Keep Listening
This morning I was delighted to find several comments on yesterday’s blog post some of which were not in agreement with what I wrote. I did not respond although some others did so in a loving and respectful manner. Over the weekend on one of sites I received a very negative message directed at who I as a person. The same person attached a frowning face to many of my blog posts. Again I did not respond. I did confirm who I thought the person is and that that what she alleged someone said they did not say. In both cases my goal was to hold on to my commitment to listen beneath the words as well as to the words.
It does not come naturally to this human to listen with an open mind and heart to those who disagree on a subject about which I feel passionate. It also does not come naturally to me to listen to the pain beneath false accusations of someone. Yet, I believe that is what we need to do. In the case of the person who made such harsh false accusations I need to remember that her goal is to hurt me because she is unable to face her own demons. She may even believe what she is saying but, at some level, I suspect all she knows it is her pain she is avoiding.
The person whose opinion about the subject I addressed in yesterday’s. blog is one I need to hear. It is not helpful If I just disagree with him or throw sound bites at him. Some others did disagree with him and offered some basis for their disagreement. Perhaps he will hear and rethink some of this opinion and perhaps I and others will hear how important these issues are to him.
I write blogs almost daily because I believe:
Listening with an open mind and heart means for me:
Just for today I will “practice” listening with an open mind and heart. I say practice because I am not yet able to consistently do this well.
Written January 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
This morning I was delighted to find several comments on yesterday’s blog post some of which were not in agreement with what I wrote. I did not respond although some others did so in a loving and respectful manner. Over the weekend on one of sites I received a very negative message directed at who I as a person. The same person attached a frowning face to many of my blog posts. Again I did not respond. I did confirm who I thought the person is and that that what she alleged someone said they did not say. In both cases my goal was to hold on to my commitment to listen beneath the words as well as to the words.
It does not come naturally to this human to listen with an open mind and heart to those who disagree on a subject about which I feel passionate. It also does not come naturally to me to listen to the pain beneath false accusations of someone. Yet, I believe that is what we need to do. In the case of the person who made such harsh false accusations I need to remember that her goal is to hurt me because she is unable to face her own demons. She may even believe what she is saying but, at some level, I suspect all she knows it is her pain she is avoiding.
The person whose opinion about the subject I addressed in yesterday’s. blog is one I need to hear. It is not helpful If I just disagree with him or throw sound bites at him. Some others did disagree with him and offered some basis for their disagreement. Perhaps he will hear and rethink some of this opinion and perhaps I and others will hear how important these issues are to him.
I write blogs almost daily because I believe:
- I need to see if the thoughts in my head arel clear when they appear on paper or the computer screen.
- I need to have the courage to express opinions even when they are unpopular; even if I know that they will elicit a strong negative response from some others.
- I need to practice listening with an open mind and heart.
Listening with an open mind and heart means for me:
- Remembering that what I am saying in an opinion and not “the truth” or “the facts”. I may get new information which convinces me of a new truth. My education is very limited despite how much I read and solicit the opinions of others.
- Remembering that what others are saying or doing is not personal even when it is directed against me and may personally affect my personal or professional life.
- Stay open to discovering I have said or done something – intentional or not – which was hurtful to others and that I need to make amends.
Just for today I will “practice” listening with an open mind and heart. I say practice because I am not yet able to consistently do this well.
Written January 21, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
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