Sunday Musings - November 20, 2022
The story we tell ourselves
The question of what makes us uniquely human has occupied the minds of theologians, philosophers, psychologists, and other thinkers since at least when human language allowed us to communicate with ourselves, each other, and other parts of the universe. The more we learn about the way our brain’s function and the factors which affect how we form thoughts, retrieve memories, create memories and recreate memories and, thus stories, the more confused we become. We know that nutrition, chemicals, stress, genetics and other factors affect how and what reality of self we perceive. We also know certain drugs such as psychedelics can drastically alter our ability to experience a new reality including a new version of self. Other drugs and certain mental illnesses can adversely affect the self one experiences.
One evening this week I attended a symphonic performance. I watched and listened as two young performers shared their respective skills -Eunice Kim on violin and Xavier Foley on the double bass and a composer of a piece performed by the orchestra. Eunice and Xavier played so skillfully that, at times, it seemed as if the instruments were an essential part of their core.
At some point both these artists, as well as the others in the orchestra and the conductor, had all accepted that part of their story was being able to communicate via music. The composers, including Xavier, had formulated a story which allowed them to create an orchestra in their brain and then put that story down on paper (or computer) in the forms of notes and musical instructions. The music became part of their story and yet is not who they are.
At any one moment in time all of us tell ourselves a story about ourselves. We may or may not label it as a story. We may or may not be able or want to be the observer of the story while also living out the story. Many of us have had the experience of observing ourselves articulate and then perform our story. We may have been able to just observe, without judgment. or we may have added evaluative or judgmental labels. We may have taken an incident which we regretted and convinced ourselves that our essential self was defined by that story. At times many of us have so deeply regretted a behavior that we have been unable to conceive of a self-outside of that behavior. Certainly, as a society, we often label others by a thin slice of their story. They are a criminal, a mentally ill person, a killer, an addict, a sinner, a politician, or a person of a certain age, race, nationality, a religion or a gender. One often hears about “The Russians” or “The Americans” or “The Palestinians” or “The Jews”. Especially in recent years, but also in other times, we hear about “the immigrants”, “The Terrorists”, “The Democrats”, “The Republicans ” or “The MAGAs” as if these labels are who certain people are. The world may appear very neat and orderly if we can say everything which is worth saying about an individual by use of a one or two-word label. We may do the same to ourselves. We may than add yeast to that story when we fail to step back to observe or analyze the fallacy and resulting damage.
Sadly, religious leaders are vulnerable to falling into these same traps. Labels such as “sinner, saved, infidel, believer, Christian, Muslim, Christian Nationalist, Jew, evil, Satan and a host of others purport to tell the story of a certain person or group. Despite the teachings of Jesus, The Buddha’s, Mohammed and a host of others who attempted to teach the limits of such labels they continue to be used as if the “self” of that person or persons is contained within that label. This process then allows one to guilt free pass judgement on others and even send them to prison for life or kill them. When a nation goes to war, the leaders very deliberately coin labels to create “the enemy” - jap, terrorize, communist, Kurd, kook, etc.
This past week, Sean Illing, host of the podcast “The Gray Area” hosted a conversation with Gregory Burns -author, psychiatrist, neurosurgeon, professor, friend, partner perhaps father perhaps lover, human, and seemingly male. The podcast entitled “Your Identify is a story you tell yourself.” It is, I believe, well worth a listen. Dr. Burns’ most recent book The Self Delusion: The New Neuroscience of How We Invent - and Reinvent - Our Identities is also worth a read for those who want to take advantage of his extensive knowledge and musings on this subject.
Much of my professional work is inviting those with/for whom I work to consider the possibility of telling themselves a fuller, richer, more balanced story of self. Many of us have had the experience of telling ourselves, “I am weak. I am my anxiety. Depression can dictate my story. I am that person my abuser said I was. My story is limited by my most hurtful behavior. I am strong at work but weak at home. I do not know how to budget and will forever be destined to pay huge amounts of interest on credit cards so executives of those companies can go on luxurious vacations. I am just a sinner. I need to be better than X” One could compile a long list of such limiting stories.
Perhaps as we wind down the year 2022 it is a good time to ask ourselves what stories we now want as individuals, as a community and as a country to tell ourselves and make manifest reality. Perhaps it is a good time to consider the price we pay for the short-term satisfaction or convenience of limiting those stories.
Written November 20, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
The story we tell ourselves
The question of what makes us uniquely human has occupied the minds of theologians, philosophers, psychologists, and other thinkers since at least when human language allowed us to communicate with ourselves, each other, and other parts of the universe. The more we learn about the way our brain’s function and the factors which affect how we form thoughts, retrieve memories, create memories and recreate memories and, thus stories, the more confused we become. We know that nutrition, chemicals, stress, genetics and other factors affect how and what reality of self we perceive. We also know certain drugs such as psychedelics can drastically alter our ability to experience a new reality including a new version of self. Other drugs and certain mental illnesses can adversely affect the self one experiences.
One evening this week I attended a symphonic performance. I watched and listened as two young performers shared their respective skills -Eunice Kim on violin and Xavier Foley on the double bass and a composer of a piece performed by the orchestra. Eunice and Xavier played so skillfully that, at times, it seemed as if the instruments were an essential part of their core.
At some point both these artists, as well as the others in the orchestra and the conductor, had all accepted that part of their story was being able to communicate via music. The composers, including Xavier, had formulated a story which allowed them to create an orchestra in their brain and then put that story down on paper (or computer) in the forms of notes and musical instructions. The music became part of their story and yet is not who they are.
At any one moment in time all of us tell ourselves a story about ourselves. We may or may not label it as a story. We may or may not be able or want to be the observer of the story while also living out the story. Many of us have had the experience of observing ourselves articulate and then perform our story. We may have been able to just observe, without judgment. or we may have added evaluative or judgmental labels. We may have taken an incident which we regretted and convinced ourselves that our essential self was defined by that story. At times many of us have so deeply regretted a behavior that we have been unable to conceive of a self-outside of that behavior. Certainly, as a society, we often label others by a thin slice of their story. They are a criminal, a mentally ill person, a killer, an addict, a sinner, a politician, or a person of a certain age, race, nationality, a religion or a gender. One often hears about “The Russians” or “The Americans” or “The Palestinians” or “The Jews”. Especially in recent years, but also in other times, we hear about “the immigrants”, “The Terrorists”, “The Democrats”, “The Republicans ” or “The MAGAs” as if these labels are who certain people are. The world may appear very neat and orderly if we can say everything which is worth saying about an individual by use of a one or two-word label. We may do the same to ourselves. We may than add yeast to that story when we fail to step back to observe or analyze the fallacy and resulting damage.
Sadly, religious leaders are vulnerable to falling into these same traps. Labels such as “sinner, saved, infidel, believer, Christian, Muslim, Christian Nationalist, Jew, evil, Satan and a host of others purport to tell the story of a certain person or group. Despite the teachings of Jesus, The Buddha’s, Mohammed and a host of others who attempted to teach the limits of such labels they continue to be used as if the “self” of that person or persons is contained within that label. This process then allows one to guilt free pass judgement on others and even send them to prison for life or kill them. When a nation goes to war, the leaders very deliberately coin labels to create “the enemy” - jap, terrorize, communist, Kurd, kook, etc.
This past week, Sean Illing, host of the podcast “The Gray Area” hosted a conversation with Gregory Burns -author, psychiatrist, neurosurgeon, professor, friend, partner perhaps father perhaps lover, human, and seemingly male. The podcast entitled “Your Identify is a story you tell yourself.” It is, I believe, well worth a listen. Dr. Burns’ most recent book The Self Delusion: The New Neuroscience of How We Invent - and Reinvent - Our Identities is also worth a read for those who want to take advantage of his extensive knowledge and musings on this subject.
Much of my professional work is inviting those with/for whom I work to consider the possibility of telling themselves a fuller, richer, more balanced story of self. Many of us have had the experience of telling ourselves, “I am weak. I am my anxiety. Depression can dictate my story. I am that person my abuser said I was. My story is limited by my most hurtful behavior. I am strong at work but weak at home. I do not know how to budget and will forever be destined to pay huge amounts of interest on credit cards so executives of those companies can go on luxurious vacations. I am just a sinner. I need to be better than X” One could compile a long list of such limiting stories.
Perhaps as we wind down the year 2022 it is a good time to ask ourselves what stories we now want as individuals, as a community and as a country to tell ourselves and make manifest reality. Perhaps it is a good time to consider the price we pay for the short-term satisfaction or convenience of limiting those stories.
Written November 20, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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