Family/community rules
One for all. All for one
I often suggest to clients who are parents or living with other people of any age that they may want to consider having one set of rules for the entire family. Of course, one has to allow for such factors as age and ability. Still, the principle remains the same. I further suggest that a good way to litmus test a behavior is to clearly write out the behavior and post it on the refrigerator as a family rule. If we are going to cheat on our taxes, not reporting cash income, or use anger as a primary tool to avoid issues we could challenge ourselves to post a family rule which states that “In this family it is good to be dishonest or to otherwise avoid issues as long as one does not get caught.” Most of us would not be willing to post this as a recommended rule for all members of the family or household.
I also recommend the same basic rule for business. Any behavior which is condoned for an individual should be condoned for all employees. Thus, if a “boss” can be disrespectful then it is okay for the supervisee to be disrespectful to the boss. Obviously most companies would not agree.
One might think that this same approach might work for a community, a nation or a larger body of people. Yet, this seems not to be the way we function in many instances. For example, one of the rules by which we in the United States operate seems to be, “If blackmail works, it is a virtuous behavior.” This seems true for many individuals in relationship to other family members, for politicians and for many corporations. I encountered three instances of this by 8:00 a.m. this morning:
· An active alcoholic is directly and indirectly threatening suicide if his family holds him accountable for not getting the treatment he needs to work a recovery program.
· Mylan, the pharmaceutical company, who acquired the right to manufacture EpiPens in 2007 has raised the price since then over 400 %. Several sources I checked estimated that the cost of epinephrine is about $1.00 and the maximum cost of the syringe is at the most about $15.00. Yet the current price in the United States for a double pen set is $608.00. Mylan CEO Heather Bresch in an Associated Press article published in the Tampa Bay Times (August 26, 2016, 2A) defended her company’s price hike Thursday and told CNBC that “…lowering the price was not an option.” Bresch says. “… the company only receives $274 of the $608.00 for a twin package of EpiPens. She said insurers, pharmacies, prescription benefit managers and distributors divvy up the rest.” Yet, Forbes Magazine (August 23,2016) reports in an article entitled “Worlds 25 Biggest Drug and Biotech Companies in 2016” that “Bresch earned $2,453,456 in 2007, the year of the EpiPen acquisition. In 2015, Bresch’s total compensation was $18,931,068.” An aggressive marketing or education campaign encourages individuals, families and schools to have a fresh supply of these pens on hand to counter life threatening allergic reactions.
· Donald Trump who has famously campaigned saying that “we need to get Americans back to work, not seeing how many foreign workers we can bring to the United states” is currently seeking 65 H-2B Visa for employees at his Mar-a-Lao Club (Alex Leary, “Trump club hires foreign workers” (Tampa Bay Times, August 26 2015, p1A). At the same time Mr. Trump claims that he would be “the greatest jobs president God ever created” while saying and/or implying that if Mrs. Clinton is elected, United States workers will continue to be without employment. The rule which Mr. Trump has consistently seems to propose is “Use fear, false promises, and all the loopholes the current laws allow to get ahead financially.” He often seems to suggest that one of the strongest blackmail tools are fear and use of business bankruptcy laws. At the same time, he often rants again “the criminals.”
In thinking about blackmail, I am also reminded of the concept of iatrogenic. This term generally refers to the illness which is caused by the treatment. It is most commonly used to refer to the adverse side effects of many medications. I also use it to describe the results of the actions of blackmailers. The blackmailer often creates a problem, condition or situation which then forces others to deal with the adverse side effects of their behavior. If they do not, some other adverse problem, condition or situation will occur. The person(s) being blackmailed is at the mercy of the blackmailer. When the alcoholic refuses to get treatment they force the family, employer or community to rescue them or deal with other adverse consequences which could include their suicide. When companies such as Mylan raise the price on a lifesaving medication so that they can pay stockholders, the CEO and a few others an obscene amount of money, the individuals or family members who need the medication to survive are forced to buy it. Both the alcoholic and companies such as Mylan may blame others, but the truth is they have created the adverse condition or situation. When a company consistently uses practices which result in company (not personal) bankruptcy all the creditor and “partners” are forced to live with the adverse solution.
In the long run, no one wins when blackmail is an accepted family/community/business rule. Certainly, some may get temporary relief or momentary wealth as a result of blackmail but one has essentially destroyed the concept of family or community. If everyone in the community or a majority begin to use blackmail as a tool, then no one trusts anyone and it is the beginning of the end for the family or larger community.
The solution sounds simple, but often is not. We cannot advise anyone to quit buying EpiPens. While, with the alcoholic, we might advise tough love, talk to a family who has lived with the results of a suicide or a person who is permanently disabled. While we might advise to never give in to the person who consistently uses business bankruptcy, talk to those creditors who stand to lose everything.
There is, at times, action we can take. Some may be able to get EpiPens from Canada for a much lower price for a time. Some might practice tough love and live to see the addict successfully work a recovery program. Some might not succumb to fear or business threats and survive financially.
Long term, we all need to recognize that there is no action we as individuals can take without affecting others in a positive or negative manner. Whether we like it or not, the long term truth is that there is no “I.” It is always a “we.” Mrs. Bresch might have side-by-side mansions. The alcoholic and the family might temporarily avoid facing life on life’s terms, but only temporarily.
It might be interesting and helpful to think about evaluating our individual actions by the criteria of making it a family/community rule. Certainly it is something I want to consider.
Written August 26, 2016
One for all. All for one
I often suggest to clients who are parents or living with other people of any age that they may want to consider having one set of rules for the entire family. Of course, one has to allow for such factors as age and ability. Still, the principle remains the same. I further suggest that a good way to litmus test a behavior is to clearly write out the behavior and post it on the refrigerator as a family rule. If we are going to cheat on our taxes, not reporting cash income, or use anger as a primary tool to avoid issues we could challenge ourselves to post a family rule which states that “In this family it is good to be dishonest or to otherwise avoid issues as long as one does not get caught.” Most of us would not be willing to post this as a recommended rule for all members of the family or household.
I also recommend the same basic rule for business. Any behavior which is condoned for an individual should be condoned for all employees. Thus, if a “boss” can be disrespectful then it is okay for the supervisee to be disrespectful to the boss. Obviously most companies would not agree.
One might think that this same approach might work for a community, a nation or a larger body of people. Yet, this seems not to be the way we function in many instances. For example, one of the rules by which we in the United States operate seems to be, “If blackmail works, it is a virtuous behavior.” This seems true for many individuals in relationship to other family members, for politicians and for many corporations. I encountered three instances of this by 8:00 a.m. this morning:
· An active alcoholic is directly and indirectly threatening suicide if his family holds him accountable for not getting the treatment he needs to work a recovery program.
· Mylan, the pharmaceutical company, who acquired the right to manufacture EpiPens in 2007 has raised the price since then over 400 %. Several sources I checked estimated that the cost of epinephrine is about $1.00 and the maximum cost of the syringe is at the most about $15.00. Yet the current price in the United States for a double pen set is $608.00. Mylan CEO Heather Bresch in an Associated Press article published in the Tampa Bay Times (August 26, 2016, 2A) defended her company’s price hike Thursday and told CNBC that “…lowering the price was not an option.” Bresch says. “… the company only receives $274 of the $608.00 for a twin package of EpiPens. She said insurers, pharmacies, prescription benefit managers and distributors divvy up the rest.” Yet, Forbes Magazine (August 23,2016) reports in an article entitled “Worlds 25 Biggest Drug and Biotech Companies in 2016” that “Bresch earned $2,453,456 in 2007, the year of the EpiPen acquisition. In 2015, Bresch’s total compensation was $18,931,068.” An aggressive marketing or education campaign encourages individuals, families and schools to have a fresh supply of these pens on hand to counter life threatening allergic reactions.
· Donald Trump who has famously campaigned saying that “we need to get Americans back to work, not seeing how many foreign workers we can bring to the United states” is currently seeking 65 H-2B Visa for employees at his Mar-a-Lao Club (Alex Leary, “Trump club hires foreign workers” (Tampa Bay Times, August 26 2015, p1A). At the same time Mr. Trump claims that he would be “the greatest jobs president God ever created” while saying and/or implying that if Mrs. Clinton is elected, United States workers will continue to be without employment. The rule which Mr. Trump has consistently seems to propose is “Use fear, false promises, and all the loopholes the current laws allow to get ahead financially.” He often seems to suggest that one of the strongest blackmail tools are fear and use of business bankruptcy laws. At the same time, he often rants again “the criminals.”
In thinking about blackmail, I am also reminded of the concept of iatrogenic. This term generally refers to the illness which is caused by the treatment. It is most commonly used to refer to the adverse side effects of many medications. I also use it to describe the results of the actions of blackmailers. The blackmailer often creates a problem, condition or situation which then forces others to deal with the adverse side effects of their behavior. If they do not, some other adverse problem, condition or situation will occur. The person(s) being blackmailed is at the mercy of the blackmailer. When the alcoholic refuses to get treatment they force the family, employer or community to rescue them or deal with other adverse consequences which could include their suicide. When companies such as Mylan raise the price on a lifesaving medication so that they can pay stockholders, the CEO and a few others an obscene amount of money, the individuals or family members who need the medication to survive are forced to buy it. Both the alcoholic and companies such as Mylan may blame others, but the truth is they have created the adverse condition or situation. When a company consistently uses practices which result in company (not personal) bankruptcy all the creditor and “partners” are forced to live with the adverse solution.
In the long run, no one wins when blackmail is an accepted family/community/business rule. Certainly, some may get temporary relief or momentary wealth as a result of blackmail but one has essentially destroyed the concept of family or community. If everyone in the community or a majority begin to use blackmail as a tool, then no one trusts anyone and it is the beginning of the end for the family or larger community.
The solution sounds simple, but often is not. We cannot advise anyone to quit buying EpiPens. While, with the alcoholic, we might advise tough love, talk to a family who has lived with the results of a suicide or a person who is permanently disabled. While we might advise to never give in to the person who consistently uses business bankruptcy, talk to those creditors who stand to lose everything.
There is, at times, action we can take. Some may be able to get EpiPens from Canada for a much lower price for a time. Some might practice tough love and live to see the addict successfully work a recovery program. Some might not succumb to fear or business threats and survive financially.
Long term, we all need to recognize that there is no action we as individuals can take without affecting others in a positive or negative manner. Whether we like it or not, the long term truth is that there is no “I.” It is always a “we.” Mrs. Bresch might have side-by-side mansions. The alcoholic and the family might temporarily avoid facing life on life’s terms, but only temporarily.
It might be interesting and helpful to think about evaluating our individual actions by the criteria of making it a family/community rule. Certainly it is something I want to consider.
Written August 26, 2016
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