Less is often more
Podcasts were made for people like me who seem to need to have one’s assumptions about the world/universe, people and how all these interact challenged on a regular basis. Podcasts often allow me to peak into a book, the latest research in a variety of fields and to more clearly identify the questions I need to ask. I have always been an avid reader, but, of course one cannot always do relatively mindless tasks and read a book at the same time. I do occasionally listen to audio books, but I prefer to hold an actual book in my hand. Podcast are, however, a different medium. In many ways podcast give me the same stimulation and pleasure that spending hours in a library, bookstore, or reading the Sunday New York Times book review section might. Most podcast to which I listen do reference books which will give me a more in-depth view of current thinking or research on various topics or point me to a delicious use of the English language.
This morning after listening to NPR news, I opened Hidden Brain, a podcast which allow Shankar Vedantam to “use storytelling and science to reveal the hidden patterns that drive human behavior.” The episode to which I listened this morning featured a conversation with Psychologists Rachel Albert and Laura Cerelli who study the language development of babies and how adult interactions affect future behavioral patterns. For example, Ms. Cerelli discovered that bouncing in synch with a baby was likely to lead to that child helping a partner pick up an object which was of reach.
This led me to thinking about my role as a father and a counselor. Often, I am reminded that being present - in synch – with either an adult or a child is my most important skill.
Early this morning, I was thinking about how to be supportive with a person who called me. My first temptation was to tell him what to do as if he does not already know what to do. He knows but feels unable to change his thought process. He needs to hear himself reinforcing the negative and self-defeating behavior. I might ask him, “How is this working for you?” or “Is this behavior helping you or your partner?”. This might help him explore other behavior or thought processes but it will be on his time schedule and not mine. I am reminded when my son would rebel against me doing too much for him or directing his behavior. Like his dad he needed to discover on his own, even if it meant many tries and even a few scrapes and bruises along the way. It was important that I was present to be supportive and to reduce the risk of his being seriously hurt, but his “I can do it.” was often a clear reminder that, as a parent, less was often more. As an adult I do not need someone to provide me with the answers. I do treasure help in deciding what questions I should ask. Podcast such as the one to which I listen this morning reminded me that often less is more; less chatter from others; less chatter in my own head; less doing for and more doing with or just being with.
Written November 28, 2018
Podcasts were made for people like me who seem to need to have one’s assumptions about the world/universe, people and how all these interact challenged on a regular basis. Podcasts often allow me to peak into a book, the latest research in a variety of fields and to more clearly identify the questions I need to ask. I have always been an avid reader, but, of course one cannot always do relatively mindless tasks and read a book at the same time. I do occasionally listen to audio books, but I prefer to hold an actual book in my hand. Podcast are, however, a different medium. In many ways podcast give me the same stimulation and pleasure that spending hours in a library, bookstore, or reading the Sunday New York Times book review section might. Most podcast to which I listen do reference books which will give me a more in-depth view of current thinking or research on various topics or point me to a delicious use of the English language.
This morning after listening to NPR news, I opened Hidden Brain, a podcast which allow Shankar Vedantam to “use storytelling and science to reveal the hidden patterns that drive human behavior.” The episode to which I listened this morning featured a conversation with Psychologists Rachel Albert and Laura Cerelli who study the language development of babies and how adult interactions affect future behavioral patterns. For example, Ms. Cerelli discovered that bouncing in synch with a baby was likely to lead to that child helping a partner pick up an object which was of reach.
This led me to thinking about my role as a father and a counselor. Often, I am reminded that being present - in synch – with either an adult or a child is my most important skill.
Early this morning, I was thinking about how to be supportive with a person who called me. My first temptation was to tell him what to do as if he does not already know what to do. He knows but feels unable to change his thought process. He needs to hear himself reinforcing the negative and self-defeating behavior. I might ask him, “How is this working for you?” or “Is this behavior helping you or your partner?”. This might help him explore other behavior or thought processes but it will be on his time schedule and not mine. I am reminded when my son would rebel against me doing too much for him or directing his behavior. Like his dad he needed to discover on his own, even if it meant many tries and even a few scrapes and bruises along the way. It was important that I was present to be supportive and to reduce the risk of his being seriously hurt, but his “I can do it.” was often a clear reminder that, as a parent, less was often more. As an adult I do not need someone to provide me with the answers. I do treasure help in deciding what questions I should ask. Podcast such as the one to which I listen this morning reminded me that often less is more; less chatter from others; less chatter in my own head; less doing for and more doing with or just being with.
Written November 28, 2018
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