Intentional misfit -
Choosing to not be a team player
During a conversation with a friend of mine I recalled the first time I was able to accept responsibility for choosing to not be a team player. The occasion was a reference letter I had asked a respected colleague to write. When I got a copy of the letter I was initially hurt and insulted. In the letter she had listed my professional and personal qualities she believed made me a good therapist. One of those stated qualities was the fact that I was not a good team player. When I talked to her, she reminded me that, as a clinician, I always put the needs of the clients first even if doing so violated a written or “understood” policy of the agency for which we worked. In fact if I thought the needs of the client superseded the stated professional ethics the needs of the client remained my priority. Obviously, I had to admit that I was choosing to be a misfit. In fact I had to admit that I had spent a lifetime believing it was immoral to put country, school, church or allegiance to any organization primary in my life. I never believed that my school, country or employer was superior to all others. I never believed that any action which would profit me or someone else at the expense of another person could be right or moral. Of course, I knew that sometimes two positive goals or desired outcomes might conflict and one has to make a tough decision.
I suppose I always had some awareness that I was choosing to not fit in or be a team player, but it was not until my colleague put it in writing that I was forced to openly take responsibility for my choices.
I sometimes say that I would like to believe that I would not violate my core beliefs for any amount of money. Yet, I was and am well aware that no one has ever offered me a significant amount of money to test my resolve. I am lucky in that respect although I have no way of knowing for sure If I there is an amount which would tempt me.
I am also aware that there are those who justify racism, sexism, homophobia, and other violent behavior by claiming they are obeying God’s law or some core moral code. One has to be careful about claiming that one knows what is right or wrong especially when one’s beliefs posits that the needs or desires of one person or group supersedes the needs or desires of another person or group. Many individuals and groups have used religion or their belief that they and only they have access to “the will of God” to justify inflicting harm – even death- on others.
If I choose to test out my beliefs with others whose opinion I respect, to engage in a respectful debate with professional ethicists or even the members of my tribe and family, I must always start with the principle of the null hypotheses. That is, I must begin with positing the opposite of what I want to be true. I must then be open to new information which may contradict my beliefs.
The danger, of course, is that one can choose to be a misfit or not be a team player just to prove a point and not because one can present a cogent argument for behavior which does make the survival of an organization primary. One can also just be a generally unhappy person and take out frustration by deliberately disobeying rules or procedures. This is the behavior of a teenager who is appropriately experimenting with his or her wings. It is not the behavior of a healthy adult who is acting on the basis of a moral code which considers the well-being of all other humans.
When I choose a misfit stance I must not be surprised when an organization or the representatives of an organization notices and acts accordingly. I need to own and be proud of my behavior. I must also, when possible, have a backup plan. If I am going to risk losing my income or association with a group it would be good to know I am willing and able to live with the consequences.
Written July 13, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Choosing to not be a team player
During a conversation with a friend of mine I recalled the first time I was able to accept responsibility for choosing to not be a team player. The occasion was a reference letter I had asked a respected colleague to write. When I got a copy of the letter I was initially hurt and insulted. In the letter she had listed my professional and personal qualities she believed made me a good therapist. One of those stated qualities was the fact that I was not a good team player. When I talked to her, she reminded me that, as a clinician, I always put the needs of the clients first even if doing so violated a written or “understood” policy of the agency for which we worked. In fact if I thought the needs of the client superseded the stated professional ethics the needs of the client remained my priority. Obviously, I had to admit that I was choosing to be a misfit. In fact I had to admit that I had spent a lifetime believing it was immoral to put country, school, church or allegiance to any organization primary in my life. I never believed that my school, country or employer was superior to all others. I never believed that any action which would profit me or someone else at the expense of another person could be right or moral. Of course, I knew that sometimes two positive goals or desired outcomes might conflict and one has to make a tough decision.
I suppose I always had some awareness that I was choosing to not fit in or be a team player, but it was not until my colleague put it in writing that I was forced to openly take responsibility for my choices.
I sometimes say that I would like to believe that I would not violate my core beliefs for any amount of money. Yet, I was and am well aware that no one has ever offered me a significant amount of money to test my resolve. I am lucky in that respect although I have no way of knowing for sure If I there is an amount which would tempt me.
I am also aware that there are those who justify racism, sexism, homophobia, and other violent behavior by claiming they are obeying God’s law or some core moral code. One has to be careful about claiming that one knows what is right or wrong especially when one’s beliefs posits that the needs or desires of one person or group supersedes the needs or desires of another person or group. Many individuals and groups have used religion or their belief that they and only they have access to “the will of God” to justify inflicting harm – even death- on others.
If I choose to test out my beliefs with others whose opinion I respect, to engage in a respectful debate with professional ethicists or even the members of my tribe and family, I must always start with the principle of the null hypotheses. That is, I must begin with positing the opposite of what I want to be true. I must then be open to new information which may contradict my beliefs.
The danger, of course, is that one can choose to be a misfit or not be a team player just to prove a point and not because one can present a cogent argument for behavior which does make the survival of an organization primary. One can also just be a generally unhappy person and take out frustration by deliberately disobeying rules or procedures. This is the behavior of a teenager who is appropriately experimenting with his or her wings. It is not the behavior of a healthy adult who is acting on the basis of a moral code which considers the well-being of all other humans.
When I choose a misfit stance I must not be surprised when an organization or the representatives of an organization notices and acts accordingly. I need to own and be proud of my behavior. I must also, when possible, have a backup plan. If I am going to risk losing my income or association with a group it would be good to know I am willing and able to live with the consequences.
Written July 13, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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