“My bad”
I just made a very unfortunate mistake. For some reason I was not thinking about the two-hour time difference between where I live in Florida and where my mother, who is celebrating her 96thbirthday today, lives in Oklahoma. I certainly know it is a two-hour time difference but in my haste to make sure I called her prior to doing some work today, I “forgot.” Not surprisingly, despite her insistence that she is always up very early, she was still sleeping. As is the case with all of us, but perhaps more so as we age, she got very confused and then fearful that she had overslept. I then emailed one of my sisters who will see her today and let her know what I had done knowing she would have to deal with any fallout from the fact that my brain took a mini-vacation! The phrase which immediately came to mind, but which I did not utter to my mother or sister was, “my bad.” The phrase seems to be in such common usage these days that it even come to the forefront of this aged mind! This got me to thinking about the etiology of this phrase.
When I goggled it, one of the hits was the site “phrases.org.uk.” There I was informed that:
This slang term originated in about 1970. At that time, that is, pre the widespread use of the Internet, slang terms often circulated at street level for many years before being adopted by anyone who felt inclined to write them down. That's clearly not the case any longer of course and any word or phrase that is widely known is dateable quite precisely via website logs.
The first citation in print is C. Wielgus and A. Wolff's, 'Back-in-your-face Guide to Pick-up Basketball' 1986:
"My bad, an expression of contrition uttered after making a bad pass or missing an opponent."
I certainly did not become aware of it until a few years ago and only recently was I consciously aware of how often it is used by others and now even by this old codger.
I was further informed of something even more surprising:
“Shakespeare used the term with something like the current meaning, in his Sonnet 112:
Your love and pity doth the impression fill
Which vulgar scandal stamp'd upon my brow;
For what care I who calls me well or ill,
So you o'er-green my bad, my good allow?”
Clearly in the example I am using this morning, I was at fault for calling at such an early hour and thus being responsible for starting the morning for my aged mother in a very, to her, upsetting manner. None of us likes to be caught so unaware or to have someone “be present” via phone or in person when we are feeing confused, cannot focus and, thus, feel vulnerable. That is a very uncomfortable feeling for any of us at any age. The longer it takes for us to fully wake up and be present, the longer the discomfort lasts.
There is no disputing the fact that my action was responsible for my mother’s discomfort. I owe her and my sister(s) who will be with her today to help her get ready for the planned birthday celebration an apology for “my bad”. Two of my sisters, who because they live in Oklahoma relatively near our mother, are the ones who assume the responsibility for helping to nurture/take care of her and calm her when she is feeling out of sorts for whatever reason.
I did, of course, apologize to my sister who is likely to see our mother first or who mother is likely to call first. I later also called and apologized to mother who seemed to not remember that I had called earlier. She was anxious about the day since it included more activity that her normal day does these days.
The incident reminded me not only about the adoption of use of slang terms in each period of history but that often it is still the “young street people” who lead the way. Changes often begin with the young people who may assert their independence by breaking away from the larger culture with their own music, dress/grooming, and certainly language. Eventually, the larger culture may adopt or co-opt some of those changes which then, of course, “…means that the “rebellious ones” have to find a new mode of dress/grooming, music or new language to differentiate themselves. The “rebellious ones” might be shocked to learn that frequently what they thought was original was, in fact, originated by one of their predecessors. Such is the case with “my bad.” These same young people who are rebelling might be shocked to learn that Shakespeare had “been there, done that.”
Consider the phrase “There is nothing new under the sun.” Even this phrase itself was or a version of it can be found in such diverse places as Ecclesiastes 1:9 (“the thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.” and Marcus Aurelius in Meditations:
“Consider for example, and thou wilt find that almost all of the transactions in the time of Vespasian differed little from those of the present day. Thou there findest marrying and giving in marriage, educating children, sickness, death, war, joyous holidays, traffic, agriculture, flatterers, insolent pride, suspicions, laying of plots, longing for the death of others, newsmongers, lovers, misers, men canvassing for the consulship and for the kingdom;—yet all these passed away, and are nowhere.”—Craufurd Tait Ramage, Familiar Quotations from Greek Authors, p. 47 (1895, reprinted 1968). (bartleby.com)
One of the reasons why I appreciate the phrase “my bad” as well as the above quotes from Marcus Aurelius and Ecclesiastes, is that they remind me that it is no big deal to make a mistake. “My bad” says to me that, “Yes a mistake was made and an effort will be made to avoid that mistake in the future.” This is no chest beating or dramatic acts of contrition. We humans make mistakes. It will be very reassuring to self and others that I or you are going to attempt to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future but we do not have to act shocked or catastrophize the situation.
“My bad” does not make excuses, write a blog about (LOL) the situation, or otherwise carry on about it It says, “I own it. It was not intentional or, if it was then it was not ethical/appropriate, kind/helpful. I am not making light of my action, but I am not going to fall on my sword either. You will either forgive me or not. I am going to forgive myself and, if I need to and there is a way to do it, I will make amends.”
Historically many speakers in the old and new Testament do not do well with “my bad,” but as I just pointed out with the quote from Ecclesiastes and some of the teachings attributed to Jesus, there are times when one is reminded that “my bad” is sufficient.
This morning I was reading the Tampa Tribute about the arrest of a police officer who fabricated a story about why he shot a passenger in a car he had stopped for possible DUI. Fortunately the person he shot is not dead. The officer is now charged with attempted murder. I have no idea why the officer drew his gun and shot the man even though his body camera clearly shows that there was no reason to do so (I am not going to herein address the issues of why we give lethal weapons to law enforcement personnel). Clearly the reason for the action of this officer needs to be determined. Does he has situational issues, a historical issue with his temper, another emotional/psychological issues, or a medical issue? I have no idea. This is an important issue. Perhaps he is not healthy enough to be an armed law enforcement person. Perhaps he can be treated. We have, in this country, created a mood/atmosphere in which it is impossible to say, “My bad. I need some help.”
Most importantly, perhaps, I want to be mindful that often it is the young person who may remind me of old truths such as:
· Have fun with costuming/clothes.
· Let your creative spirit roam free with art, music, dance, and dealing with social issues.
· Focus on determining what it will take to not repeat the mistake/action.
· Do not take my humanness so seriously.
If someone wants to engage in an extended discussion about “my bad” perhaps I can take a cue from the sign off of Porky Pig on Looney tunes,
'Th-th-th-that's all folks!'
Written January 30, 2016
I just made a very unfortunate mistake. For some reason I was not thinking about the two-hour time difference between where I live in Florida and where my mother, who is celebrating her 96thbirthday today, lives in Oklahoma. I certainly know it is a two-hour time difference but in my haste to make sure I called her prior to doing some work today, I “forgot.” Not surprisingly, despite her insistence that she is always up very early, she was still sleeping. As is the case with all of us, but perhaps more so as we age, she got very confused and then fearful that she had overslept. I then emailed one of my sisters who will see her today and let her know what I had done knowing she would have to deal with any fallout from the fact that my brain took a mini-vacation! The phrase which immediately came to mind, but which I did not utter to my mother or sister was, “my bad.” The phrase seems to be in such common usage these days that it even come to the forefront of this aged mind! This got me to thinking about the etiology of this phrase.
When I goggled it, one of the hits was the site “phrases.org.uk.” There I was informed that:
This slang term originated in about 1970. At that time, that is, pre the widespread use of the Internet, slang terms often circulated at street level for many years before being adopted by anyone who felt inclined to write them down. That's clearly not the case any longer of course and any word or phrase that is widely known is dateable quite precisely via website logs.
The first citation in print is C. Wielgus and A. Wolff's, 'Back-in-your-face Guide to Pick-up Basketball' 1986:
"My bad, an expression of contrition uttered after making a bad pass or missing an opponent."
I certainly did not become aware of it until a few years ago and only recently was I consciously aware of how often it is used by others and now even by this old codger.
I was further informed of something even more surprising:
“Shakespeare used the term with something like the current meaning, in his Sonnet 112:
Your love and pity doth the impression fill
Which vulgar scandal stamp'd upon my brow;
For what care I who calls me well or ill,
So you o'er-green my bad, my good allow?”
Clearly in the example I am using this morning, I was at fault for calling at such an early hour and thus being responsible for starting the morning for my aged mother in a very, to her, upsetting manner. None of us likes to be caught so unaware or to have someone “be present” via phone or in person when we are feeing confused, cannot focus and, thus, feel vulnerable. That is a very uncomfortable feeling for any of us at any age. The longer it takes for us to fully wake up and be present, the longer the discomfort lasts.
There is no disputing the fact that my action was responsible for my mother’s discomfort. I owe her and my sister(s) who will be with her today to help her get ready for the planned birthday celebration an apology for “my bad”. Two of my sisters, who because they live in Oklahoma relatively near our mother, are the ones who assume the responsibility for helping to nurture/take care of her and calm her when she is feeling out of sorts for whatever reason.
I did, of course, apologize to my sister who is likely to see our mother first or who mother is likely to call first. I later also called and apologized to mother who seemed to not remember that I had called earlier. She was anxious about the day since it included more activity that her normal day does these days.
The incident reminded me not only about the adoption of use of slang terms in each period of history but that often it is still the “young street people” who lead the way. Changes often begin with the young people who may assert their independence by breaking away from the larger culture with their own music, dress/grooming, and certainly language. Eventually, the larger culture may adopt or co-opt some of those changes which then, of course, “…means that the “rebellious ones” have to find a new mode of dress/grooming, music or new language to differentiate themselves. The “rebellious ones” might be shocked to learn that frequently what they thought was original was, in fact, originated by one of their predecessors. Such is the case with “my bad.” These same young people who are rebelling might be shocked to learn that Shakespeare had “been there, done that.”
Consider the phrase “There is nothing new under the sun.” Even this phrase itself was or a version of it can be found in such diverse places as Ecclesiastes 1:9 (“the thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.” and Marcus Aurelius in Meditations:
“Consider for example, and thou wilt find that almost all of the transactions in the time of Vespasian differed little from those of the present day. Thou there findest marrying and giving in marriage, educating children, sickness, death, war, joyous holidays, traffic, agriculture, flatterers, insolent pride, suspicions, laying of plots, longing for the death of others, newsmongers, lovers, misers, men canvassing for the consulship and for the kingdom;—yet all these passed away, and are nowhere.”—Craufurd Tait Ramage, Familiar Quotations from Greek Authors, p. 47 (1895, reprinted 1968). (bartleby.com)
One of the reasons why I appreciate the phrase “my bad” as well as the above quotes from Marcus Aurelius and Ecclesiastes, is that they remind me that it is no big deal to make a mistake. “My bad” says to me that, “Yes a mistake was made and an effort will be made to avoid that mistake in the future.” This is no chest beating or dramatic acts of contrition. We humans make mistakes. It will be very reassuring to self and others that I or you are going to attempt to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future but we do not have to act shocked or catastrophize the situation.
“My bad” does not make excuses, write a blog about (LOL) the situation, or otherwise carry on about it It says, “I own it. It was not intentional or, if it was then it was not ethical/appropriate, kind/helpful. I am not making light of my action, but I am not going to fall on my sword either. You will either forgive me or not. I am going to forgive myself and, if I need to and there is a way to do it, I will make amends.”
Historically many speakers in the old and new Testament do not do well with “my bad,” but as I just pointed out with the quote from Ecclesiastes and some of the teachings attributed to Jesus, there are times when one is reminded that “my bad” is sufficient.
This morning I was reading the Tampa Tribute about the arrest of a police officer who fabricated a story about why he shot a passenger in a car he had stopped for possible DUI. Fortunately the person he shot is not dead. The officer is now charged with attempted murder. I have no idea why the officer drew his gun and shot the man even though his body camera clearly shows that there was no reason to do so (I am not going to herein address the issues of why we give lethal weapons to law enforcement personnel). Clearly the reason for the action of this officer needs to be determined. Does he has situational issues, a historical issue with his temper, another emotional/psychological issues, or a medical issue? I have no idea. This is an important issue. Perhaps he is not healthy enough to be an armed law enforcement person. Perhaps he can be treated. We have, in this country, created a mood/atmosphere in which it is impossible to say, “My bad. I need some help.”
Most importantly, perhaps, I want to be mindful that often it is the young person who may remind me of old truths such as:
· Have fun with costuming/clothes.
· Let your creative spirit roam free with art, music, dance, and dealing with social issues.
· Focus on determining what it will take to not repeat the mistake/action.
· Do not take my humanness so seriously.
If someone wants to engage in an extended discussion about “my bad” perhaps I can take a cue from the sign off of Porky Pig on Looney tunes,
'Th-th-th-that's all folks!'
Written January 30, 2016
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