No more apologies for being who we are
Many of us have had the experience of having a label which accurately describes who we proudly are and accepting that label as a negative which makes us feel even worse about ourselves.
While at the gym this morning I was listening to Terry Gross the host of the podcast Fresh Air, interview the NBC journalist Andrea Mitchell who is receiving a lifetime achievement Emmy award on the 24th of this month. Both of these very powerful women were also gratefully remembering another colleague who died this week, Cokey Roberts. I highly recommend listening to this podcast. One can download the app to one’s phone.
At one point Ms. Gross asked Ms. Mitchell if, in the early days when she was fighting the male dominated world of journalism, she considered herself a feminist. (Merriam- Webster defines feminism as “the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.” ) Ms. Mitchell said she did consider herself an early feminist.
At one level it surprises me that so many people continue to use words such as feminism as a negative. In fact many of the very accomplished women I know would not accept the label of feminist. Yet, if one pressed them further about whether they believe in the political, economic and social equality of the sexes most would reply that they do. Others continue to maintain that women and men need to accept “their place” of assigned and very important roles. Yet very same women often are forced by circumstances to take on other roles in which often excel.
There are many other terms which many will reject while embracing the qualities or behavior which the label is meant to convey. All of us want to be liked and respected and, yet, when we reject the labels which describe the core of who we are we do ourselves and the larger community a disservice.
When members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community begin to public proclaim their pride; when member of the black community began to embrace their blackness; when some woman began to drop their “Southern I am a Lady” persona and get in the face of those who expected them to “act like a lady” which often mean letting anyone with a penis tell them who and what they were and could be they welcomed terms such as radical feminist.
The idea that a simple difference in chromosomes, having the ability to grow, carry and give birth to a child, and possess well developed mammary glands to feed a child should also limit one’s ability to be a journalist, an engineer or a host of other positions which had been given to the roles of males is actually as ridiculous as it sounds.
The fact that, as a culture, we often confuse apples and oranges comes as no surprise. The fact that an alarming number of people will, with a straight face, claim that apples and oranges are the same fruit should alarm us. Yes there are a few biological differences in our skin pigment, our biological abilities, and to whom we might be romantically and sexually attracted but those facts have little to do with what we are capable of doing in the larger community. Yes, Communism involved a lot of corruption and mistreatment in the Soviet Union but that has to do with corruption and mistreatment and not with a more just and equitable sharing of resources. Yes, it is good if one parent can be a stay at home parent, especially when a child is young but the practical and nurturing duties involved in child care are not reliant on genitals. Some males are much better in that roles and some females are much better. Some males have a degree or job training which qualify them as the best wage earner in a family. Some females are more qualified for the wage earning role.
When we proudly take back the labels which have been turned into negatives; when we quit apologizing for who we are and what we believe we can get on with the job of creating a more just, equitable, and loving community.
Written September 19, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Many of us have had the experience of having a label which accurately describes who we proudly are and accepting that label as a negative which makes us feel even worse about ourselves.
While at the gym this morning I was listening to Terry Gross the host of the podcast Fresh Air, interview the NBC journalist Andrea Mitchell who is receiving a lifetime achievement Emmy award on the 24th of this month. Both of these very powerful women were also gratefully remembering another colleague who died this week, Cokey Roberts. I highly recommend listening to this podcast. One can download the app to one’s phone.
At one point Ms. Gross asked Ms. Mitchell if, in the early days when she was fighting the male dominated world of journalism, she considered herself a feminist. (Merriam- Webster defines feminism as “the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.” ) Ms. Mitchell said she did consider herself an early feminist.
At one level it surprises me that so many people continue to use words such as feminism as a negative. In fact many of the very accomplished women I know would not accept the label of feminist. Yet, if one pressed them further about whether they believe in the political, economic and social equality of the sexes most would reply that they do. Others continue to maintain that women and men need to accept “their place” of assigned and very important roles. Yet very same women often are forced by circumstances to take on other roles in which often excel.
There are many other terms which many will reject while embracing the qualities or behavior which the label is meant to convey. All of us want to be liked and respected and, yet, when we reject the labels which describe the core of who we are we do ourselves and the larger community a disservice.
When members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community begin to public proclaim their pride; when member of the black community began to embrace their blackness; when some woman began to drop their “Southern I am a Lady” persona and get in the face of those who expected them to “act like a lady” which often mean letting anyone with a penis tell them who and what they were and could be they welcomed terms such as radical feminist.
The idea that a simple difference in chromosomes, having the ability to grow, carry and give birth to a child, and possess well developed mammary glands to feed a child should also limit one’s ability to be a journalist, an engineer or a host of other positions which had been given to the roles of males is actually as ridiculous as it sounds.
The fact that, as a culture, we often confuse apples and oranges comes as no surprise. The fact that an alarming number of people will, with a straight face, claim that apples and oranges are the same fruit should alarm us. Yes there are a few biological differences in our skin pigment, our biological abilities, and to whom we might be romantically and sexually attracted but those facts have little to do with what we are capable of doing in the larger community. Yes, Communism involved a lot of corruption and mistreatment in the Soviet Union but that has to do with corruption and mistreatment and not with a more just and equitable sharing of resources. Yes, it is good if one parent can be a stay at home parent, especially when a child is young but the practical and nurturing duties involved in child care are not reliant on genitals. Some males are much better in that roles and some females are much better. Some males have a degree or job training which qualify them as the best wage earner in a family. Some females are more qualified for the wage earning role.
When we proudly take back the labels which have been turned into negatives; when we quit apologizing for who we are and what we believe we can get on with the job of creating a more just, equitable, and loving community.
Written September 19, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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