www.oracleband.net/Lyrics/we-are-family.htm
Written by Bernard Rodgers & Nile Rodgers; Originally performed by Sister Sledge
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(WE!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
Let’s dance as the family that we are!
Written January 17, 2016
Today is Sunday, January 17, 2016. Tomorrow, Monday, many of us will gather with others to honor and remember the ideals of Martin Luther King, Jr. I will join my friend Theresa at a Quaker meeting house for a pot luck dinner and discussion. Many of us are old enough to remember the exciting and powerful sense of community/family when we gathered on the National Mall for the “I Have a Dream” speech or with a group of others who were praying in Layfette Park across from the White House, gathering to lobby our elected officials, marching with workers, students and others, or confronting the way that organizations such as churches, colleges, and others invested their money in companies which oppressed others. There was a strong sense of “Yes we can.” There was also the comfort of knowing that there would always be food, a place to sleep and, if needed, help with gas or other practical needs. We were family. This was long before we danced until the wee hours of the morning while Sister Sledge reminded us “We are family.” We knew we were family and we were powerful.
Today, January 17, 2017 the philosophy of non-violence and the sense of family has receded into the background for many. As I sat in Panera’s listing to the angry talk about immigration, President Obama, and the financial complaints or concerns of some angry white men, I did not feel like family. Yet, I recognize that these are individuals who are worried that all that they have learned to trust will be taken from them. I have listened to these men (and sometimes women) on many occasions talk about how hard they have worked all their lives and now they want to be assured that no one will take away the just rewards of working that hard.
Earlier ,while at the gym, I had listened to three Ted Talks. There were:
A talk by Benedetta Berti: The Surprising way groups like ISIS stay in power.
Rich Benjamin: My road trip through the whitest towns in America.
John Green: The nerd’s guide to learning everything online.
All three of these talks had the same essential message. That message is that all we humans care about family or community. It is about how we take care of each other. Ms. Berti talks about how groups such as ISIS take care of each other with social services, schools, and other basic needs. Rich Benjamin, who lived for some time in three of the whitest communities in the United States, found that he as a black individual was welcomed and treated well in communities with people gathered on golf courses, in churches, to play poker, and to share meals. John Green talked about first attending a private school and finding others excited about learning and later discovered the exciting community of people who share You Tube videos followed by discussions on line.
Although I have spoken previously of my belief that we humans need to feel a part of a community where people respect and take care of each other, it is reassuring to me to find others (a community of people) who also think that if we want to create a less violent, less racist, less disenfranchised world, we need to invite each other to be a part of a community.
Ironically members of ISIS and those responding to the violence of ISIS make the same mistake. ISIS uses violence to respond to perceived threats and affronts to the God of their understanding. Others then respond to the response of violence with more violence. White people often respond to perceived threats by isolating and inflicting or threatening violence against those who are not white (as a group). The non-whites then respond with verbal and sometimes physical threats which then …. Kids who drop out of school and who may join gangs or groups who use drugs or anti-establishment/anti-education groups to discover the thrill of learning even if that learning is how to survive on the street or in prison. If and when they find another group such as the “nerds” who are excited about connecting with others who enjoy learning in the non-traditional classroom of the internet, such as You Tube, they too become excited about being members of this newly discovered community.
What is it we academics, politicians, educators, social workers, and members of the law enforcement community do not understand about the strong attraction and some might say need for community? We humans may have learned to be fearful of community and may form a new community composed of individuals distrustful of the establishment, but we will always find a new community (even if it a community with the animal kingdom in some isolated place).
Failure to appreciate that need for community or failure to appreciate that violence and other mis-treatment are not inviting behaviors will insure that we continue to label and treat each other as enemies. Once we have labeled someone as an enemy we are not likely to embrace them or help them with housing, food, education, health care, and other basic needs. If we attempt to provide some of those needs while at the very same time killing off their family members, we are not going to stop the cycle of violence.
Marin Luther King Jr. accomplished a lot. Those of us who angrily confronted those who disagreed did a disservice to all involved. We may have been physically non-violent and offered flowers to stick in the ends of guns, but we often did so with an attitude of self-righteousness and superiority. We did not invite them to come share our table as family.
The good news (as I have pointed out in this brief essay) is that there are many such as Ms. Berti, Mr. Green, and Mr. Bemjamin who are inviting us to recognize why mistreating those who taking care of each other as family will not result in expanding the family/community.
“We are family” (Song lyrics to We Are Family by Sister Sledge - Oracle Band
www.oracleband.net/Lyrics/we-are-family.htm
Written by Bernard Rodgers & Nile Rodgers; Originally performed by Sister Sledge
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(WE!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
Let’s dance as the family that we are!
Written January 17, 2016
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