My essence is contained in my sneakers?
This morning, while at the gym, I was listening to an episode of Us and Them hosted by West Virginia Public Radio. Trey Kay brings stories of West Virginians which are essentially the stories of all of us whether living in the United States in this decade or in Egypt in the days of the Pharaohs. Throughout recorded history humans have been dividing ourselves into us and them. The goal, of course, is to convince ourselves and others that we are worthwhile because we are more worthwhile than “them”. This morning I was listening to an episode of Us and Them which recounted the experience of Mr. Kay and some of his former classmates at a high school in Charleston West Virginia. In this locale, the first sorting took placed based upon whether one was a “hiller” or “creeker”. The hillers tended to be those who families who lived on the hill and made decent money as professionals or business owners. The creekers were those who lived in the valley and whose families were the working class who make less money. There were also some who were bused in from nearby rural communities.
The hillers often came to school with brand name clothes and expensive sneakers. The creekers might buy their shoes at a discount shoe store such as Picway. If one wore shoes from Picway one was immediately identified by some of one’s classmates as being less than based solely on the what the shoes represented to one’s classmates. If one was lucky enough to come to school with a lot of self-confidence – knowing one’s worth – one was not traumatized by the need to be seen as someone of worth. If, however, one did not have a lot of self-confidence one might be deeply affected by the designation. If one was identified as a creeker than one had to overcome all that label represented. If one was a hiller one had the pressure of maintaining that label.
The labels are different in different locations and in different historical times, but the damage the internalization of the labels does is the same. The labels can be based on race, size, cultural concepts of beauty, sexual orientation, perceived wealth, “coolness”, athletic abilities, inherited power, family community status or some other factors. The important point is that the existential dilemma or issue for all humans is deciding if:
If we are very lucky we come to the realization that it is enough to be us with our particular strengths and limitations which may or may not be the standards in the community in which one is raised or where one is living as an adult. Sadly, many of us do not figure this out in our youth and we may not figure it out during our adult years. Many people in their eighth or ninth decade may still be attempting to prove their worth to “them”.
The secret, of course, is that we can determine in our own mind and heart if we are all “us”; that we do not have to have a particular car, house, job, religion, race, sexual orientation, ableness or any other temporary quality or thing to prove our worth. In fact, we do not have to prove our worth at all. If and when we attain a very spiritual state of being, we know our essence, and thus our worth, is in our humanness with all our individual strengths and limitations.
It is tempting as a parent to try to protect our children from having to deal with this existential angst! Consequently, we might try to protect our children by ensuring that they have the latest sneakers, smart phone, car or some other “thing” so that they will be accepted by the “in” crowd. Yet, the best gift we can give our children might be to help them learn that they are enough – that they do not have to prove their worth to anyone. Of course, it is all well and good if a parent keeps telling their children this truth. Yet, we know that what one’s peers think may be more powerful than anything the parents say. Depending on where we live we can introduce our children to a diverse group of peers whose values may be different than the us and them distinctions in their schools. Museums, lectures, musical events, festivals, movies and other community resources can often help children see that the world is much larger than the school that they attend. Even though the existential dilemma might be the same in many cultures the fact that each culture or group has a different standard may help children question the standards which divide their school into us and them.
As I have shared, one of the Tee shirts one of the wait staff was wearing at Home girl restaurant said, “There is no us and them. There is only “we”.”
In a past blog I wrote about the concept of Ubuntu which is a Nguni Bantu term usually translated as “humanity”. Ubuntu does not allow for us and them – only Ubuntu.
We are not our sneakers. We are our humanity!
Written August 24, 2017
This morning, while at the gym, I was listening to an episode of Us and Them hosted by West Virginia Public Radio. Trey Kay brings stories of West Virginians which are essentially the stories of all of us whether living in the United States in this decade or in Egypt in the days of the Pharaohs. Throughout recorded history humans have been dividing ourselves into us and them. The goal, of course, is to convince ourselves and others that we are worthwhile because we are more worthwhile than “them”. This morning I was listening to an episode of Us and Them which recounted the experience of Mr. Kay and some of his former classmates at a high school in Charleston West Virginia. In this locale, the first sorting took placed based upon whether one was a “hiller” or “creeker”. The hillers tended to be those who families who lived on the hill and made decent money as professionals or business owners. The creekers were those who lived in the valley and whose families were the working class who make less money. There were also some who were bused in from nearby rural communities.
The hillers often came to school with brand name clothes and expensive sneakers. The creekers might buy their shoes at a discount shoe store such as Picway. If one wore shoes from Picway one was immediately identified by some of one’s classmates as being less than based solely on the what the shoes represented to one’s classmates. If one was lucky enough to come to school with a lot of self-confidence – knowing one’s worth – one was not traumatized by the need to be seen as someone of worth. If, however, one did not have a lot of self-confidence one might be deeply affected by the designation. If one was identified as a creeker than one had to overcome all that label represented. If one was a hiller one had the pressure of maintaining that label.
The labels are different in different locations and in different historical times, but the damage the internalization of the labels does is the same. The labels can be based on race, size, cultural concepts of beauty, sexual orientation, perceived wealth, “coolness”, athletic abilities, inherited power, family community status or some other factors. The important point is that the existential dilemma or issue for all humans is deciding if:
- One is worthwhile as a human being without having to constantly prove it based on some external factor.
- One’s worth is dependent on what the community or some particular person(s) decides is the symbol of worth – money, status, power, profession, size, costume or whatever.
If we are very lucky we come to the realization that it is enough to be us with our particular strengths and limitations which may or may not be the standards in the community in which one is raised or where one is living as an adult. Sadly, many of us do not figure this out in our youth and we may not figure it out during our adult years. Many people in their eighth or ninth decade may still be attempting to prove their worth to “them”.
The secret, of course, is that we can determine in our own mind and heart if we are all “us”; that we do not have to have a particular car, house, job, religion, race, sexual orientation, ableness or any other temporary quality or thing to prove our worth. In fact, we do not have to prove our worth at all. If and when we attain a very spiritual state of being, we know our essence, and thus our worth, is in our humanness with all our individual strengths and limitations.
It is tempting as a parent to try to protect our children from having to deal with this existential angst! Consequently, we might try to protect our children by ensuring that they have the latest sneakers, smart phone, car or some other “thing” so that they will be accepted by the “in” crowd. Yet, the best gift we can give our children might be to help them learn that they are enough – that they do not have to prove their worth to anyone. Of course, it is all well and good if a parent keeps telling their children this truth. Yet, we know that what one’s peers think may be more powerful than anything the parents say. Depending on where we live we can introduce our children to a diverse group of peers whose values may be different than the us and them distinctions in their schools. Museums, lectures, musical events, festivals, movies and other community resources can often help children see that the world is much larger than the school that they attend. Even though the existential dilemma might be the same in many cultures the fact that each culture or group has a different standard may help children question the standards which divide their school into us and them.
As I have shared, one of the Tee shirts one of the wait staff was wearing at Home girl restaurant said, “There is no us and them. There is only “we”.”
In a past blog I wrote about the concept of Ubuntu which is a Nguni Bantu term usually translated as “humanity”. Ubuntu does not allow for us and them – only Ubuntu.
We are not our sneakers. We are our humanity!
Written August 24, 2017
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