Forgiveness is common sense
This morning I listened for the second or third time to a Ted talk entitled “What comes after tragedy? Forgiveness.” The talk is given by two men who know tragedy first hand, Azim Khamisa whose son was murdered in a gang initiation rite of passage by the 14 year old grandson of Ples Felix. Both men work to end youth violence and to get Mr. Felix’s grandson out of jail. Neither men deny nor play down the heartbreaking violence which led to their dedication to working for effective change. What both men know intuitively from the results of numerous scientific studies is responding to violence with more violence does not work. Whether the violence is physical, verbal or passive inaction it does not result in less violence.
I was thinking about this later this morning as I was reading accounts of reaction to the outcome of the impeachment trial of President Trump. While I believe that a cogent argument could be made for the constitutionality of impeachment based on the timing of the house action, many legal scholars would agree with me and many would disagree. Obviously many United States Senators disagreed and, thus, voted to not impeach him. I did not agree with the reported and recorded behavior of the then President Trump when his supporters violently assaulted the United States Capital and the personnel working there. I think some members of the United States Congress calling those who voted against impeachment cowards and other degrading names is not going to result in a more effective working relationship among the members.
These United States is not alone among the human family in persisting in holding on to the belief that if one treats those with whom they disagree bad enough positive change will ensue.
All of might agree that it is not good to hurt others; that hurting one hurts all. Yet, many of us persist in believing that our way of hurting others is often justified while that of others is not. Astute observations by most of us and by rigorous scientific study suggest that hurt people hurt people. We can also now document the differences in the areas of the brains of those who are unable to consider the effect of their actions on others and those who are able to experience empathy.
Grandma Fannie and many other wise people have long talked about the pot calling the kettle black. Many of us are quick to criticize or at least bemoan the use of alcohol, drugs, food, sex and other things to give one a temporary high which may adversely affect others. Yet, we are quick to use violent, demeaning language to elicit a temporary high of moral superiority while espousing policies to create a more just, loving community.
I can certainly debate another or present an alternate opinion without demeaning the personhood of another. We know how to teach school age young people to do this and often do it well. Those very same young people can switch sides and present a cogent argument. Obviously, none of us have the answers to the many complex issues which we must address if we are to have a future as a country or even a planet. What we do know is that violence in response to violence does not work. The work of individuals such as Azim Khamisa, Ples Felis, Father Greg Boyle, Sonia Sotomayor, Stacey Abrams and a host of others understand the power of forgiveness and positive alternatives. They could effectively guide all of us in doing our part to create the society which most of us say we want.
Recently in my newly adopted home of Tulsa, Oklahoma when the temperatures plummeted to artic levels many in the community shared resources with the homeless without feeling a need to criticize, name call or otherwise judge or demean them. The focus was on providing warm, safe places to stay while also safeguarding the possessions of those who needed it. We know how to act from a place of love and we know it works.
Written February 15, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
This morning I listened for the second or third time to a Ted talk entitled “What comes after tragedy? Forgiveness.” The talk is given by two men who know tragedy first hand, Azim Khamisa whose son was murdered in a gang initiation rite of passage by the 14 year old grandson of Ples Felix. Both men work to end youth violence and to get Mr. Felix’s grandson out of jail. Neither men deny nor play down the heartbreaking violence which led to their dedication to working for effective change. What both men know intuitively from the results of numerous scientific studies is responding to violence with more violence does not work. Whether the violence is physical, verbal or passive inaction it does not result in less violence.
I was thinking about this later this morning as I was reading accounts of reaction to the outcome of the impeachment trial of President Trump. While I believe that a cogent argument could be made for the constitutionality of impeachment based on the timing of the house action, many legal scholars would agree with me and many would disagree. Obviously many United States Senators disagreed and, thus, voted to not impeach him. I did not agree with the reported and recorded behavior of the then President Trump when his supporters violently assaulted the United States Capital and the personnel working there. I think some members of the United States Congress calling those who voted against impeachment cowards and other degrading names is not going to result in a more effective working relationship among the members.
These United States is not alone among the human family in persisting in holding on to the belief that if one treats those with whom they disagree bad enough positive change will ensue.
All of might agree that it is not good to hurt others; that hurting one hurts all. Yet, many of us persist in believing that our way of hurting others is often justified while that of others is not. Astute observations by most of us and by rigorous scientific study suggest that hurt people hurt people. We can also now document the differences in the areas of the brains of those who are unable to consider the effect of their actions on others and those who are able to experience empathy.
Grandma Fannie and many other wise people have long talked about the pot calling the kettle black. Many of us are quick to criticize or at least bemoan the use of alcohol, drugs, food, sex and other things to give one a temporary high which may adversely affect others. Yet, we are quick to use violent, demeaning language to elicit a temporary high of moral superiority while espousing policies to create a more just, loving community.
I can certainly debate another or present an alternate opinion without demeaning the personhood of another. We know how to teach school age young people to do this and often do it well. Those very same young people can switch sides and present a cogent argument. Obviously, none of us have the answers to the many complex issues which we must address if we are to have a future as a country or even a planet. What we do know is that violence in response to violence does not work. The work of individuals such as Azim Khamisa, Ples Felis, Father Greg Boyle, Sonia Sotomayor, Stacey Abrams and a host of others understand the power of forgiveness and positive alternatives. They could effectively guide all of us in doing our part to create the society which most of us say we want.
Recently in my newly adopted home of Tulsa, Oklahoma when the temperatures plummeted to artic levels many in the community shared resources with the homeless without feeling a need to criticize, name call or otherwise judge or demean them. The focus was on providing warm, safe places to stay while also safeguarding the possessions of those who needed it. We know how to act from a place of love and we know it works.
Written February 15, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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