Forgiveness and Justice

​Forgiveness and justice
 
I have often pondered and written about the concepts of forgiveness and justice.  Humans have considered these two concepts for as long as they have had the luxury of positing and sharing ideas.  Yet, it seems as if our opposing views about the factors which create a just situation or just outcome are so strongly held that we often cannot allow ourselves to forgive.  We know, of course, that forgiveness is largely a gift to oneself.   Holding to anger and resentment is very damaging to one’s health and the health of all whose life the angry or resentful person touches.
 
Our confusion about justice seems to center in the following:
 

• The belief that we can objectively rank order hurt on a continuum.
• The fear or belief that a person will keep repeating hurtful behavior.
• The belief that punishment – physical, emotional, monetary or some combination – will create a safer and/or more just world.
• The belief that most people have brains which allow for free will or intent.
• The belief that an “eye for an eye” will balance the scales and thus create justice.
• The belief that some roles demand one be more perfect than one is, i.e. parent, spiritual leader, teacher, or other person in leadership/authoritative position.
• The belief that there is a shared reality; that two or more brains recorded an event the same.

 
From the vantage point of my life journey I would suggest the reader consider the following possibilities:
 

• Hurt is hurt is hurt.  True, some hurt is more permanent especially that which results in a death, but emotional hurt can acutely affect one’s ability to function.
• It is true that some people will keep repeating behavior.   There are those whose brains are not able to consider how their behavior affect others. Some of those can be successfully treated.
• Punishment does not make one want to be a better person.   Most want to be loving and will change behavior if one has the resources to do so.  Helping one connect the dots – X behavior leads to Y outcome - can be helpful.
• There may, indeed, be times for some when one is able think and act in a manner which carefully considers how said action will affect others.   Often, however, that is not the case. Disease as well as other physical and “emotional” factors have significant effects on how the brain functions. 
• An “eye for an eye” creates two people without eyes. It does not restore sight in one and blind the other.
• Sadly, before one becomes a parent or assumes some other leadership role one is not granted access to the store which issues brains which never ever err and automatically adjust to meet the expectations of others!
• There is very seldom a shared reality.  While 20 people witnessing an accident might agree that indeed two or more cars collided there may well be 20 “accurate” stories of how that accident occurred. We do indeed see with our brain and not our eyes!  Eyes – corrected or not – retrieve the patterns of light, shadow and darkness – but brains which already have many stories stored create a new story.

 
If one could agree on the above one could then move on to forgiveness and then move to make shared educated decisions about how to lovingly, empathically, scientifically reduce or prevent future hurts.   Would we then be able to use the term “just”?  Perhaps not. Perhaps justice is an illusionary or delusional concept which, as is true for the drug addicted or power addicted person, provides only temporary relief - a short term feels good moment.
 
Written June 25, 2018