Many hats
In my role as a licensed professional counselor I am often reminded of the importance of being clear about my professional role so that I can maintain some objectively and not do anything which is going to unnecessarily complicate or cloud my relationships with clients. For example, hiring a client to clean my house and then discovering something was missing could result in suspecting the client of taking what was missing. Even if I did not accuse the client of taking the missing item, my potential distrust would likely be felt by the client when we were meeting for therapy.
The awareness of the potentially fragile nature of a relationship between a health care professional and a patient/client is extremely important. This is also true for the teacher student relationship and a host of other relationships. In the real world, relationships are often messy, and the lines can become cloudy. Many of us live in small communities or seemingly large cities. Large cities are often, if not always, just a group of small communities. In New York City, for example, it is not unusual to run into the same people over and over again. Often those with common interests, professions, or backgrounds show up in the same circles.
Even in biological family roles change. Today my oldest sister is in Dallas to help care for our brother who is recovering from major surgery. She, along with my brother’s wife, will need to make the caretaker role primary for the next few weeks.
In my role as a licensed counselor and certified addiction counselor in the small community in which I live I sometimes see colleagues and their families as clients. For many years I hired my ex-wife as my clinical supervisor because she was the psychiatrist who I thought was the most competent of all those available. In her role as my clinical supervisor she was Dr. S and had absolute authority over decisions about clinical issues.
Clients, patients or students may be doctors, first responders, teachers or plumbers!
A person capable of fulling the parenting role is nurse, teacher, counselor, coach, provider, house cleaner, errand runner, cook, laundry person and has many other roles. A parent has to hold the child close only to let go at some point to support the child in pursuing their own journey. The adult child and the parent may find that they are often colleagues and neighbors as well as family. Roles may switch as the parents age.
Healthy people are able to frequently change hats or switch roles. They are able t put their needs aside and discern what is best or most needed by the other person. Health care professionals, teachers and other care takers need the professional guidelines and the counsel of each other to set and maintain the boundaries which best serve the needs of those they agree to serve. At the same time all need to recognize that no matter how many books of rules are written, relationship can be cloudy and messy. The one rule that seem to be most helpful is: If one is hesitant to seek advice or to document what is going on with in a cloudy or messy relationship one is probably crossing a line that should not be crossed.
What we do not want to do as professionals or even as parents is to allow the boxes into which rules can place one to cloud the responsibilities to care for each other. Sometimes the rules tell us not to talk to a family member or to not recognize the unofficial or non-legal roles individuals have with each other. If, for example, an adult child is addicted and living with non-addicted people who love them, we need to be talking to them.
Obviously taking advantage of a vulnerable individual is never moral or acceptable. Using rules or guidelines to justify ignoring the pain of the client, patient, student or other person who needs our service/help is not moral or acceptable. The rule of “do no harm” is always a good place to start. Seeking advice from trusted friends, colleagues or mentors when the lines are cloudy or messy is the always the next right thing to do.
Written August 14, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
In my role as a licensed professional counselor I am often reminded of the importance of being clear about my professional role so that I can maintain some objectively and not do anything which is going to unnecessarily complicate or cloud my relationships with clients. For example, hiring a client to clean my house and then discovering something was missing could result in suspecting the client of taking what was missing. Even if I did not accuse the client of taking the missing item, my potential distrust would likely be felt by the client when we were meeting for therapy.
The awareness of the potentially fragile nature of a relationship between a health care professional and a patient/client is extremely important. This is also true for the teacher student relationship and a host of other relationships. In the real world, relationships are often messy, and the lines can become cloudy. Many of us live in small communities or seemingly large cities. Large cities are often, if not always, just a group of small communities. In New York City, for example, it is not unusual to run into the same people over and over again. Often those with common interests, professions, or backgrounds show up in the same circles.
Even in biological family roles change. Today my oldest sister is in Dallas to help care for our brother who is recovering from major surgery. She, along with my brother’s wife, will need to make the caretaker role primary for the next few weeks.
In my role as a licensed counselor and certified addiction counselor in the small community in which I live I sometimes see colleagues and their families as clients. For many years I hired my ex-wife as my clinical supervisor because she was the psychiatrist who I thought was the most competent of all those available. In her role as my clinical supervisor she was Dr. S and had absolute authority over decisions about clinical issues.
Clients, patients or students may be doctors, first responders, teachers or plumbers!
A person capable of fulling the parenting role is nurse, teacher, counselor, coach, provider, house cleaner, errand runner, cook, laundry person and has many other roles. A parent has to hold the child close only to let go at some point to support the child in pursuing their own journey. The adult child and the parent may find that they are often colleagues and neighbors as well as family. Roles may switch as the parents age.
Healthy people are able to frequently change hats or switch roles. They are able t put their needs aside and discern what is best or most needed by the other person. Health care professionals, teachers and other care takers need the professional guidelines and the counsel of each other to set and maintain the boundaries which best serve the needs of those they agree to serve. At the same time all need to recognize that no matter how many books of rules are written, relationship can be cloudy and messy. The one rule that seem to be most helpful is: If one is hesitant to seek advice or to document what is going on with in a cloudy or messy relationship one is probably crossing a line that should not be crossed.
What we do not want to do as professionals or even as parents is to allow the boxes into which rules can place one to cloud the responsibilities to care for each other. Sometimes the rules tell us not to talk to a family member or to not recognize the unofficial or non-legal roles individuals have with each other. If, for example, an adult child is addicted and living with non-addicted people who love them, we need to be talking to them.
Obviously taking advantage of a vulnerable individual is never moral or acceptable. Using rules or guidelines to justify ignoring the pain of the client, patient, student or other person who needs our service/help is not moral or acceptable. The rule of “do no harm” is always a good place to start. Seeking advice from trusted friends, colleagues or mentors when the lines are cloudy or messy is the always the next right thing to do.
Written August 14, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
RSS Feed