Muscle memory
I was feeling out of sorts this morning. Obviously we all have days when we feel out of sorts or off center – no quite at home in one’s body. The temptation is to look for something which will, at least temporarily, make one feel better. Most of us know from experience that the healthiest thing we can do is, if possible, be patients until the feeling passes. We may be somewhere such as at work as an emergency room worker where this not possible. If lucky we will then allow healthy muscle memory to direct us. If, however, we are at home with no responsibility for any other living creature we may notice some part of our mind searching for a distraction. If we have a habit of making a decision to choose an unhealthy behavior our muscle memory may direct our body to engage in this unhealthy behavior. It will seem as if we did not make a choice.
Making new choices when we out of sorts because we are sad, disappointed, angry, hungry, tired, bored or physically sick can seem incredibly difficult. Muscle memory or habits of thinking and behavior are very useful. If one had to relearn how to bathe, dress, use the bathroom, brush on teeth, and turn on the coffee or tea maker first thing in the morning one would arrive at work about the time that it was time to go home. Every part of life would be in disarray.
Of course it would be wonderful if one only learned heathy behaviors. Most of us have, however, practiced certain unhealthy behaviors. We may then find ourselves frustrated and perhaps very critical of ourselves every time we stray off the path which leads to positive self-esteem. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, power, money, anger and other people, places and things are some of the obvious negative muscle memory behavior. Depending on the addictive behavior or substance one may experience extreme physical and emotional discomfort if one attempts to change the habitual/addictive behavior. Yet, even those of us without a diagnostic label have habits which are unhealthy physically, emotionally or spiritually. We may “find ourselves” procrastinating doing a home or work project until the last minute and then not doing the job of which we are capable. We may “find ourselves” spending hours on social media, video games or looking at internet porn. We may not feel able to resist that extra sugary product which we know could eventually lead to a diagnosis of diabetes.
Most of us had the experience of deciding many times that we will not ever again engage in that undesirable behavior only to find ourselves doing it again and again and again.
Those who have a 12-step program of recovery have a prescription for changing behavior which works well if one does not engage in a particular additive or unhealthy behavior “no matter what” but instead pick up the phone and call their sponsor or some other person in their “we”. Most of us, however, do not have a sponsor, but we can certainly enlist the support of a trusted friends. This, however, first requires that we let go of shame or embarrassment; that we make peace with the fact that we are all human; that all of us have some unhealthy habits we want and may need to change.
We may attempt to change behavior by brow beating ourselves into change metaphorically or physically. Verbal or physical negative admonishments or criticisms does not change behavior. Punishment never works long term. Long term, punishment makes us feel worse which, in turns increases the chances of repeating unhealthy behavior. We must choose a healthy alternative behavior and we must commit to “not picking up” the negative behavior “no matter what. Those who use programs such as weight watchers to change their nutritional habits can often be very successful because they can practice new behavior with built in rewards. The key is to be consistent since intermittent reinforcement of the any behavior is very resistant to extinction. Intermittent reinforcement is so powerful because it says that eventually one will always give in to the desire to repeat the undesirable behavior.
Pema Chödrön, the Buddhist nun, suggests that if we find ourselves obsessively thinking or worrying that we merely say the word thinking to ourselves. If we do this over and over again at some point we will notice that the unhealthy, obsessive thought has stopped.
Often, if possible, I engage in a physical activity if am tempted to engage in an unhealthy behavior. Yoga, Tai Chi, riding my bike, hiking or even doing a home project as simple as cleaning may successfully interrupt the action of the current muscle memory while one creates new muscle memory.
Written June 13, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
I was feeling out of sorts this morning. Obviously we all have days when we feel out of sorts or off center – no quite at home in one’s body. The temptation is to look for something which will, at least temporarily, make one feel better. Most of us know from experience that the healthiest thing we can do is, if possible, be patients until the feeling passes. We may be somewhere such as at work as an emergency room worker where this not possible. If lucky we will then allow healthy muscle memory to direct us. If, however, we are at home with no responsibility for any other living creature we may notice some part of our mind searching for a distraction. If we have a habit of making a decision to choose an unhealthy behavior our muscle memory may direct our body to engage in this unhealthy behavior. It will seem as if we did not make a choice.
Making new choices when we out of sorts because we are sad, disappointed, angry, hungry, tired, bored or physically sick can seem incredibly difficult. Muscle memory or habits of thinking and behavior are very useful. If one had to relearn how to bathe, dress, use the bathroom, brush on teeth, and turn on the coffee or tea maker first thing in the morning one would arrive at work about the time that it was time to go home. Every part of life would be in disarray.
Of course it would be wonderful if one only learned heathy behaviors. Most of us have, however, practiced certain unhealthy behaviors. We may then find ourselves frustrated and perhaps very critical of ourselves every time we stray off the path which leads to positive self-esteem. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, power, money, anger and other people, places and things are some of the obvious negative muscle memory behavior. Depending on the addictive behavior or substance one may experience extreme physical and emotional discomfort if one attempts to change the habitual/addictive behavior. Yet, even those of us without a diagnostic label have habits which are unhealthy physically, emotionally or spiritually. We may “find ourselves” procrastinating doing a home or work project until the last minute and then not doing the job of which we are capable. We may “find ourselves” spending hours on social media, video games or looking at internet porn. We may not feel able to resist that extra sugary product which we know could eventually lead to a diagnosis of diabetes.
Most of us had the experience of deciding many times that we will not ever again engage in that undesirable behavior only to find ourselves doing it again and again and again.
Those who have a 12-step program of recovery have a prescription for changing behavior which works well if one does not engage in a particular additive or unhealthy behavior “no matter what” but instead pick up the phone and call their sponsor or some other person in their “we”. Most of us, however, do not have a sponsor, but we can certainly enlist the support of a trusted friends. This, however, first requires that we let go of shame or embarrassment; that we make peace with the fact that we are all human; that all of us have some unhealthy habits we want and may need to change.
We may attempt to change behavior by brow beating ourselves into change metaphorically or physically. Verbal or physical negative admonishments or criticisms does not change behavior. Punishment never works long term. Long term, punishment makes us feel worse which, in turns increases the chances of repeating unhealthy behavior. We must choose a healthy alternative behavior and we must commit to “not picking up” the negative behavior “no matter what. Those who use programs such as weight watchers to change their nutritional habits can often be very successful because they can practice new behavior with built in rewards. The key is to be consistent since intermittent reinforcement of the any behavior is very resistant to extinction. Intermittent reinforcement is so powerful because it says that eventually one will always give in to the desire to repeat the undesirable behavior.
Pema Chödrön, the Buddhist nun, suggests that if we find ourselves obsessively thinking or worrying that we merely say the word thinking to ourselves. If we do this over and over again at some point we will notice that the unhealthy, obsessive thought has stopped.
Often, if possible, I engage in a physical activity if am tempted to engage in an unhealthy behavior. Yoga, Tai Chi, riding my bike, hiking or even doing a home project as simple as cleaning may successfully interrupt the action of the current muscle memory while one creates new muscle memory.
Written June 13, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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