Laughing our way to hope
The other day I was talking with a client I had seen over a decade ago. She shared with me she was initially offended when I used humor as a response to her then existential angst. I, of course, apologized, but she then said that later she came to understand the healing power of being able to laugh with each other about our tendency to take life issues so seriously. This kind, wise, loving woman has now joined me as one of the elders of the community. She is at that age when the number of peers who are not much older are leaving this life journey by “natural” causes. As is true for all of us, the plethora of communication devices ensures that we are daily aware of the work of mother nature and all the other events which reminds us this life journey is very brief. As we near the end of this life journey, many, if not most, of the issues which seemed so very important in earlier stages of this journey now seem less important.
We worried about being “right” which we often confused with respect and wisdom.
Many of us paid a counselor to remind us what we knew to tell our children but failed to tell ourselves.
When a particular politician won an election, or made what seemed like unwise decisions we predicted the end of the world.
We dressed up death with very expensive coffins which would take a very long time to make peace with the earth with which it would rest.
We rushed to get to the beach or other “vacation” destinations so that we could acutely dislike each other by the time we arrived.
In short we took life so seriously that we forgot to laugh and enjoy the journey/the ride. We were and often still are pretty silly.
The other day I heard someone describe laughter as the tangible symbol of hope. I am sorry that I did not immediately jot down the author of this statement or what I remember the statement to have been. At any rate, I love this description of laughter. When I hear laughter, I hear:
I recall once being awarded a black eye by a man who thought I was having an affair with his wife. As it happened his wife who was on crutches, had locked herself out of her house and needed help breaking into her house. She could not reach her husband and came to my house asking for help. I was already ready for bed and in my robe. Before I could change the doorbell rang. It was her husband who I welcomed into my home. He asked to talk to me. I invited him to my study. He then awarded me that black eye. I got very tickled as I laid on the floor, robe open to reveal my nakedness. He did not fully appreciate my laughter which I found even funnier. I was not having an affair with his wife although later, post-divorce, she and I did become lovers. The situation still makes me smile. I found it very amusing to be the star of a B movie.
My tears come as quickly as my laughter. In fact, it often seems as if tears open the pathways to laughter.
I suspect that the more we are able to laugh together the more we can proceed with the important business of finding more practical, loving ways to share this life journey.
Written October 29, 2018
The other day I was talking with a client I had seen over a decade ago. She shared with me she was initially offended when I used humor as a response to her then existential angst. I, of course, apologized, but she then said that later she came to understand the healing power of being able to laugh with each other about our tendency to take life issues so seriously. This kind, wise, loving woman has now joined me as one of the elders of the community. She is at that age when the number of peers who are not much older are leaving this life journey by “natural” causes. As is true for all of us, the plethora of communication devices ensures that we are daily aware of the work of mother nature and all the other events which reminds us this life journey is very brief. As we near the end of this life journey, many, if not most, of the issues which seemed so very important in earlier stages of this journey now seem less important.
We worried about being “right” which we often confused with respect and wisdom.
Many of us paid a counselor to remind us what we knew to tell our children but failed to tell ourselves.
When a particular politician won an election, or made what seemed like unwise decisions we predicted the end of the world.
We dressed up death with very expensive coffins which would take a very long time to make peace with the earth with which it would rest.
We rushed to get to the beach or other “vacation” destinations so that we could acutely dislike each other by the time we arrived.
In short we took life so seriously that we forgot to laugh and enjoy the journey/the ride. We were and often still are pretty silly.
The other day I heard someone describe laughter as the tangible symbol of hope. I am sorry that I did not immediately jot down the author of this statement or what I remember the statement to have been. At any rate, I love this description of laughter. When I hear laughter, I hear:
- A virtual hug. No issue or difference can separate us.
- An openness to learning and growing.
- The power to live a life which is life affirming no matter how many shootings, bombing, or other means of treating each other as less then.
- Pure joy.
I recall once being awarded a black eye by a man who thought I was having an affair with his wife. As it happened his wife who was on crutches, had locked herself out of her house and needed help breaking into her house. She could not reach her husband and came to my house asking for help. I was already ready for bed and in my robe. Before I could change the doorbell rang. It was her husband who I welcomed into my home. He asked to talk to me. I invited him to my study. He then awarded me that black eye. I got very tickled as I laid on the floor, robe open to reveal my nakedness. He did not fully appreciate my laughter which I found even funnier. I was not having an affair with his wife although later, post-divorce, she and I did become lovers. The situation still makes me smile. I found it very amusing to be the star of a B movie.
My tears come as quickly as my laughter. In fact, it often seems as if tears open the pathways to laughter.
I suspect that the more we are able to laugh together the more we can proceed with the important business of finding more practical, loving ways to share this life journey.
Written October 29, 2018
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