Forgive me for being human!
I know that I have written on the subject of being human previously. I could just republish a previous blog, but I always feel a need to tune into my current thinking which may or may not be different. I believe that the 12-step program offers a lot of wisdom on this subject and can benefit all those who are part of the human species.
I love the fact that the 12-step recovery program founded by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob is clear that one needs to be accountable for hurting others even if that behavior occurred when one’s ability to think rationally had been kidnapped by addiction. The 12-step program is also clear that one needs to share that history with another person, make amends except when doing so would cause further harm, and strive to behave more lovingly in the future. The program does not, however:
Clearly the 12-step program does acknowledge that:
Many things can affect one’s ability to think rationally. Certain foods, traumatic events, acute fear or anxiety, mental illness, tumors and other growths or conditions, injury from sports, gunshots or other interruptions of the functioning ability of the brain can affect one’s ability to have cogent thoughts. If one’s brain is not functioning well enough to make decisions which consider the rights and needs of others than forgiveness is not appropriate. Forgiveness implies that someone deliberately ordered up a malfunctioning brain.
Of course, we humans are human and, at times we are going to react instead of acting in our best interest which is, paradoxically, also in the interest of others. There are times when we need to make amends. Hopefully, as we learn to take better care of ourselves and have access to medicine, food, shelter, treatment when needed, and support we are more often able to consider the needs of others. Even then, however, we must lovingly allow for the fact that we are human and be quick to make amends if appropriate and quick to accept - not forgive- our own humanness.
Written January 4, 2018
Jimmy F Pickett
I know that I have written on the subject of being human previously. I could just republish a previous blog, but I always feel a need to tune into my current thinking which may or may not be different. I believe that the 12-step program offers a lot of wisdom on this subject and can benefit all those who are part of the human species.
I love the fact that the 12-step recovery program founded by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob is clear that one needs to be accountable for hurting others even if that behavior occurred when one’s ability to think rationally had been kidnapped by addiction. The 12-step program is also clear that one needs to share that history with another person, make amends except when doing so would cause further harm, and strive to behave more lovingly in the future. The program does not, however:
- Make any attempt to rank order hurtful deeds and, therefore rank order levels of acceptance.
- Suggest that punishment beyond the disconnection which occurs when one hurts another is warranted or deserved.
- Make any distinction between hurting children and adults.
- Make any distinction between sexual and non-sexual hurts.
- Suggest that any person shops for an addictive behavior because one wants to hurt self and others. One may decide to use certain drugs to avoid dealing with life on life’s terms or to deal with physical pain. Not everyone who takes an addictive drug or engages in other addictive behavior becomes addicted.
Clearly the 12-step program does acknowledge that:
- Being human is a chronic state of being but is not a disease!
- Addiction is a chronic illness
- Addiction may not be the only disease on has, but if one has that disease one first has to treat it. That does not eliminate the need to identify and treat other illnesses.
- We need an authentic or genuine connection with ourselves (our body is an interdependent system) and with each other.
- We are all equally capable of loving and hurtful behavior. A friend of mine always reminds newcomers to recovery that one needs to be vigilant less “stinking thinking” take over and one do something such as take addictive drugs which affect brain chemistry and ability to have cogent thoughts.
Many things can affect one’s ability to think rationally. Certain foods, traumatic events, acute fear or anxiety, mental illness, tumors and other growths or conditions, injury from sports, gunshots or other interruptions of the functioning ability of the brain can affect one’s ability to have cogent thoughts. If one’s brain is not functioning well enough to make decisions which consider the rights and needs of others than forgiveness is not appropriate. Forgiveness implies that someone deliberately ordered up a malfunctioning brain.
Of course, we humans are human and, at times we are going to react instead of acting in our best interest which is, paradoxically, also in the interest of others. There are times when we need to make amends. Hopefully, as we learn to take better care of ourselves and have access to medicine, food, shelter, treatment when needed, and support we are more often able to consider the needs of others. Even then, however, we must lovingly allow for the fact that we are human and be quick to make amends if appropriate and quick to accept - not forgive- our own humanness.
Written January 4, 2018
Jimmy F Pickett
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