Grandma says: “If God had intended …”
Of all the wisdom which Grandma Fannie shared with the many children, including us grandchildren, who gathered at her house, this was the most all-purpose or generic. It could be whipped out or spewed forth to seemingly cover anything that was uncomfortable, seemed silly or frivolous, or might, in her eyes offend the sensibilities of the pastor and, thus, God. Surely if it offended the pastor who was, after all, the representative of God here on earth it was not something God intended.
Thankfully, Grandma Fannie’s long and fruitful life journey was ended long before cell phones, video games, hook-up apps, and activities such as sexting entered the lives of many young people and adults. One can only imagine Grandma’s reaction if one had been caught playing video games at the dining room table and, thus, not responding to the rather dull and repetitive questions of the host of adults who would gather for Sunday dinner or other events. Thank God she did not live to see tattoos augmenting the beauty of a carefully crafted wedding gown. Nor would she have done well if one had appeared in Church attired in shorts or other costumes which showed off legs, cleavage, and even more. She would have quickly grabbed the offending person, wrapped them in a shawl, covered them with prayers and reminded them that God invented clothes for a reason. She might ask, “Did you not read about Eve and the apple?” Goodness knows what the apple had to do with bare skin, but none of us were going to be dumb enough to ask.
God also did not intend:
· For any adult or child to admit to having sex.
· For the mouth to be used for whining, complaining or any sign of the lack of gratitude.
· For anyone to waste money on alcohol, expensive cars, or anything which was designed to “put on airs.”
· For children to be open their mouths and offer an opinion.
· To waste material which could be used to create quilts, hooked rugs, dish towels or other useful items. After all if God had intended for material and other items to be wasted He would have invented bigger closet or other storage places.
I do not want to give the impression that Grandma Fannie was against new inventions, art, or more effective ways of delivering knowledge. She had an extensive library for one of her economic status, a lovely collection of beautifully made dishes and every new Iris bulb. She was not against planes, the telephone or even television (in moderation). She loved that the Bible was so cheaply available and I think she really appreciated inventions such as the cream separator, indoor plumbing and kitchen equipment which made life a little easier. Yet, she did not abide sloth, waste, laziness of mind, spirit or body, preening, showing off body parts which God intended to be kept hidden from everyone, broken promises, lack of gratitude, bullying (if God had wanted one to bully he would have made sturdier bodies or applied Grace to a select few). Truth be told, it did seem to me that the pastor was convinced that few were deserving of Grace and was the biggest bully of all, but I digress.
If God’s name or being was invoked in everyone’s house as often as it was Grandma’s house, He or She was one busy being. Just drafting and updating lists of what God intended and did not intend must have been a full-time job. I thought it a good thing that God had finished the creation in a mere seven days because keeping the list ahead of the ingenuity of we humans to be creative or engage in behavior which Her/She did not intend was a full time job.
Sadly, my very active mind was not always convinced that Grandma or the pastor was indeed listening to HIM or HER about what HE or SHE intended. I secretly thought that perhaps the rather deep voice of Mrs. Smith, who was invariably using the party telephone line, might have been mistaken for that of HIM or HER.
Personally I am a lot less sure of what God intended. I happen to be particularly fond of many of the technical gadgets although I must admit that they can hijack our lives which I am sure God did not intend. I also am rather fond of some of the tattoo artwork on the bodies of some young people although I am not sure God intended for aging, overweight bodies to display the now faded, unrecognizable designs. I do love all the kitchen gadgets. My stand mixer, food processor, microwave, apple peeler and other kitchen toys are rather efficient and much fun. Yet, I am not convinced that God intended that we should be so focused on the task that we forget to show up while we are performing them.
Goodness me. It does seem as if even this bit of advice so lovingly and frequently offered by Grandma Fannie does force one to slow down and ponder for a bit. I wonder if that sneaky, wise, old woman knew this would happen!
Thanks Grandma Fannie.
Written August 7, 2017
Of all the wisdom which Grandma Fannie shared with the many children, including us grandchildren, who gathered at her house, this was the most all-purpose or generic. It could be whipped out or spewed forth to seemingly cover anything that was uncomfortable, seemed silly or frivolous, or might, in her eyes offend the sensibilities of the pastor and, thus, God. Surely if it offended the pastor who was, after all, the representative of God here on earth it was not something God intended.
Thankfully, Grandma Fannie’s long and fruitful life journey was ended long before cell phones, video games, hook-up apps, and activities such as sexting entered the lives of many young people and adults. One can only imagine Grandma’s reaction if one had been caught playing video games at the dining room table and, thus, not responding to the rather dull and repetitive questions of the host of adults who would gather for Sunday dinner or other events. Thank God she did not live to see tattoos augmenting the beauty of a carefully crafted wedding gown. Nor would she have done well if one had appeared in Church attired in shorts or other costumes which showed off legs, cleavage, and even more. She would have quickly grabbed the offending person, wrapped them in a shawl, covered them with prayers and reminded them that God invented clothes for a reason. She might ask, “Did you not read about Eve and the apple?” Goodness knows what the apple had to do with bare skin, but none of us were going to be dumb enough to ask.
God also did not intend:
· For any adult or child to admit to having sex.
· For the mouth to be used for whining, complaining or any sign of the lack of gratitude.
· For anyone to waste money on alcohol, expensive cars, or anything which was designed to “put on airs.”
· For children to be open their mouths and offer an opinion.
· To waste material which could be used to create quilts, hooked rugs, dish towels or other useful items. After all if God had intended for material and other items to be wasted He would have invented bigger closet or other storage places.
I do not want to give the impression that Grandma Fannie was against new inventions, art, or more effective ways of delivering knowledge. She had an extensive library for one of her economic status, a lovely collection of beautifully made dishes and every new Iris bulb. She was not against planes, the telephone or even television (in moderation). She loved that the Bible was so cheaply available and I think she really appreciated inventions such as the cream separator, indoor plumbing and kitchen equipment which made life a little easier. Yet, she did not abide sloth, waste, laziness of mind, spirit or body, preening, showing off body parts which God intended to be kept hidden from everyone, broken promises, lack of gratitude, bullying (if God had wanted one to bully he would have made sturdier bodies or applied Grace to a select few). Truth be told, it did seem to me that the pastor was convinced that few were deserving of Grace and was the biggest bully of all, but I digress.
If God’s name or being was invoked in everyone’s house as often as it was Grandma’s house, He or She was one busy being. Just drafting and updating lists of what God intended and did not intend must have been a full-time job. I thought it a good thing that God had finished the creation in a mere seven days because keeping the list ahead of the ingenuity of we humans to be creative or engage in behavior which Her/She did not intend was a full time job.
Sadly, my very active mind was not always convinced that Grandma or the pastor was indeed listening to HIM or HER about what HE or SHE intended. I secretly thought that perhaps the rather deep voice of Mrs. Smith, who was invariably using the party telephone line, might have been mistaken for that of HIM or HER.
Personally I am a lot less sure of what God intended. I happen to be particularly fond of many of the technical gadgets although I must admit that they can hijack our lives which I am sure God did not intend. I also am rather fond of some of the tattoo artwork on the bodies of some young people although I am not sure God intended for aging, overweight bodies to display the now faded, unrecognizable designs. I do love all the kitchen gadgets. My stand mixer, food processor, microwave, apple peeler and other kitchen toys are rather efficient and much fun. Yet, I am not convinced that God intended that we should be so focused on the task that we forget to show up while we are performing them.
Goodness me. It does seem as if even this bit of advice so lovingly and frequently offered by Grandma Fannie does force one to slow down and ponder for a bit. I wonder if that sneaky, wise, old woman knew this would happen!
Thanks Grandma Fannie.
Written August 7, 2017
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