New Year’s Eve – 2016
As is true for many people, I have some traditions for today and for the first day of the new year. I like to put away holiday decorations and clean the physical space. Since I had some free time earlier in the week, the few holiday decorations I had out are already put away. I have started on physical cleaning and will finish today or tomorrow. I have also cleaned out the fruit bowl and made fresh squeezed orange juice and apple sauces. I will finish cleaning and scrubbing the inside of the refrigerator. While cleaning, I will take note of the stack of books that I “had to have” but have yet to finish reading. There is also the stack of correspondence courses I want to soon complete so that I have all the continuing education credits I need to renew my professional license this year. Just as important is an attempt to gain new or revised knowledge/professional guesses about treatment options for various addiction and mental health illnesses.
The other areas of cleaning are emotional and spiritual. This will involve the use of a variation of the 12-step program that this greedy person has borrowed from the founders of AA and which has been adapted for other additive disorders. I have previously written extensively on the 12-step program, but being the human that I am, it is necessary for me to daily revisit portions of this 12-step prescription for growth and periodically throughout the year do a more extensive review. I do not need to share all the nitty gritty and often boring details of the debris of my life which I will attempt to scrub away with the steps, but here is a brief outline of the steps:
1. I admitted that I am powerless over other people, places and things. When I try to control other people, places or things my life becomes unmanageable.
2. I came to believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. When I try to go it alone and do not acknowledge that I am a tiny piece of a connected whole I am unable to focus or maintain any semblance of sanity!
3. Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my higher power as I understand it/her/him. If I do not behave in a manner which is in sync with the rest of the universe I cannot be there for myself for anyone else. It is easy for me to forget this and begin to think act as if I am a solo act
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. For me this means that I need to quit blaming others and focus on the decisions I made which are not consistent with my spiritual/moral beliefs and goals. Holding on to them saps my energy and keeps me distant from myself, others and the universe(s).
5. Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. I want to be honest with myself and honest with others. Sharing also reaffirms my common humanness – the fact my “sins/wrongs” are not different than those of others. I am not worse or better than others.
6. I was entirely ready to have the God of my understanding remove these defects of character. For me this means that I am letting go of my attachment to these defects/behaviors. I will not keep them in reserve just in case and then justify the use of them.
7. Humbly asked Him/Her/it to remove these shortcoming. I remind myself it is safe to breathe and to trust that I can let go – that with the help of my higher power and the support of spiritual mentors/guides I can claim the strength I need to let go of these behaviors.
8. Made a list of all persons I have harmed and become willing to make amends. If I have faithfully done this on a daily basis I may not find much remaining work to be done although the more open I become the better my “memory” for those I have harmed.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them and others. If I have uncovered some I had “forgotten” now is the time to make those amends unless it would be harmful to do so. If I am not sure I can discuss with trusted friends/mentors/spiritual guides.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when I am wrong promptly admitted it. This is one which can be frightening for me and, if not careful, I will look for ways to avoid by blaming others. If I get angry, for example I can “point out” what the other was doing wrong. The truth is that I have committed to myself to work to let go of anger and when I am angry and mean/unkind I want to take responsibility and admit my part in any negative interaction.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding, praying for His/Her/Its will for me and the courage of do the next right thing.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, I will try to carry this message to other and to practice these principles in all aspects of my life.
I also want to remember to silently thank Bill W and Dr Bob for the gift of these steps. Other religions/programs/philosophies have versions of these same steps. They all offer basically the same, wise advise that deeply spiritual men and women have always recommended.
In my mind all of us are a work in progress. I hope and pray for a clearer understanding of what it means to work a daily program of spiritual growth. I also hope and pray for a sense of humor while I do so. The lack of a sense of humor will stop me from growing and enjoying the journey one step at a time..
Written December 31, 2016
As is true for many people, I have some traditions for today and for the first day of the new year. I like to put away holiday decorations and clean the physical space. Since I had some free time earlier in the week, the few holiday decorations I had out are already put away. I have started on physical cleaning and will finish today or tomorrow. I have also cleaned out the fruit bowl and made fresh squeezed orange juice and apple sauces. I will finish cleaning and scrubbing the inside of the refrigerator. While cleaning, I will take note of the stack of books that I “had to have” but have yet to finish reading. There is also the stack of correspondence courses I want to soon complete so that I have all the continuing education credits I need to renew my professional license this year. Just as important is an attempt to gain new or revised knowledge/professional guesses about treatment options for various addiction and mental health illnesses.
The other areas of cleaning are emotional and spiritual. This will involve the use of a variation of the 12-step program that this greedy person has borrowed from the founders of AA and which has been adapted for other additive disorders. I have previously written extensively on the 12-step program, but being the human that I am, it is necessary for me to daily revisit portions of this 12-step prescription for growth and periodically throughout the year do a more extensive review. I do not need to share all the nitty gritty and often boring details of the debris of my life which I will attempt to scrub away with the steps, but here is a brief outline of the steps:
1. I admitted that I am powerless over other people, places and things. When I try to control other people, places or things my life becomes unmanageable.
2. I came to believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. When I try to go it alone and do not acknowledge that I am a tiny piece of a connected whole I am unable to focus or maintain any semblance of sanity!
3. Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my higher power as I understand it/her/him. If I do not behave in a manner which is in sync with the rest of the universe I cannot be there for myself for anyone else. It is easy for me to forget this and begin to think act as if I am a solo act
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. For me this means that I need to quit blaming others and focus on the decisions I made which are not consistent with my spiritual/moral beliefs and goals. Holding on to them saps my energy and keeps me distant from myself, others and the universe(s).
5. Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. I want to be honest with myself and honest with others. Sharing also reaffirms my common humanness – the fact my “sins/wrongs” are not different than those of others. I am not worse or better than others.
6. I was entirely ready to have the God of my understanding remove these defects of character. For me this means that I am letting go of my attachment to these defects/behaviors. I will not keep them in reserve just in case and then justify the use of them.
7. Humbly asked Him/Her/it to remove these shortcoming. I remind myself it is safe to breathe and to trust that I can let go – that with the help of my higher power and the support of spiritual mentors/guides I can claim the strength I need to let go of these behaviors.
8. Made a list of all persons I have harmed and become willing to make amends. If I have faithfully done this on a daily basis I may not find much remaining work to be done although the more open I become the better my “memory” for those I have harmed.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them and others. If I have uncovered some I had “forgotten” now is the time to make those amends unless it would be harmful to do so. If I am not sure I can discuss with trusted friends/mentors/spiritual guides.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when I am wrong promptly admitted it. This is one which can be frightening for me and, if not careful, I will look for ways to avoid by blaming others. If I get angry, for example I can “point out” what the other was doing wrong. The truth is that I have committed to myself to work to let go of anger and when I am angry and mean/unkind I want to take responsibility and admit my part in any negative interaction.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding, praying for His/Her/Its will for me and the courage of do the next right thing.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, I will try to carry this message to other and to practice these principles in all aspects of my life.
I also want to remember to silently thank Bill W and Dr Bob for the gift of these steps. Other religions/programs/philosophies have versions of these same steps. They all offer basically the same, wise advise that deeply spiritual men and women have always recommended.
In my mind all of us are a work in progress. I hope and pray for a clearer understanding of what it means to work a daily program of spiritual growth. I also hope and pray for a sense of humor while I do so. The lack of a sense of humor will stop me from growing and enjoying the journey one step at a time..
Written December 31, 2016
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