Grandma says: “It is not over until it is over.”
Living on the farm in Oklahoma, Grandma Fannie and Grandpa Ed faced the same possibilities which all farmers face. No matter how heathy a crop might look in the beginning of the growing season, they had to accept the fact that disease, drought, too much rain, tornadoes or other “acts of God” could destroy the crops. Even when it seemed as if one could breathe and begin to harvest the crop it may not have been as healthy as it seemed.
As a child I often wondered why any sane person, let alone people as healthy as my grandparents, would choose to take these risks. Fortunately they were not always dependent on either the crops or the farm animals for surviving financially, but I do believe it was a major part of their budget. They loved the farm and all it represented.
Both of them, but especially Grandma Fannie, had perfected the art of putting one foot in front of the other one step at a time no matter what the odds of succeeding or failing. It was very clear to me and others in the family that giving up was never an option. Even if the crops, for some reason, failed, an animal got sick and died, the cow did not produce milk or the chicken did not lay eggs one did not give up. One might indeed be forced at times to decide that their particular chickens were not going to lay eggs, that there would be no potatoes this year or the birds had eaten all the berries before they could be picked, but one went to the alternate plan which was always in place.
When Grandma Fannie said that “It is not over until it is over.” she was not just referring to a particular situation or project, she was referring to all of life.
I was thinking of this yesterday when I was talking to a young man sitting next to me at the Pittsburgh Symphony. This young man is a professional musician who, until recently, had been playing for another major symphony orchestra. He played the bassoon. Obviously to be hired by a professional symphony orchestra one has to have refined their talent to a high degree. Many music lesson and countless hours of practice prepare one for the audition which may have many other very talented applicants. If one is both talented and lucky enough to get the position one has no guarantee for the future. After playing for only five years this young man developed a condition which is not entirely uncommon for the player of a wind instruments, One side of his face became numb. He is now undergoing treatment, including occupational therapy, in hopes that he will again be able to professionally play the bassoon with the symphony. Yet, he is clear that he also needs to consider the possibility that he will not be able to return to playing. Clearly, his first love is playing the Bassoon and yet, as is true for others that I know, he may have to choose another instrument or even another career. This young man seemed determined to do whatever he needs to do to have a good life even if it means choosing a new dream.
As it happens a number of my friends including the one with whom I attended the symphony performance, have had to choose new dreams because of an illness, a death or some other life changing event. Every one of them has faced this challenge with a positive attitude and successfully envisioned and realized a new dream. Some of them, such as my friend Becky, has had to do that a number of times. Yet, giving up is never an option for her. She has changed dreams many times including completely changing careers from head of a school to a full time aunty-mom to her nephew. She is now is in a new phase of her life which includes dealing with both new limitations and new possibilities.
Becky, other friends, and the young man with whom I talked yesterday, all have accepted that giving up is not an option; that it is not over until it is over.
Saturday night, when attending the Wheeling Hall of Fame induction dinner and ceremony, I saw a number of people I know who are facing new physical limitations imposed by age related conditions/changes and yet, to a person, they continue to be passionate about life; to know that their dance is not over. They are not preparing to die. They are preparing to live the phase of their dance of life.
As she aged, Grandma Fannie, made many changes in her life including selling the house that she and Grandpa Ed had built, purchasing a modular home and setting it up next to my sister Bonnie. This strong, independent woman continued to live independently, but with some help. She also continued to read, to learn a new word and day and to write letters. In fact I received a letter from her the week after she died.
I, too, have had the opportunity to make new choices as life events have closed some doors and opened others. Ever time I face such choices I Grandma Fannie is right there reminding me that “It is not done until it is done.” The dance may change but it goes on. Giving up is simply not an option or one that I would wish to be an option.
Thanks Grandma Fannie
Written June 5, 2017
Living on the farm in Oklahoma, Grandma Fannie and Grandpa Ed faced the same possibilities which all farmers face. No matter how heathy a crop might look in the beginning of the growing season, they had to accept the fact that disease, drought, too much rain, tornadoes or other “acts of God” could destroy the crops. Even when it seemed as if one could breathe and begin to harvest the crop it may not have been as healthy as it seemed.
As a child I often wondered why any sane person, let alone people as healthy as my grandparents, would choose to take these risks. Fortunately they were not always dependent on either the crops or the farm animals for surviving financially, but I do believe it was a major part of their budget. They loved the farm and all it represented.
Both of them, but especially Grandma Fannie, had perfected the art of putting one foot in front of the other one step at a time no matter what the odds of succeeding or failing. It was very clear to me and others in the family that giving up was never an option. Even if the crops, for some reason, failed, an animal got sick and died, the cow did not produce milk or the chicken did not lay eggs one did not give up. One might indeed be forced at times to decide that their particular chickens were not going to lay eggs, that there would be no potatoes this year or the birds had eaten all the berries before they could be picked, but one went to the alternate plan which was always in place.
When Grandma Fannie said that “It is not over until it is over.” she was not just referring to a particular situation or project, she was referring to all of life.
I was thinking of this yesterday when I was talking to a young man sitting next to me at the Pittsburgh Symphony. This young man is a professional musician who, until recently, had been playing for another major symphony orchestra. He played the bassoon. Obviously to be hired by a professional symphony orchestra one has to have refined their talent to a high degree. Many music lesson and countless hours of practice prepare one for the audition which may have many other very talented applicants. If one is both talented and lucky enough to get the position one has no guarantee for the future. After playing for only five years this young man developed a condition which is not entirely uncommon for the player of a wind instruments, One side of his face became numb. He is now undergoing treatment, including occupational therapy, in hopes that he will again be able to professionally play the bassoon with the symphony. Yet, he is clear that he also needs to consider the possibility that he will not be able to return to playing. Clearly, his first love is playing the Bassoon and yet, as is true for others that I know, he may have to choose another instrument or even another career. This young man seemed determined to do whatever he needs to do to have a good life even if it means choosing a new dream.
As it happens a number of my friends including the one with whom I attended the symphony performance, have had to choose new dreams because of an illness, a death or some other life changing event. Every one of them has faced this challenge with a positive attitude and successfully envisioned and realized a new dream. Some of them, such as my friend Becky, has had to do that a number of times. Yet, giving up is never an option for her. She has changed dreams many times including completely changing careers from head of a school to a full time aunty-mom to her nephew. She is now is in a new phase of her life which includes dealing with both new limitations and new possibilities.
Becky, other friends, and the young man with whom I talked yesterday, all have accepted that giving up is not an option; that it is not over until it is over.
Saturday night, when attending the Wheeling Hall of Fame induction dinner and ceremony, I saw a number of people I know who are facing new physical limitations imposed by age related conditions/changes and yet, to a person, they continue to be passionate about life; to know that their dance is not over. They are not preparing to die. They are preparing to live the phase of their dance of life.
As she aged, Grandma Fannie, made many changes in her life including selling the house that she and Grandpa Ed had built, purchasing a modular home and setting it up next to my sister Bonnie. This strong, independent woman continued to live independently, but with some help. She also continued to read, to learn a new word and day and to write letters. In fact I received a letter from her the week after she died.
I, too, have had the opportunity to make new choices as life events have closed some doors and opened others. Ever time I face such choices I Grandma Fannie is right there reminding me that “It is not done until it is done.” The dance may change but it goes on. Giving up is simply not an option or one that I would wish to be an option.
Thanks Grandma Fannie
Written June 5, 2017
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