If only…
One of the topics what many of us have to visit many times in our life journey is the fact that, at times, life not only seems unfair, but, in fact, on the surface is very unfair. Many of us pick up, learn or conjure up the belief that fairness is the result of good deeds/moral behavior x n. I am sure that most of us during our life journey have been exposed to the message that “He/She got what they deserved.” or “What did they expect would happen?” Just in case one’s just rewards or punishments do not seem apparent in this life journey we can assure each other that one will be rewarded or punished in some version of heaven or hell. If one has fully internalized this belief and, despite one’s awesome, righteous behavior one still experience major negative events than one is angry and resentful. One then has to shop for the perfect victim costume. With any luck, the costume comes in various shades of black or perhaps camouflage so that one always has one which portrays for all world to see the fact that either the God of one’s understanding or the big universal computer which tracks good and bad deeds and perhaps even thoughts has gotten confused or malfunctioned. No matter whether it the universal computer or the God of one’s understanding who is responsible something needs to change now.
The words fairness and justice may often be used interchangeably. If the God of one’s understanding or the universal computer has malfunctioned, then it is up to the human legal system to restore the balance one has the right to expect. Thus, very often one can read in the newspaper a quote by a relative of someone who was killed, injured or otherwise harmed in some way that justice would not be served unless the offending person is sent to prison for life or perhaps sentenced to die.
This concept of justice that many of us learn is retributive. Punishment is a key component of this form of justice. Often the purpose is punishment for punishment sake. This is not about lovingly helping someone to choose a different path. This is about them getting what they deserve and, thus, restoring balance. When “excuses” are made for the offender one is righteously angry.
If one is lucky, one soon learns that life shows up no matter what one does or does not do. If one has a set of carefully thought out moral values one allows those to be one’s behavioral guide and one achieves internal peace from the resulting behavior. One is grateful that one’s brain is working well enough to allow one to make these choices. The brains of others may not be able to work in this manner. Others may not be able to behave in a manner which is consistent with one’s value system. One knows, for example that depression, addiction, autism and many other diseases and conditions affect the functioning of one’s brain. One also knows that other diseases, forces of nature and accidents happen to oneself or a family member. One knows that all those who live long enough will begin to lose physical and/or mental functioning. This is the human condition. In fact, it is the nature of us humans to be very imperfect. All sorts of factors affect our thought process and, thus, our behavior. Added to that the universe does not take into consideration how its interactive behavior is affecting each of us in the short term.
If one is not lucky in this manner one holds on to anger and resentment until certain individuals, systems or the universe behaves in a manner which is consistent with our expectations that life will be fair/just. Of course, this never happens long term and, thus, one is free to hold on to the belief that other people, places and events are the cause of one’s misery. This is a very miserable state for the individuals and anyone whose life they touch.
If one stands back and closely examines one’s thought process one may come in direct contact with one’s expectations and beliefs about fairness and justice. One may have picked those up, accepted the gift of them or otherwise acquired them without any examination of whether they were based on solid evidence. Part of our adult job of spiritual or moral development may be to take out those expectations/beliefs one by one and more objectively examine them. If one of those expectations is that one will be externally rewarded for “good” behavior one may want to consider the possibility that one can gain satisfaction and even happiness from doing the next right thing because it is the next right thing regardless of what others or the universe does or does not do.
Written July 1, 2017
One of the topics what many of us have to visit many times in our life journey is the fact that, at times, life not only seems unfair, but, in fact, on the surface is very unfair. Many of us pick up, learn or conjure up the belief that fairness is the result of good deeds/moral behavior x n. I am sure that most of us during our life journey have been exposed to the message that “He/She got what they deserved.” or “What did they expect would happen?” Just in case one’s just rewards or punishments do not seem apparent in this life journey we can assure each other that one will be rewarded or punished in some version of heaven or hell. If one has fully internalized this belief and, despite one’s awesome, righteous behavior one still experience major negative events than one is angry and resentful. One then has to shop for the perfect victim costume. With any luck, the costume comes in various shades of black or perhaps camouflage so that one always has one which portrays for all world to see the fact that either the God of one’s understanding or the big universal computer which tracks good and bad deeds and perhaps even thoughts has gotten confused or malfunctioned. No matter whether it the universal computer or the God of one’s understanding who is responsible something needs to change now.
The words fairness and justice may often be used interchangeably. If the God of one’s understanding or the universal computer has malfunctioned, then it is up to the human legal system to restore the balance one has the right to expect. Thus, very often one can read in the newspaper a quote by a relative of someone who was killed, injured or otherwise harmed in some way that justice would not be served unless the offending person is sent to prison for life or perhaps sentenced to die.
This concept of justice that many of us learn is retributive. Punishment is a key component of this form of justice. Often the purpose is punishment for punishment sake. This is not about lovingly helping someone to choose a different path. This is about them getting what they deserve and, thus, restoring balance. When “excuses” are made for the offender one is righteously angry.
If one is lucky, one soon learns that life shows up no matter what one does or does not do. If one has a set of carefully thought out moral values one allows those to be one’s behavioral guide and one achieves internal peace from the resulting behavior. One is grateful that one’s brain is working well enough to allow one to make these choices. The brains of others may not be able to work in this manner. Others may not be able to behave in a manner which is consistent with one’s value system. One knows, for example that depression, addiction, autism and many other diseases and conditions affect the functioning of one’s brain. One also knows that other diseases, forces of nature and accidents happen to oneself or a family member. One knows that all those who live long enough will begin to lose physical and/or mental functioning. This is the human condition. In fact, it is the nature of us humans to be very imperfect. All sorts of factors affect our thought process and, thus, our behavior. Added to that the universe does not take into consideration how its interactive behavior is affecting each of us in the short term.
If one is not lucky in this manner one holds on to anger and resentment until certain individuals, systems or the universe behaves in a manner which is consistent with our expectations that life will be fair/just. Of course, this never happens long term and, thus, one is free to hold on to the belief that other people, places and events are the cause of one’s misery. This is a very miserable state for the individuals and anyone whose life they touch.
If one stands back and closely examines one’s thought process one may come in direct contact with one’s expectations and beliefs about fairness and justice. One may have picked those up, accepted the gift of them or otherwise acquired them without any examination of whether they were based on solid evidence. Part of our adult job of spiritual or moral development may be to take out those expectations/beliefs one by one and more objectively examine them. If one of those expectations is that one will be externally rewarded for “good” behavior one may want to consider the possibility that one can gain satisfaction and even happiness from doing the next right thing because it is the next right thing regardless of what others or the universe does or does not do.
Written July 1, 2017
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