Foothills, Mountains and Valleys
While driving through the foothills, mountains and valleys of the Blue Ridge Mountains in West Virginia, Tennessee and North Carolina yesterday it felt like a metaphor for my life which, I am sure, is the metaphor for the basic dance of life for all of us. Earlier in the day as I listened to my son’s podcast (giant panda) during which he interviewed the author M. G. Hennessey about her most recent book The Echo Park Castaways about a group of foster children “who create their own small family” to help them navigate the Los Angeles foster care system. In Los Angeles county some estimates suggest that there are nearly 9000 homeless teens and the DCFS of Los Angeles County provides services to nearly 30 000 children. Many of the homeless children are GLBT youth whose families have abandoned them. The number of foster children includes these plus many who are directly and indirectly affected by addiction, particularly the opioid epidemic.
Obviously, some individuals experience more valleys than most of us. Yet, some of those very same individuals also experience more mountains than many others. Many are enormously resilient. They thrive in spite of all the valleys and even sinkholes of life. In many respects they are able to treat their experience as graduate and post doctoral school. Their particular life experiences provide the fortitude, realism, and determination to create a kinder and safer world.
When I am listening to my son’s podcast I am filled with admiration of how he continues to use his life experiences in such a positive way. Despite the long list of my actions and inactions which fell far outside the parameters of what I would recommend to the parents with/for whom I work, I am aware that even if I had the power to change or correct even a few of those decisions my son’s life journey and his wise and empathic approach to his current life dance would be significantly altered. Somehow he has taken all those foothills, mountains and valleys of life and is weaving an amazing tapestry. He and his partner, their two dogs and their cat continue to create a dance which makes his mother and I proud. I am sure his partner’s parents are also be very proud of her.
I must live with my past, current and future decisions. My tapestry is also woven from all these actions and inactions - the consequences of all the decisions I have made and continue to make. I cannot dwell on regrets but I must do the best I can to learn from them and make better decisions today. I remain, as does my son, a work In progress. It is up to all of us to use our experience, strength, and hope to face the fact that part of the overall collective tapestry we have woven is the number of homeless and foster children in the United States and the rest of the world. We may not write books which inspire some of those same young foster children or volunteer to be mentor as does Ms. Hennessey, but we must, I think be accountable for the effects of our past and current decisions. Whether the decisions are to be silent or vocal our dance will have a huge impact. We never know how many lives we touch or who is observing and learning from our positive and negative actions.
One thing I know is that l want to own my own strengths and not downplay or misjudge the strength of others – especially those of young people. Yet, I also do not want to downplay or misjudge the level of pain we can cause ourselves, our children and others.
The reality of the foothills, mountains and valleys calm me just as they challenge me. In many respects, as I rest in the valleys, the mountains nurture me as surely as did the warmth and milk of my mothers breasts. The Buddha would, I think, suggest that I breathe, drop the dualities and be quietly present as I listen to the wisdom of the foothills, mountains and valleys.
Written September 27, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
While driving through the foothills, mountains and valleys of the Blue Ridge Mountains in West Virginia, Tennessee and North Carolina yesterday it felt like a metaphor for my life which, I am sure, is the metaphor for the basic dance of life for all of us. Earlier in the day as I listened to my son’s podcast (giant panda) during which he interviewed the author M. G. Hennessey about her most recent book The Echo Park Castaways about a group of foster children “who create their own small family” to help them navigate the Los Angeles foster care system. In Los Angeles county some estimates suggest that there are nearly 9000 homeless teens and the DCFS of Los Angeles County provides services to nearly 30 000 children. Many of the homeless children are GLBT youth whose families have abandoned them. The number of foster children includes these plus many who are directly and indirectly affected by addiction, particularly the opioid epidemic.
Obviously, some individuals experience more valleys than most of us. Yet, some of those very same individuals also experience more mountains than many others. Many are enormously resilient. They thrive in spite of all the valleys and even sinkholes of life. In many respects they are able to treat their experience as graduate and post doctoral school. Their particular life experiences provide the fortitude, realism, and determination to create a kinder and safer world.
When I am listening to my son’s podcast I am filled with admiration of how he continues to use his life experiences in such a positive way. Despite the long list of my actions and inactions which fell far outside the parameters of what I would recommend to the parents with/for whom I work, I am aware that even if I had the power to change or correct even a few of those decisions my son’s life journey and his wise and empathic approach to his current life dance would be significantly altered. Somehow he has taken all those foothills, mountains and valleys of life and is weaving an amazing tapestry. He and his partner, their two dogs and their cat continue to create a dance which makes his mother and I proud. I am sure his partner’s parents are also be very proud of her.
I must live with my past, current and future decisions. My tapestry is also woven from all these actions and inactions - the consequences of all the decisions I have made and continue to make. I cannot dwell on regrets but I must do the best I can to learn from them and make better decisions today. I remain, as does my son, a work In progress. It is up to all of us to use our experience, strength, and hope to face the fact that part of the overall collective tapestry we have woven is the number of homeless and foster children in the United States and the rest of the world. We may not write books which inspire some of those same young foster children or volunteer to be mentor as does Ms. Hennessey, but we must, I think be accountable for the effects of our past and current decisions. Whether the decisions are to be silent or vocal our dance will have a huge impact. We never know how many lives we touch or who is observing and learning from our positive and negative actions.
One thing I know is that l want to own my own strengths and not downplay or misjudge the strength of others – especially those of young people. Yet, I also do not want to downplay or misjudge the level of pain we can cause ourselves, our children and others.
The reality of the foothills, mountains and valleys calm me just as they challenge me. In many respects, as I rest in the valleys, the mountains nurture me as surely as did the warmth and milk of my mothers breasts. The Buddha would, I think, suggest that I breathe, drop the dualities and be quietly present as I listen to the wisdom of the foothills, mountains and valleys.
Written September 27, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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