Meditations for Lent - #28
The Gospel lesson today is John 5:17-30. When I read this lesson, perhaps because I am a father, perhaps because I see a lot of families in my counseling practice or perhaps because I talk to so many men who have a very distance relationship with their father my focus is on the loving relationship Jesus describes himself as having with his spiritual father. Jesus talks a lot about his father’s role as a teacher.
I am sure that many of us have heard a parent – even perhaps ourselves – say, “Do as I say, but not as I do.” All of us know, of course, that the child is much more likely to copy the parent’s behavior than to do what the parent says. This is especially true of the same sex parent. As a father I am particularly concerned with what we are teaching our sons both by our behavior and by what we say. How many of us have had discussion with our sons about such subjects as:
Some may not have a biological father who is living or otherwise able to have these discussions or model this behavior. As elders we all responsible for helping each other share this role. Just as Jesus talks about looking to his father for guidance so we must be present to our biological children if we have them and to all the other males in the community. While we are teaching we are also learning from the young males. Jesus introduced a new vision of his spiritual father as one who is always forgiving, always open to a discussion, always treating everyone as equally deserving of Grace. We, too, must we be open to expanding our view of what it means to be a father and an elder. We can , I believe, be open to looking at ourselves in new ways – as both the teacher and the student. We will, of course, do this job imperfectly but we can challenge each other to be more intentional about the questions and how we listen to the answers.
Written April 3, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
The Gospel lesson today is John 5:17-30. When I read this lesson, perhaps because I am a father, perhaps because I see a lot of families in my counseling practice or perhaps because I talk to so many men who have a very distance relationship with their father my focus is on the loving relationship Jesus describes himself as having with his spiritual father. Jesus talks a lot about his father’s role as a teacher.
I am sure that many of us have heard a parent – even perhaps ourselves – say, “Do as I say, but not as I do.” All of us know, of course, that the child is much more likely to copy the parent’s behavior than to do what the parent says. This is especially true of the same sex parent. As a father I am particularly concerned with what we are teaching our sons both by our behavior and by what we say. How many of us have had discussion with our sons about such subjects as:
- What does it mean to be a man?
- What sort of relationships do we want with other men?
- What sort of relationships do we want with women?
- What does it mean to have an equal partnership with women based on talents, interests and skills?
- Why has there been so much opposition to the equal rights amendment in the United States?
- What is our history of racism and how does racism affect our country today?
- What is the role of guns and gun violence in our families, our community and our nations.
- What are our core values? Are they action values?
- What is our responsibility as sexual beings?
- Why do so many hide fears and doubts by numbing with alcohol, other drugs, power, money, bullying behavior, food or sex?
Some may not have a biological father who is living or otherwise able to have these discussions or model this behavior. As elders we all responsible for helping each other share this role. Just as Jesus talks about looking to his father for guidance so we must be present to our biological children if we have them and to all the other males in the community. While we are teaching we are also learning from the young males. Jesus introduced a new vision of his spiritual father as one who is always forgiving, always open to a discussion, always treating everyone as equally deserving of Grace. We, too, must we be open to expanding our view of what it means to be a father and an elder. We can , I believe, be open to looking at ourselves in new ways – as both the teacher and the student. We will, of course, do this job imperfectly but we can challenge each other to be more intentional about the questions and how we listen to the answers.
Written April 3, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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