Grandma says: “You will reap the seeds you sow.”
I am not sure what triggered the memory of this saying of my grandmother. At first glance it seems just another way of saying “one year’s weeds, another year’s seeds” about which I have previously written. Yet it is also in line with my thinking about the need to do some emotional and spiritual cleaning which I discussed in the recent blog about how I will use the 12 steps to guide me in my spiritual growth this year.
My second thought as I allowed the memory of this saying to meld with my memory of Grandma Fannie was “How can you say that Grandma?” When you worked as a seamstress you did not get paid the same as a male tailor. Surely you are not saying that all those people who lost family members and all their possessions in floods or earthquakes got what they deserved. How come some people seem to make a lot of money no matter how they treat people and people like you who work really hard and are extremely smart make so little? What about children who get cancer and die? What seeds did they sow that they reaped and dies? What about their parents? If we reaped what we sow life would be fair.
Grandma would smile. Sometimes she would be busy and say, “You will understand when you get older.” Other times she would patiently begin to read a Bible passage or she would pull out the encyclopedias and read about Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, or some other person she admired. She would ask, “Do you really think that God is impressed with big houses, cars, and other things that money can buy? God remembers what we think of when we think of people such as Abraham Lincoln who did not let depression and personal loss keep them from doing what they believed was right. What do we remember about Jesus” I might respond: Every time I go to church there is a cross Sometimes there is Jesus hanging on the cross. Did he reap what he sowed?
Grandma might just smile and say, “Oh child, it seems like Jesus got the opposite of what he sowed. It seems as if a lot of famous people got the opposite of what they deserved. Yet, what is the one thing the lives of these people taught us?”
I would likely reply: I don’t know. Seems as if they taught us that the bad people win no matter what grandma.
“What they taught us was that no matter what no one could keep them from being who they are. You know what I say when you say you did something because so and so ‘made’ you do it?”
Yeah Grandma I know but you are not there getting beat up if you do not do what they say.
“Yes, child, that is not easy and it is often frightening. How do you feel if you beat up someone else just because the bullies told you to?”
I feel really bad.
“How do you feel if you are kind to someone?”
I feel good. So are you saying that we can sow kindness and other good things and we will feel good inside?
“That is very good Jim.”
But grandma it does not seem as if the bullies feel bad when they know no one will do anything if they beat me up.
“Yes, it seems that way and temporarily that is true. For a minute the bully puffs out his chest and feels really good. On the other hand the bully will never have that good feeling.”
Grandma, the preacher says we will get our reward in heaven. Why do we have to wait until heaven?
And, thus, the conversation would go on until some farm or family chore demanded more of Grandma’s attention. Periodically she would again remind me that “You reap the seeds you sow.” usually in response to the fact that I had not done my best on a test because I had not studied as much as I should have, or I had spent the quarters she periodically gave us and did not save up for something more expensive that I wanted. What pleased her most that was I would feel so bad when I did something I knew I was not proud of.
Now, many years later when I am much older than she was when she was given the gift of being a grandmother, I am learning that all that counts is, for today, my brain is functioning well enough to remind me that all that really matters is that I have a set of core values which give a ‘shout out” when I do or even consider doing something which violates those values. Of course, there are the times when I do not think through some action and directly or indirectly inflict damage on the person or my relationship with myself and the person. Then there are the times when I have to more closely examine my core values. For example, is it always wrong to kill? What about a sick person deciding the time and place of their death? What about stopping someone from abusing a young child? What about stopping a terrorist act and saving the lives of many others?
The “sin” of arrogance – of thinking I and I alone have the ear of the God of my understanding – is one which visits more often than I would like to admit. Then there is the “sin” of assuming that everyone has a brain which allows them to make what I consider moral decisions – of considering how their behavior affects others.
The good news is that I have much to learn and that Grandma Fannie is every patient. She seems not to mind that she has to keep telling me the same lessons over and over again.
Written January 2, 2017
I am not sure what triggered the memory of this saying of my grandmother. At first glance it seems just another way of saying “one year’s weeds, another year’s seeds” about which I have previously written. Yet it is also in line with my thinking about the need to do some emotional and spiritual cleaning which I discussed in the recent blog about how I will use the 12 steps to guide me in my spiritual growth this year.
My second thought as I allowed the memory of this saying to meld with my memory of Grandma Fannie was “How can you say that Grandma?” When you worked as a seamstress you did not get paid the same as a male tailor. Surely you are not saying that all those people who lost family members and all their possessions in floods or earthquakes got what they deserved. How come some people seem to make a lot of money no matter how they treat people and people like you who work really hard and are extremely smart make so little? What about children who get cancer and die? What seeds did they sow that they reaped and dies? What about their parents? If we reaped what we sow life would be fair.
Grandma would smile. Sometimes she would be busy and say, “You will understand when you get older.” Other times she would patiently begin to read a Bible passage or she would pull out the encyclopedias and read about Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, or some other person she admired. She would ask, “Do you really think that God is impressed with big houses, cars, and other things that money can buy? God remembers what we think of when we think of people such as Abraham Lincoln who did not let depression and personal loss keep them from doing what they believed was right. What do we remember about Jesus” I might respond: Every time I go to church there is a cross Sometimes there is Jesus hanging on the cross. Did he reap what he sowed?
Grandma might just smile and say, “Oh child, it seems like Jesus got the opposite of what he sowed. It seems as if a lot of famous people got the opposite of what they deserved. Yet, what is the one thing the lives of these people taught us?”
I would likely reply: I don’t know. Seems as if they taught us that the bad people win no matter what grandma.
“What they taught us was that no matter what no one could keep them from being who they are. You know what I say when you say you did something because so and so ‘made’ you do it?”
Yeah Grandma I know but you are not there getting beat up if you do not do what they say.
“Yes, child, that is not easy and it is often frightening. How do you feel if you beat up someone else just because the bullies told you to?”
I feel really bad.
“How do you feel if you are kind to someone?”
I feel good. So are you saying that we can sow kindness and other good things and we will feel good inside?
“That is very good Jim.”
But grandma it does not seem as if the bullies feel bad when they know no one will do anything if they beat me up.
“Yes, it seems that way and temporarily that is true. For a minute the bully puffs out his chest and feels really good. On the other hand the bully will never have that good feeling.”
Grandma, the preacher says we will get our reward in heaven. Why do we have to wait until heaven?
And, thus, the conversation would go on until some farm or family chore demanded more of Grandma’s attention. Periodically she would again remind me that “You reap the seeds you sow.” usually in response to the fact that I had not done my best on a test because I had not studied as much as I should have, or I had spent the quarters she periodically gave us and did not save up for something more expensive that I wanted. What pleased her most that was I would feel so bad when I did something I knew I was not proud of.
Now, many years later when I am much older than she was when she was given the gift of being a grandmother, I am learning that all that counts is, for today, my brain is functioning well enough to remind me that all that really matters is that I have a set of core values which give a ‘shout out” when I do or even consider doing something which violates those values. Of course, there are the times when I do not think through some action and directly or indirectly inflict damage on the person or my relationship with myself and the person. Then there are the times when I have to more closely examine my core values. For example, is it always wrong to kill? What about a sick person deciding the time and place of their death? What about stopping someone from abusing a young child? What about stopping a terrorist act and saving the lives of many others?
The “sin” of arrogance – of thinking I and I alone have the ear of the God of my understanding – is one which visits more often than I would like to admit. Then there is the “sin” of assuming that everyone has a brain which allows them to make what I consider moral decisions – of considering how their behavior affects others.
The good news is that I have much to learn and that Grandma Fannie is every patient. She seems not to mind that she has to keep telling me the same lessons over and over again.
Written January 2, 2017
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