Mirror, mirror on the wall…
The Evil Queen in the German folk take asks the slave in the mirror,” Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” Many of us are guilty of looking to other people to tell us that we are the most loved or worthwhile. We may also look at others and see, not a mirror of ourselves, but a person who we can criticize. Criticizing others can be another way of boosting our own sense of worth. If they are worse than we are then perhaps we are okay. At least we are better than person X. This often seem much easier and more comfortable than honesty seeing the human and, thus, flawed part of ourselves in the mirror of another person.
Expecting or even demanding that another person validate our self-worth is as rewarding long term as looking in our mirror at home. Even if we put on glasses with deeply tinted lens thus masking any clarity and see this physically attractive person we know that this image is not a true or complete picture of who we are. Obviously, who we are has nothing to do with what the slave in the mirror tells us. We cannot blame other persons for not being our slave and telling us what we want to see or hear. We are responsible for accepting who this human is; a wonderful, limited, flawed, worthy person – person in the process of becoming. Other people have their own strengths and challenges having nothing to do with us. Certainly, it helps to choose a “we” who can be supportive of us and our journey, but they are not responsible for our journey any more than we can be responsible for their journey.
Just because someone is connected by DNA, adoption or marriage does not mean that they are able to be part of our we. This does not make them bad people. It is not kind or realistic to expect someone to give us what it is up to us to give ourselves.
Just because the slave in the mirror gave the Evil Witch what she expected and demanded does not change who she is. Bless her heart. She obviously needs lots of unconditional love without the pressure of others demanding from her what she does not have to give. The wicked witch needs the courage and the faith to face who she is so that she can become who she wants the slave in the mirror to tell her she is.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, I have the strength, open mindedness, faith, and willingness to see my true self; the courage to accept the past and to change the things I can with the support of my healthy we – my intentional family.
Written December 5, 2018
The Evil Queen in the German folk take asks the slave in the mirror,” Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” Many of us are guilty of looking to other people to tell us that we are the most loved or worthwhile. We may also look at others and see, not a mirror of ourselves, but a person who we can criticize. Criticizing others can be another way of boosting our own sense of worth. If they are worse than we are then perhaps we are okay. At least we are better than person X. This often seem much easier and more comfortable than honesty seeing the human and, thus, flawed part of ourselves in the mirror of another person.
Expecting or even demanding that another person validate our self-worth is as rewarding long term as looking in our mirror at home. Even if we put on glasses with deeply tinted lens thus masking any clarity and see this physically attractive person we know that this image is not a true or complete picture of who we are. Obviously, who we are has nothing to do with what the slave in the mirror tells us. We cannot blame other persons for not being our slave and telling us what we want to see or hear. We are responsible for accepting who this human is; a wonderful, limited, flawed, worthy person – person in the process of becoming. Other people have their own strengths and challenges having nothing to do with us. Certainly, it helps to choose a “we” who can be supportive of us and our journey, but they are not responsible for our journey any more than we can be responsible for their journey.
Just because someone is connected by DNA, adoption or marriage does not mean that they are able to be part of our we. This does not make them bad people. It is not kind or realistic to expect someone to give us what it is up to us to give ourselves.
Just because the slave in the mirror gave the Evil Witch what she expected and demanded does not change who she is. Bless her heart. She obviously needs lots of unconditional love without the pressure of others demanding from her what she does not have to give. The wicked witch needs the courage and the faith to face who she is so that she can become who she wants the slave in the mirror to tell her she is.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, I have the strength, open mindedness, faith, and willingness to see my true self; the courage to accept the past and to change the things I can with the support of my healthy we – my intentional family.
Written December 5, 2018
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