Gathering – The quick and the dead
Although many associate this phase the quick and the dead with a movie by that name, it is familiar to those Christians or Christian scholars as a phase found in both the Nicence Creed and the Book of Common Prayer. In this context it refers to the time when Christians believe Christ will come to judge the quick (living) and the dead.
On this Memorial Day for those of us who are more mature, the phrase might also remind us of long past Memorial Days when families would gather at the cemetery where a number of other family members were buried. The purpose of the gathering was to:
· Clean the graves of one’s ancestors - deceased loved ones (and perhaps a few who were more lovable in death than they were in life).
· Honor the memory of those same people with flowers and/or grave blankets which had been carefully constructed for weeks prior to Memorial Day.
· Share a meal of fried chicken, potato salad and whatever vegetables might have been available and which did not require any preparation at the cemetery. I do not recall anyone bringing a grill to cook food there.
· Share stories with and about one’s life since the last family gathering with each other as well as stories of times with one’s ancestors.
As far as I know these family Memorial Day gatherings no longer occur. Two of my sisters recently let me know that they had been to the cemetery to clear the graves of some of our ancestors and to add our recently deceased mother’s ashes to those already there. Our mother had made that request. She also requested that there be no service or other ritual either at the funeral home or at the cemetery. Since those two sisters are the only two of the five children of our mother to live near the cemetery they have dutifully and without complaint assumed the responsibility for our ancestors welcome newly resting family members for many years. They also clean the cemeteries. I do not think that they now linger and visit over food. I need to also add they take care of the quick as they took care of our mother until she recently died.
We humans have apparently been honoring our ancestors and the gifts they have given us for a very long time. I personally know that I owe many of my interests, talents, and life lessons the dead buried in that cemetery and those connected to those buried there.
As I think of some of those gifts I am particularly aware of the following:
· My love of reading, music and learning from my Grandmother Pickett.
· My love of the blessings of the earth and ancestors from all the Holman family – Aunt Josie, Uncle Johnny and many others.
· My love of creativity or exploration from my father.
· The courage to reinvent oneself from my mother and some of my paternal and maternal aunts.
· The courage to love unconditionally from my Uncle Harold and Aunt Pleasie.
· A certain swagger as well as a humility to start over from my Grandfather Pickett.
· A love of dance, music and creative energy from my father
· That women could be powerful and the jobs of husbands could be secondary to the professional careers of women.
· That God had a sense of humor.
These are just those gifts which immediately come to mind. Of course, most of us also learned from our ancestors what did not work so well. We may have learned the potency of the hurt which words can cause, the energy which is stolen by hanging on to resentments, the terrible toll of forgetting to nurture relationships, and the fallacy of being able to run from one’s demons.
I also learned that despite dire predictions and potentially catastrophic results that we humans could, as a species, survive wars, the election of very challenged politicians, and natural disasters. I learned firsthand that energy is never created or destroyed but lives on in each new generation. I learned humility is not only possible but necessary and that we may be more than the sins which seems to be so prominently noted by the leaders of certain religious groups.
I am not suggesting that all lessons were learned and practiced by the time I legally became an adult. Many of those lessons were tucked away in the recesses of my cells until called into service or sometimes dragged into service following long awaited realization that attempting the same thing over and over with the same negative results might indeed be a sign of insanity.
One of these days I will make the transition from the quick to the dead. Perhaps memorial day is a good day to think about what gifts I will leave my son, nieces, nephews and others whose lives I touch.
Perhaps the judgment of the quick and the dead takes place daily rather than being a future event. Perhaps in this day of virtual reality we can all gather with the quick and the dead on this Memorial Day. Perhaps we can gather with humility and much gratitude.
Written May 28th, 2016
Although many associate this phase the quick and the dead with a movie by that name, it is familiar to those Christians or Christian scholars as a phase found in both the Nicence Creed and the Book of Common Prayer. In this context it refers to the time when Christians believe Christ will come to judge the quick (living) and the dead.
On this Memorial Day for those of us who are more mature, the phrase might also remind us of long past Memorial Days when families would gather at the cemetery where a number of other family members were buried. The purpose of the gathering was to:
· Clean the graves of one’s ancestors - deceased loved ones (and perhaps a few who were more lovable in death than they were in life).
· Honor the memory of those same people with flowers and/or grave blankets which had been carefully constructed for weeks prior to Memorial Day.
· Share a meal of fried chicken, potato salad and whatever vegetables might have been available and which did not require any preparation at the cemetery. I do not recall anyone bringing a grill to cook food there.
· Share stories with and about one’s life since the last family gathering with each other as well as stories of times with one’s ancestors.
As far as I know these family Memorial Day gatherings no longer occur. Two of my sisters recently let me know that they had been to the cemetery to clear the graves of some of our ancestors and to add our recently deceased mother’s ashes to those already there. Our mother had made that request. She also requested that there be no service or other ritual either at the funeral home or at the cemetery. Since those two sisters are the only two of the five children of our mother to live near the cemetery they have dutifully and without complaint assumed the responsibility for our ancestors welcome newly resting family members for many years. They also clean the cemeteries. I do not think that they now linger and visit over food. I need to also add they take care of the quick as they took care of our mother until she recently died.
We humans have apparently been honoring our ancestors and the gifts they have given us for a very long time. I personally know that I owe many of my interests, talents, and life lessons the dead buried in that cemetery and those connected to those buried there.
As I think of some of those gifts I am particularly aware of the following:
· My love of reading, music and learning from my Grandmother Pickett.
· My love of the blessings of the earth and ancestors from all the Holman family – Aunt Josie, Uncle Johnny and many others.
· My love of creativity or exploration from my father.
· The courage to reinvent oneself from my mother and some of my paternal and maternal aunts.
· The courage to love unconditionally from my Uncle Harold and Aunt Pleasie.
· A certain swagger as well as a humility to start over from my Grandfather Pickett.
· A love of dance, music and creative energy from my father
· That women could be powerful and the jobs of husbands could be secondary to the professional careers of women.
· That God had a sense of humor.
These are just those gifts which immediately come to mind. Of course, most of us also learned from our ancestors what did not work so well. We may have learned the potency of the hurt which words can cause, the energy which is stolen by hanging on to resentments, the terrible toll of forgetting to nurture relationships, and the fallacy of being able to run from one’s demons.
I also learned that despite dire predictions and potentially catastrophic results that we humans could, as a species, survive wars, the election of very challenged politicians, and natural disasters. I learned firsthand that energy is never created or destroyed but lives on in each new generation. I learned humility is not only possible but necessary and that we may be more than the sins which seems to be so prominently noted by the leaders of certain religious groups.
I am not suggesting that all lessons were learned and practiced by the time I legally became an adult. Many of those lessons were tucked away in the recesses of my cells until called into service or sometimes dragged into service following long awaited realization that attempting the same thing over and over with the same negative results might indeed be a sign of insanity.
One of these days I will make the transition from the quick to the dead. Perhaps memorial day is a good day to think about what gifts I will leave my son, nieces, nephews and others whose lives I touch.
Perhaps the judgment of the quick and the dead takes place daily rather than being a future event. Perhaps in this day of virtual reality we can all gather with the quick and the dead on this Memorial Day. Perhaps we can gather with humility and much gratitude.
Written May 28th, 2016
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