Family Values
I often suggest to families that they discuss family values and then post them on the refrigerator or a family bulletin/white board in the kitchen. I further suggest that family values are just that – values which all members of the family agree to strive to follow. This subject frequent comes up when a parent or other adult family member is attempting to justify a behavior which does not adhere to the values they want to teach their children. Obviously, I am not talking about behaviors which may vary according to age, i. e. sexual behavior or safe consumption of alcohol or caffeine. We all instinctly know that children take their cue from what we do and not from what we say.
In an age when the behavior of others is often very public it seems to me important that families discuss and attempt to agree on core values. Every day nearly all of us receive thousands of messages via radio, television, billboards, magazines, books, newspapers, cell phones, and internet including social media. Nearly all of these messages contain an explicitly or implicitly stated value. A good example was the results of journalist Scott McCartney from the Wall Street Journal asking Delta Air Lines, CEO, Ed Bastian, and American Airlines CEO, Doug Parker to sit in the coach section of the respective carrier’s planes. Apparently United CEO declined. Both of these men are approximately 6’3”. Both said that the seats will not be getting any smaller, but both reportedly said that if people want more space, they can pay for it. (WSJ July 24, 2018.
If one has recently flown one might have noticed that many airlines now offer a choice of seats for an extra fee or including in the price of the ticket one can sit in one of the cheaper seats which may have less leg room, may not recline and may have very thin padding.
It is not my intention to herein discuss the economics of the airline industry. It is my intention to focus on the implicit values of the comment made by the American and Delta CEO’s that if people want more space, they can pay for it. The implicit values contained therein are:
On the surface, some of these may seem to be true at least some of the time. For example, it is true:
The amount of money one has does not indicate whether:
Written August 6, 2018
I often suggest to families that they discuss family values and then post them on the refrigerator or a family bulletin/white board in the kitchen. I further suggest that family values are just that – values which all members of the family agree to strive to follow. This subject frequent comes up when a parent or other adult family member is attempting to justify a behavior which does not adhere to the values they want to teach their children. Obviously, I am not talking about behaviors which may vary according to age, i. e. sexual behavior or safe consumption of alcohol or caffeine. We all instinctly know that children take their cue from what we do and not from what we say.
In an age when the behavior of others is often very public it seems to me important that families discuss and attempt to agree on core values. Every day nearly all of us receive thousands of messages via radio, television, billboards, magazines, books, newspapers, cell phones, and internet including social media. Nearly all of these messages contain an explicitly or implicitly stated value. A good example was the results of journalist Scott McCartney from the Wall Street Journal asking Delta Air Lines, CEO, Ed Bastian, and American Airlines CEO, Doug Parker to sit in the coach section of the respective carrier’s planes. Apparently United CEO declined. Both of these men are approximately 6’3”. Both said that the seats will not be getting any smaller, but both reportedly said that if people want more space, they can pay for it. (WSJ July 24, 2018.
If one has recently flown one might have noticed that many airlines now offer a choice of seats for an extra fee or including in the price of the ticket one can sit in one of the cheaper seats which may have less leg room, may not recline and may have very thin padding.
It is not my intention to herein discuss the economics of the airline industry. It is my intention to focus on the implicit values of the comment made by the American and Delta CEO’s that if people want more space, they can pay for it. The implicit values contained therein are:
- People with more money deserve more comfort.
- People with less money need to suck it up and quit whining.
- Those who are good people have more money.
- Having more or less money is a choice
- God favors those with are successful – work hard and achieve success.
- Making decent money is at least one major indicator of success.
- The one with the most expensive toys wins.
On the surface, some of these may seem to be true at least some of the time. For example, it is true:
- Some may choose to place family ahead of getting promoted and will not likely ever be CEOs and command million dollar salaries.
- Some CEO’s may be very present family members.
- If one chooses to be a counselor or social worker one is choosing to live on the average salary paid for that profession.
- Some people who are successful make a lot of money.
- Not all people equate success with making a lot of money.
The amount of money one has does not indicate whether:
- One is a loving, good and dependable friend.
- One is a loving, available, present partner.
- One is a loving, available parent.
- One is a loving, involved community member.
- One is racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise discriminates.
- Walks the walk of their religious beliefs.
Written August 6, 2018
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