Grandma says – Aim for the stars but if you climb too high you may suffer a great fall.
Grandma Fannie frequently reminded me and other children that if we worked hard we could achieve any goal we set. At the same time she was quick to remind us that the goal had to be realistic. I do not, for example, recall her telling me that at 5’ 6” I was likely to become a basketball star. She was a firm believer that we all possess some talents and that it was up to us to explore the nature of those talents and do what needed to be done to ensure that those talents matured.
I can now only assume that she knew that most of us did not possess the multitude of talents that she and many other women in the family seem to possess. It seemed to me that while the men of the family were skilled at building houses, repairing farm equipment and vehicles and a few other tasks, the women were skilled at many of the outside chores as well as the bulk of inside chores. The inside chores consisted of cooking, sewing, writing, social planning, spiritual leadership, and art such as in the design of quilts, lace and many other items which both protected and beautified the home. Women could also make butter, ice cream, and manage the family finances. They might have jobs outside the home – jobs which did not reduce their responsibilities at home. Grandma Fannie was, for a time, a school teacher and later a seamstress. She was also a small business woman who sold eggs, cream, butter, and hand crafted items.
I was vaguely aware that some men were chefs and tailors but these “professions” seem unrelated to “cooking and sewing.” Chefs and tailors were after all well or at least decently paid while cooking and sewing commanded very meager wages.
Grandma Fannie and her sisters seemed to have missed the lessons related to gender limitations and restrictions They were well aware that when “needed” they could “person” the factories but then were expected to return to the home when the men came home from war. They also noted that nothing much was said about the women who came home from the war after serving as members of the WAVES. WACS, WASPS and SPARS (Coast Guard).
Grandma Fannie was certainly aware Eleanor Roosevelt was a female who knew that she could and would accomplish what needed to be done. She was responsible for many of the programs which benefited women, refugees and others.
I cannot speak for my sisters or my brother, but the message I heard was that dreams were not limited by gender, wealth or other factors. The fact that my siblings and I (especially my older sister and I) attended a regional country school was not offered as a reason to limit our dreams.
Climbing too high had less to do with lack of talent and more to do with not adequately preparing. Although I cannot specifically recall reading about Icarus, later I was sure that the moral of this Greek myth was what Grandma Fannie was attempting to teach us. As some readers will recall Icarus was the son of the master craftsperson Daedalus. Icarus and his father attempt to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. Icarus was warned not to fly too high or too low. If he flew too high the sun would melt the wax and if he flew too low the sea’s dampness would clog his wings. Icarus ignored his father’s advice and flew too close to the sun thus causing the wings to melt. (For a brief overview of the story one can google Icarus or go to sites such as Wikipedia. To appreciate the original myths there are many excellent books recounting the most popular Greek myths.)
As is clearly evident the advice to not fly too high or too low was solely related to the construction of the wings and the potential effects of the sun and the sea.
Practice and preparation were words Grandma Fannie delivered along with the advice to aim for the stars. She never once told me I that my aspirations were too high. She surely did remind me that any aspirations had to be consistent with one’s moral values and the willingness to prepare and practice. If, for example, I had suggested that I wanted to be a millionaire by the time I was thirty she would have questioned my motives. Although she was what would now be called a fiscal conservative she did not think that money in and of itself brought happiness or told one anything about the moral value of the person. In fact if I had suggested that money would bring happiness or would prove one’s worth I would have been subjected to a serious “coming to Jesus” lecture.
The same sort of lecture would have been gifted me if I had announced that I was going to become a concert pianist without having to take lessons and practice several hours a day.
Written February 20, 2017
Grandma Fannie frequently reminded me and other children that if we worked hard we could achieve any goal we set. At the same time she was quick to remind us that the goal had to be realistic. I do not, for example, recall her telling me that at 5’ 6” I was likely to become a basketball star. She was a firm believer that we all possess some talents and that it was up to us to explore the nature of those talents and do what needed to be done to ensure that those talents matured.
I can now only assume that she knew that most of us did not possess the multitude of talents that she and many other women in the family seem to possess. It seemed to me that while the men of the family were skilled at building houses, repairing farm equipment and vehicles and a few other tasks, the women were skilled at many of the outside chores as well as the bulk of inside chores. The inside chores consisted of cooking, sewing, writing, social planning, spiritual leadership, and art such as in the design of quilts, lace and many other items which both protected and beautified the home. Women could also make butter, ice cream, and manage the family finances. They might have jobs outside the home – jobs which did not reduce their responsibilities at home. Grandma Fannie was, for a time, a school teacher and later a seamstress. She was also a small business woman who sold eggs, cream, butter, and hand crafted items.
I was vaguely aware that some men were chefs and tailors but these “professions” seem unrelated to “cooking and sewing.” Chefs and tailors were after all well or at least decently paid while cooking and sewing commanded very meager wages.
Grandma Fannie and her sisters seemed to have missed the lessons related to gender limitations and restrictions They were well aware that when “needed” they could “person” the factories but then were expected to return to the home when the men came home from war. They also noted that nothing much was said about the women who came home from the war after serving as members of the WAVES. WACS, WASPS and SPARS (Coast Guard).
Grandma Fannie was certainly aware Eleanor Roosevelt was a female who knew that she could and would accomplish what needed to be done. She was responsible for many of the programs which benefited women, refugees and others.
I cannot speak for my sisters or my brother, but the message I heard was that dreams were not limited by gender, wealth or other factors. The fact that my siblings and I (especially my older sister and I) attended a regional country school was not offered as a reason to limit our dreams.
Climbing too high had less to do with lack of talent and more to do with not adequately preparing. Although I cannot specifically recall reading about Icarus, later I was sure that the moral of this Greek myth was what Grandma Fannie was attempting to teach us. As some readers will recall Icarus was the son of the master craftsperson Daedalus. Icarus and his father attempt to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. Icarus was warned not to fly too high or too low. If he flew too high the sun would melt the wax and if he flew too low the sea’s dampness would clog his wings. Icarus ignored his father’s advice and flew too close to the sun thus causing the wings to melt. (For a brief overview of the story one can google Icarus or go to sites such as Wikipedia. To appreciate the original myths there are many excellent books recounting the most popular Greek myths.)
As is clearly evident the advice to not fly too high or too low was solely related to the construction of the wings and the potential effects of the sun and the sea.
Practice and preparation were words Grandma Fannie delivered along with the advice to aim for the stars. She never once told me I that my aspirations were too high. She surely did remind me that any aspirations had to be consistent with one’s moral values and the willingness to prepare and practice. If, for example, I had suggested that I wanted to be a millionaire by the time I was thirty she would have questioned my motives. Although she was what would now be called a fiscal conservative she did not think that money in and of itself brought happiness or told one anything about the moral value of the person. In fact if I had suggested that money would bring happiness or would prove one’s worth I would have been subjected to a serious “coming to Jesus” lecture.
The same sort of lecture would have been gifted me if I had announced that I was going to become a concert pianist without having to take lessons and practice several hours a day.
Written February 20, 2017
RSS Feed