Grandma says: “Get over yourself.”
Of all the little kernels of wisdom which Grandma Fannie shared with her grandkids as well as other children, this was one of the more confusing ones. Grandma Fannie also was always telling us in so many words to get to know ourselves and to be honest with ourselves. The advice to get over ourselves seemed to contradict the other advice. I would be well into my adult years before I began to understand what Grandma Fannie meant. I am now at the stage of growth where I can begin to tackle the graduate school course in getting over myself.
In the undergraduate course in which I was enrolled for many decades I learned:
· I am not the center of the universe. People do not say or engage in activities because of me. While I affect others, I am not the cause of the behavior of others and have no power to change others.
· I do not have to pretend to be wiser or more knowledgeable than I am in an attempt to impress others.
· My secrets “sins” are not unique to me and, thus not very interesting.
· Money, degrees, possessions, muscles, clothes and erudite words are not going to earn me the respect of the God of my understanding nor anyone whose respect is worth having.
· Formal education/book learning does not necessarily equate with wisdom.
· Sometimes it is better to listen than to offer my version of the truth.
· I am not and do not need to try to prove that I am better than or more worthwhile than “the least of these.”
· Judging others is more a reflection of who I am than a statement about others.
· The word Grace refers to love which is freely given. It is not earned
In the graduate course on getting over myself I have been invited to consider:
· My version of social justice is not the only possible version.
· It is easier to be critical than it is to listen.
· Listening is more than hearing which is more than attending to what one expects or even wants to hear.
· Showing up – really showing up – may often be the most powerful action one can take.
· I do not need to try to make others see or accept that the God of my understanding is the one true understanding/construct.
· Either God is more than any human can envision or the very ideal of a God is merely for the temporary comfort of some humans.
· Humans may have much to learn from other animals or other part of nature.
· If one lives to be 100 years old one is still just a tiny blip in the history of the universe(s).
· All wise people know that taking oneself seriously reflects that one is in one’s infancy in spiritual and emotional growth.
· Loving unconditionally is not easy and does not seem to come naturally to us humans.
· Wise people laugh a lot at themselves and all of us as humans. We are amazingly bright, creative, ignorant, stupid, silly creatures.
· Every so-called truth has an opposite truth.
· Graduate school lasts the rest of one’s life journey!
Many of the lessons Grandma Fannie offered were the gifts which slowly unfold over a lifetime. They may be comprised of only a few, simple words but they contained all the wisdom I would find in the words of the great philosophers and other teachers I studied in college. She did not use words such as metaphysical, epistemology or ontological. Yet, she clearly knew these concepts and was wise enough to put them in very simple terms. This is always the mark of a wise person – a great educator.
Perhaps one day I will have gotten over myself enough to allow others, by my actions, to experience the gift of Grandma Fannie.
Written May 15, 1017
Grandma says: “Get over yourself.”
Of all the little kernels of wisdom which Grandma Fannie shared with her grandkids as well as other children, this was one of the more confusing ones. Grandma Fannie also was always telling us in so many words to get to know ourselves and to be honest with ourselves. The advice to get over ourselves seemed to contradict the other advice. I would be well into my adult years before I began to understand what Grandma Fannie meant. I am now at the stage of growth where I can begin to tackle the graduate school course in getting over myself.
In the undergraduate course in which I was enrolled for many decades I learned:
· I am not the center of the universe. People do not say or engage in activities because of me. While I affect others, I am not the cause of the behavior of others and have no power to change others.
· I do not have to pretend to be wiser or more knowledgeable than I am in an attempt to impress others.
· My secrets “sins” are not unique to me and, thus not very interesting.
· Money, degrees, possessions, muscles, clothes and erudite words are not going to earn me the respect of the God of my understanding nor anyone whose respect is worth having.
· Formal education/book learning does not necessarily equate with wisdom.
· Sometimes it is better to listen than to offer my version of the truth.
· I am not and do not need to try to prove that I am better than or more worthwhile than “the least of these.”
· Judging others is more a reflection of who I am than a statement about others.
· The word Grace refers to love which is freely given. It is not earned
In the graduate course on getting over myself I have been invited to consider:
· My version of social justice is not the only possible version.
· It is easier to be critical than it is to listen.
· Listening is more than hearing which is more than attending to what one expects or even wants to hear.
· Showing up – really showing up – may often be the most powerful action one can take.
· I do not need to try to make others see or accept that the God of my understanding is the one true understanding/construct.
· Either God is more than any human can envision or the very ideal of a God is merely for the temporary comfort of some humans.
· Humans may have much to learn from other animals or other part of nature.
· If one lives to be 100 years old one is still just a tiny blip in the history of the universe(s).
· All wise people know that taking oneself seriously reflects that one is in one’s infancy in spiritual and emotional growth.
· Loving unconditionally is not easy and does not seem to come naturally to us humans.
· Wise people laugh a lot at themselves and all of us as humans. We are amazingly bright, creative, ignorant, stupid, silly creatures.
· Every so-called truth has an opposite truth.
· Graduate school lasts the rest of one’s life journey!
Many of the lessons Grandma Fannie offered were the gifts which slowly unfold over a lifetime. They may be comprised of only a few, simple words but they contained all the wisdom I would find in the words of the great philosophers and other teachers I studied in college. She did not use words such as metaphysical, epistemology or ontological. Yet, she clearly knew these concepts and was wise enough to put them in very simple terms. This is always the mark of a wise person – a great educator.
Perhaps one day I will have gotten over myself enough to allow others, by my actions, to experience the gift of Grandma Fannie.
Written May 15, 1017
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