Life shows up
Twelve step program elders often talk about the fact that when one works a recovery program and begins to assume their place as a contributing, responsible member of the community life still shows up. Loved ones get sick, people die, accidents happen, employers change course and no longer need one, mother nature shows up with a flood, a hurricane, a fire or some other “natural’ destructive event, the political climate changes, or something from one’s past suddenly reappears threating to destroy what one has built. In other words, as so many wise people have pointed out, bad things happen to good people. Life is not always fair or just. Unlike Jesus or some of the saints, one may not yet be spiritually evolved enough to say “Thy will be done.” One may be tempted to decide that if bad things are going to happen there is no point in doing the next right thing.
Some may discover that some part of them is holding on to a childhood belief one should get external, tangible rewards for good behavior.
Even though one may have thought they had advanced to a higher spiritual plane where it is enough to do the next right thing because it is the next right thing, one may discover that they are waiting for the yellow sucker or the star on the refrigerator.
Such moments can provide one with an opportunity to grow. Rather than feeling bad because one has yet to earn one’s saintly wings, one has an opportunity to move on to a graduate school course in accepting life on life’s terms. One may have done well in learning a lesson at a high school level. Perhaps, eventually one did well in learning the same lesson at a graduate school level. After that one may have an opportunity to move on to a post-graduate course.
One could, of course, feel like one is a victim when life shows up. One could easily feed that thought until one is reacting rather than acting. Reaction can take many forms. One could assume a 3-year-old stance by lying on the floor, screaming and kicking the air with one’s feet. One could decide to form a more intimate relationship with the couch. One could numb oneself with television, alcohol, other drugs, food or even anger.
It may seem as if “life shows up” in very negative way more often for some people than for others. It may seem as if no matter what they do multiple, successive bad things happen. I have certainly known people for whom this seemed to be the case. Yet, some of those folks continue to view each new situation as a new opportunity. It is almost as if they have a third eye, which can easily seeing opportunities where everyone else sees darkness. It appears as if some people have that third eye from the time that they are very young. Chemical imbalance resulting in clinical depression or other conditions may make it more difficult for some to see the positives. It may be that one grows up in a family where one or more members see only the darkness. Whatever the case, one can train oneself to see the light. For some, medication might facilitate this ability, but even then one will have to “manually” make cognitive adjustments expecting to find the light. It is always there. It may be sitting alongside the grief or the sadness, but the light is always there.
Written December 21, 2017
Twelve step program elders often talk about the fact that when one works a recovery program and begins to assume their place as a contributing, responsible member of the community life still shows up. Loved ones get sick, people die, accidents happen, employers change course and no longer need one, mother nature shows up with a flood, a hurricane, a fire or some other “natural’ destructive event, the political climate changes, or something from one’s past suddenly reappears threating to destroy what one has built. In other words, as so many wise people have pointed out, bad things happen to good people. Life is not always fair or just. Unlike Jesus or some of the saints, one may not yet be spiritually evolved enough to say “Thy will be done.” One may be tempted to decide that if bad things are going to happen there is no point in doing the next right thing.
Some may discover that some part of them is holding on to a childhood belief one should get external, tangible rewards for good behavior.
Even though one may have thought they had advanced to a higher spiritual plane where it is enough to do the next right thing because it is the next right thing, one may discover that they are waiting for the yellow sucker or the star on the refrigerator.
Such moments can provide one with an opportunity to grow. Rather than feeling bad because one has yet to earn one’s saintly wings, one has an opportunity to move on to a graduate school course in accepting life on life’s terms. One may have done well in learning a lesson at a high school level. Perhaps, eventually one did well in learning the same lesson at a graduate school level. After that one may have an opportunity to move on to a post-graduate course.
One could, of course, feel like one is a victim when life shows up. One could easily feed that thought until one is reacting rather than acting. Reaction can take many forms. One could assume a 3-year-old stance by lying on the floor, screaming and kicking the air with one’s feet. One could decide to form a more intimate relationship with the couch. One could numb oneself with television, alcohol, other drugs, food or even anger.
It may seem as if “life shows up” in very negative way more often for some people than for others. It may seem as if no matter what they do multiple, successive bad things happen. I have certainly known people for whom this seemed to be the case. Yet, some of those folks continue to view each new situation as a new opportunity. It is almost as if they have a third eye, which can easily seeing opportunities where everyone else sees darkness. It appears as if some people have that third eye from the time that they are very young. Chemical imbalance resulting in clinical depression or other conditions may make it more difficult for some to see the positives. It may be that one grows up in a family where one or more members see only the darkness. Whatever the case, one can train oneself to see the light. For some, medication might facilitate this ability, but even then one will have to “manually” make cognitive adjustments expecting to find the light. It is always there. It may be sitting alongside the grief or the sadness, but the light is always there.
Written December 21, 2017
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