Know thyself
Most of us would like to think that we are pretty flexible; that we are open to change; open to new ideas , new situations and now opportunities. Yet, we may find that we are a lot more fixed and rigid in our thinking than we wanted to believe.
In fact, we may have many preconceptions of who we are or what others experience when they interact with us. We may think we are kind and patient most of the time; that we are skilled at remembering that other people have issues and schedules which affect us but which have nothing to do with us. We may like to think that we know that our way of thinking is not the right way and that we are open to hearing what others think is right and the truth. We may even like to think that we a team player and open to team decisions.
Other people may let us know that their experience of us is very different than how we experience ourselves. We may find, for example, that many others experience us as controlling, rigid, demanding and as one who expects to be the center of the universe. We may find that some others experience us as conditional in our love and acceptance. We may also find out that others experience us as much kinder than we give ourselves credit for.
Spiritual and emotional growth demands that we open ourselves to looking at ourselves through the eyes of our partner, children, co-workers and others who interact with us. Our intentions may have been to be that ideal person we had hoped and imagined that we could be. The ideal person who lives in our head may have been trapped by fear, old trauma, lies about what it means to be a strong, capable person, or other shields. Freeing that ideal person will require that we face all those unresolved feelings as well as identify and correct the lies we may have internalized about how we are or should be as a human. We may have learned to believe that we are a person without emotions who does not need the love of others. We may have told ourselves that our experience in combat did not leave any scars. We may have told ourselves that we have forgiven the person who sexually abused us and find our way of dealing with that abuse was to convince ourselves that we are asexual and do not want or need a romantic relationship.
We may have told ourselves we are non-violent while blaming others for our vile, violent temper. We may also tell ourselves that verbal is just words.
Very few of us, if any, ever consciously and deliberately decided to lie to ourselves. We may, however, tell ourselves that we just cannot deal with some aspect of ourselves or some situation. We may invent a new version of reality to cover up the one we think we cannot face. We probably do not label it a lie but a lie it is no matter how nicely we dress it up. If we tell ourselves a new reality enough times we may begin to believe the lie.
Philosophers, theologians and wise teacher have suggested that that we “know ourselves” if we are to become the person we want to be; if we want to be in the process of becoming that person.
It may seem as if it takes great courage to get to know ourselves and, in fact, in some ways it does. It is only by getting to know the good, bad and ugly parts of our humanness that we can make the choice to be free to be our best selves which, in turn, allows us to assume our sacred place in the whole which some choose to call God, I am, the divine or just the whole.
Jimmy F Pickett
June 19, 2019
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
Most of us would like to think that we are pretty flexible; that we are open to change; open to new ideas , new situations and now opportunities. Yet, we may find that we are a lot more fixed and rigid in our thinking than we wanted to believe.
In fact, we may have many preconceptions of who we are or what others experience when they interact with us. We may think we are kind and patient most of the time; that we are skilled at remembering that other people have issues and schedules which affect us but which have nothing to do with us. We may like to think that we know that our way of thinking is not the right way and that we are open to hearing what others think is right and the truth. We may even like to think that we a team player and open to team decisions.
Other people may let us know that their experience of us is very different than how we experience ourselves. We may find, for example, that many others experience us as controlling, rigid, demanding and as one who expects to be the center of the universe. We may find that some others experience us as conditional in our love and acceptance. We may also find out that others experience us as much kinder than we give ourselves credit for.
Spiritual and emotional growth demands that we open ourselves to looking at ourselves through the eyes of our partner, children, co-workers and others who interact with us. Our intentions may have been to be that ideal person we had hoped and imagined that we could be. The ideal person who lives in our head may have been trapped by fear, old trauma, lies about what it means to be a strong, capable person, or other shields. Freeing that ideal person will require that we face all those unresolved feelings as well as identify and correct the lies we may have internalized about how we are or should be as a human. We may have learned to believe that we are a person without emotions who does not need the love of others. We may have told ourselves that our experience in combat did not leave any scars. We may have told ourselves that we have forgiven the person who sexually abused us and find our way of dealing with that abuse was to convince ourselves that we are asexual and do not want or need a romantic relationship.
We may have told ourselves we are non-violent while blaming others for our vile, violent temper. We may also tell ourselves that verbal is just words.
Very few of us, if any, ever consciously and deliberately decided to lie to ourselves. We may, however, tell ourselves that we just cannot deal with some aspect of ourselves or some situation. We may invent a new version of reality to cover up the one we think we cannot face. We probably do not label it a lie but a lie it is no matter how nicely we dress it up. If we tell ourselves a new reality enough times we may begin to believe the lie.
Philosophers, theologians and wise teacher have suggested that that we “know ourselves” if we are to become the person we want to be; if we want to be in the process of becoming that person.
It may seem as if it takes great courage to get to know ourselves and, in fact, in some ways it does. It is only by getting to know the good, bad and ugly parts of our humanness that we can make the choice to be free to be our best selves which, in turn, allows us to assume our sacred place in the whole which some choose to call God, I am, the divine or just the whole.
Jimmy F Pickett
June 19, 2019
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
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