Grandma says: “Don’t make money your God.”
As was true for many of Grandma’s Fannie’s wise reminders to a young child this one seemed to be very obvious. Even I questioned, at age 5 or 6, if she thought I was that dumb or stupid? I could tell the difference between a quarter and the picture of God in my Sunday School book. Perhaps she needed to remind herself.
As the CFO – Chief Financial Officer - of her family Grandma Fannie seemed to worry a lot about money. More than once I heard her reminding Grandpa Ed that he owed her money. The sum might seem pretty – even to a young child - and yet she insisted that he pay it back. When I was much older I would learn that when they got remarried in 1948 she had him sign a prenuptial agreement even though they did not have much money.
Grandma Fannie had lived through the depression, and later a divorce which left her dependent as far as I know on the tiny income that she earned as a seamstress. (Perhaps she got a modest amount in alimony but I do not know.) Although she had been a school teacher and was exceptionally bright my guess is that she did not have the credentials which were increasingly required. She certainly knew what it was like to be poor. As did many people her age following the depression she never regained her trust in banks.
She knew that one needed a certain amount of money and she did all she could to save and to earn money. Yet, what she wanted us children to understand was that no matter one’s financial status, one’s primary allegiance and devotion should be to one’s moral values. She was clearly aware that, since the beginning of recorded history, it had been easy for humans to make money the primary goal and, thus, the core value which guided one’s behavior. She knew that money and possessions could come and go, but no one could take away one’s spiritual values. One could give away one’s values just as one could be seduced by the temporary power of money, position and possessions. When that happened the attachment to money, position or possessions became one’s god or primary guiding value.
Buddhist teachers with whom I have studied have stated the issues in terms of attachments. One can become attached to the belief that money will buy happiness. One can equate the power associated with money as happiness, contentment or security. When one has an attachment one loses oneself and, thus, one loses one’s connection with one’s heart. Without a heart one cannot be connected to the whole which some refer to as their higher power or God.
Nothing much has changed since Grandma Fannie attempted to teach us children to not make money our God. Us humans continue to lose ourselves as we look to money, possessions, things, achievements, alcohol, other drugs to bring us the happiness and contentment we so powerfully desire. All of these works for a time. Yet, step by step, moment by moment we lose ourselves. All actions which we might otherwise make with our core values – with our heart – we make based on our attachment to our new god or the god de jour.
Once again, I am reminded on this Memorial Day that Grandma Fannie was a deeply spiritual and, thus, wise person who gave us the tools we needed to become the best we could be. It is up to us to daily look within ourselves to recall those lessons and use them as a base for all the decisions we make about how we are going to use our time and energy. At the end of the day or this life journey we are left with the knowledge that we will be remembered for our commitment to moral/spiritual values or we will be remembered for our gilded prison filled with things or bank statements.
Thanks Grandma Fannie.
Written May 29 2017
As was true for many of Grandma’s Fannie’s wise reminders to a young child this one seemed to be very obvious. Even I questioned, at age 5 or 6, if she thought I was that dumb or stupid? I could tell the difference between a quarter and the picture of God in my Sunday School book. Perhaps she needed to remind herself.
As the CFO – Chief Financial Officer - of her family Grandma Fannie seemed to worry a lot about money. More than once I heard her reminding Grandpa Ed that he owed her money. The sum might seem pretty – even to a young child - and yet she insisted that he pay it back. When I was much older I would learn that when they got remarried in 1948 she had him sign a prenuptial agreement even though they did not have much money.
Grandma Fannie had lived through the depression, and later a divorce which left her dependent as far as I know on the tiny income that she earned as a seamstress. (Perhaps she got a modest amount in alimony but I do not know.) Although she had been a school teacher and was exceptionally bright my guess is that she did not have the credentials which were increasingly required. She certainly knew what it was like to be poor. As did many people her age following the depression she never regained her trust in banks.
She knew that one needed a certain amount of money and she did all she could to save and to earn money. Yet, what she wanted us children to understand was that no matter one’s financial status, one’s primary allegiance and devotion should be to one’s moral values. She was clearly aware that, since the beginning of recorded history, it had been easy for humans to make money the primary goal and, thus, the core value which guided one’s behavior. She knew that money and possessions could come and go, but no one could take away one’s spiritual values. One could give away one’s values just as one could be seduced by the temporary power of money, position and possessions. When that happened the attachment to money, position or possessions became one’s god or primary guiding value.
Buddhist teachers with whom I have studied have stated the issues in terms of attachments. One can become attached to the belief that money will buy happiness. One can equate the power associated with money as happiness, contentment or security. When one has an attachment one loses oneself and, thus, one loses one’s connection with one’s heart. Without a heart one cannot be connected to the whole which some refer to as their higher power or God.
Nothing much has changed since Grandma Fannie attempted to teach us children to not make money our God. Us humans continue to lose ourselves as we look to money, possessions, things, achievements, alcohol, other drugs to bring us the happiness and contentment we so powerfully desire. All of these works for a time. Yet, step by step, moment by moment we lose ourselves. All actions which we might otherwise make with our core values – with our heart – we make based on our attachment to our new god or the god de jour.
Once again, I am reminded on this Memorial Day that Grandma Fannie was a deeply spiritual and, thus, wise person who gave us the tools we needed to become the best we could be. It is up to us to daily look within ourselves to recall those lessons and use them as a base for all the decisions we make about how we are going to use our time and energy. At the end of the day or this life journey we are left with the knowledge that we will be remembered for our commitment to moral/spiritual values or we will be remembered for our gilded prison filled with things or bank statements.
Thanks Grandma Fannie.
Written May 29 2017
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