Is it fun yet?
Often when doing some boring, tedious task, membesr of a group will jokingly ask each other, “Is it fun yet?” Depending on their mood, others might respond with an equally sardonic or sarcastic tone. The question may morph into, “When do I begin to have fun or when does this activity become fun?” if we are very lucky, as children and young people, we learn the value of working hard until we can experience the joy of attaining a goal. Whether it is the result of endless hours of screeching on the violin, pitching thousands of baseballs which refuse to follow the path we intended, writing the first terrible 20 drafts of a poem or story, or any number of other tasks, it often seems as if one will never, ever, reach one’s goal. Yet, if one is persistent one day one picks up the bow and the violin, plays those first notes and are amazed to hear music for the first time. Once someone experiences this magic, one becomes a believer and will endure any amount of future screeching to experience music.
In the 12-step program, one hears a similar reminder, “Don’t give up just before the miracle.”
Often if one is working on recovery from active addiction it seems as if the obsession to use or engage in other addictive behavior will never end. Yet, if one hangs in there, one day one gets up and at some point, notices that they are not obsessing. The miracle has arrived.
Anyone who has gotten proficient at a skill knows that one has to challenge oneself to reach a new level of proficiency. If one does not, one finds oneself losing the proficiency one had gained. Whether the skill is carpentry, writing, playing a musical instrument, cooking or some other one can easily be reminded that one has to “use it or lose it”.
Some of us, if not careful, allow our fear of failure to prevent us from taking the next step toward another level of skill or growth. Even if we have lived a long time and achieved many goals, we probably will become anxious and, if not careful, will allow the anxiety to take charge.
We may begin to play the “what if” game and think of all that could go wrong.
I listen to writers, actors and other creative people who were successful only after learning the fine art of dealing with rejection. I smiled this morning when listening to the author Chaya Bhuvaneswar when talking with the host of the podcast Giant Panda, Jamie Pickett, state that in order to be published one has to submit material to publishers. Many authors are able to paper their entire living room with rejection letters before some publisher takes the risk of publishing their material. It can be easy to convince oneself that one rejection letter, one bad review, one harsh critique, or a dozen failed attempts to achieve that new goal is a reason to stop trying or give up on a dream. Whether one is 18, 30, 50 or 90 if we stop setting and working towards new goals we will die. We may or may not be technically alive but our spirit will be dead and just waiting for the official death certificate.
My experience is that no matter how many risks we take it never gets easy or comfortable to set and work toward a new goal. The anxiety may still feel just as fresh as it was when we, as an infant, took that first step. Yet, we first learned to crawl, then walk, and finally to run. We can do it. The only real failure is to allow the fear of rejection or failure to keep us from setting and achieving that new goal. We are all much stronger than our fear. The miracles are just ahead. We might as well have fun on the road to the miracle.
Written August 13, 2018
Often when doing some boring, tedious task, membesr of a group will jokingly ask each other, “Is it fun yet?” Depending on their mood, others might respond with an equally sardonic or sarcastic tone. The question may morph into, “When do I begin to have fun or when does this activity become fun?” if we are very lucky, as children and young people, we learn the value of working hard until we can experience the joy of attaining a goal. Whether it is the result of endless hours of screeching on the violin, pitching thousands of baseballs which refuse to follow the path we intended, writing the first terrible 20 drafts of a poem or story, or any number of other tasks, it often seems as if one will never, ever, reach one’s goal. Yet, if one is persistent one day one picks up the bow and the violin, plays those first notes and are amazed to hear music for the first time. Once someone experiences this magic, one becomes a believer and will endure any amount of future screeching to experience music.
In the 12-step program, one hears a similar reminder, “Don’t give up just before the miracle.”
Often if one is working on recovery from active addiction it seems as if the obsession to use or engage in other addictive behavior will never end. Yet, if one hangs in there, one day one gets up and at some point, notices that they are not obsessing. The miracle has arrived.
Anyone who has gotten proficient at a skill knows that one has to challenge oneself to reach a new level of proficiency. If one does not, one finds oneself losing the proficiency one had gained. Whether the skill is carpentry, writing, playing a musical instrument, cooking or some other one can easily be reminded that one has to “use it or lose it”.
Some of us, if not careful, allow our fear of failure to prevent us from taking the next step toward another level of skill or growth. Even if we have lived a long time and achieved many goals, we probably will become anxious and, if not careful, will allow the anxiety to take charge.
We may begin to play the “what if” game and think of all that could go wrong.
I listen to writers, actors and other creative people who were successful only after learning the fine art of dealing with rejection. I smiled this morning when listening to the author Chaya Bhuvaneswar when talking with the host of the podcast Giant Panda, Jamie Pickett, state that in order to be published one has to submit material to publishers. Many authors are able to paper their entire living room with rejection letters before some publisher takes the risk of publishing their material. It can be easy to convince oneself that one rejection letter, one bad review, one harsh critique, or a dozen failed attempts to achieve that new goal is a reason to stop trying or give up on a dream. Whether one is 18, 30, 50 or 90 if we stop setting and working towards new goals we will die. We may or may not be technically alive but our spirit will be dead and just waiting for the official death certificate.
My experience is that no matter how many risks we take it never gets easy or comfortable to set and work toward a new goal. The anxiety may still feel just as fresh as it was when we, as an infant, took that first step. Yet, we first learned to crawl, then walk, and finally to run. We can do it. The only real failure is to allow the fear of rejection or failure to keep us from setting and achieving that new goal. We are all much stronger than our fear. The miracles are just ahead. We might as well have fun on the road to the miracle.
Written August 13, 2018
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