Costuming
Many of us have various costumes. We have work costumes, housework costumes, and casual costumes. Most cultures have celebratory costumes. If the invitation says formal or black tie one knows the type of costumes that one is expected to wear. If one is attending a tribal celebration there may not be a formal invitation but it is clearly understood what costume is appropriate - often a slightly different costume for various roles. In more recent years, especially in the United States, but also, I have notice in many places in the world, costumes have become less varied and more informal. Body piercing and visible tattoos have also, for many, become part of the permanent costume. No matter how formal the occasion they are proudly visible.
For a time there was, perhaps cruelly, photos of costumes worn to the grocery stores, most notably Walmart, which were intended to evoke a laugh - perhaps a self righteous laugh. Honestly requires that I admit I often laughed at these photos of what I called Walmartians. Thankfully, I have not seen any of these for some time.
There was a time, as I recently noted in another blog, traveling by train or plane demanded business or church type attire. Although one will still see some dressed in business attire, comfort is the chief consideration for many travelers which is consistent with the decreased food service and seat comfort.
Attendance at churches and funeral homes used to require “Sunday going to church costumes”. Often for many of us these were the same costumes reserved for other special occasions. One had work clothes which doubled as play clothes, school clothes and sometimes church clothes. School clothes might double as church clothes, To our mother and many others our often patched school and church clothes were a source of shame. In her mind and the mind of some others, patched or homemade clothes told others the financial status of the family. Financial status was equated with social status which was equated with success which was equated with the extent which one found favor with god. One of the assumptions was that God favored those who worked hard, were educated, financially well off and thus morally good
Few seemed to notice that one did not have to be a moral or ethical person to amass a significant bank account and, thus, to purchase and wear certain costumes.
A part of costuming is the mask of emotion shared or not shared via facial expression and body posture. (For some COVID related masks one wears are also becoming quite distinctive.)
We often use all these aspects of costuming to create stories of those we encounter. We creates stories about one’s social status, financial success, and even moral worth.
Costumes can be great fun or they can be as uncomfortable and unhealthy as the tightly laced corsets which many women were once expected to wear. Stylish shoes, especially for females, can be designed to prevent women being able to move about freely or to escape a potential assailant.
The most dangerous aspect of costuming is not what a person is wearing (or not wearing) but in assuming that one can know the person by observing their clothing costume, tattoos, physical postures and facial expressions. Unless one is very adept at exactly miming the “dance” of the person one is observing and can duplicate that dance for some time, one will have little idea of what the other person is feeling. If one observes a group of individuals at a corporate board meeting (often still predominantly males) one might think one can know these individuals. If one observes a grieving person who has learned the art of the “stiff upper lip” one might make assumptions about the depth of their grief. If one is privy to the criminal labels, the mental health labels or or other labels of individuals one might think they can make many assumptions about the individuals. The labels become part of the costume of the individual.
It may be considered morally admirable to be able to imagine “walking in the shoes of another” or to be empathic. To be empathetic is usually defined as the ability to share and understand the feelings of other. Yet, to imagine that we “know” what another is feeling or experiencing - the nature of their life dance - is very dangerous for the observer and the observed. Unless a person feels safe and comfortable enough to be open and honest with themselves and with another, one will seldom know what the other person is feeling or experiencing.
Today my spiritual intention is to not pretend as if i can know what others are feeling while doing my best to be present with others. i want to be conscious, without judging myself, of how often I use all or any aspects of costuming to make assumptions about others.
Written October 16, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Many of us have various costumes. We have work costumes, housework costumes, and casual costumes. Most cultures have celebratory costumes. If the invitation says formal or black tie one knows the type of costumes that one is expected to wear. If one is attending a tribal celebration there may not be a formal invitation but it is clearly understood what costume is appropriate - often a slightly different costume for various roles. In more recent years, especially in the United States, but also, I have notice in many places in the world, costumes have become less varied and more informal. Body piercing and visible tattoos have also, for many, become part of the permanent costume. No matter how formal the occasion they are proudly visible.
For a time there was, perhaps cruelly, photos of costumes worn to the grocery stores, most notably Walmart, which were intended to evoke a laugh - perhaps a self righteous laugh. Honestly requires that I admit I often laughed at these photos of what I called Walmartians. Thankfully, I have not seen any of these for some time.
There was a time, as I recently noted in another blog, traveling by train or plane demanded business or church type attire. Although one will still see some dressed in business attire, comfort is the chief consideration for many travelers which is consistent with the decreased food service and seat comfort.
Attendance at churches and funeral homes used to require “Sunday going to church costumes”. Often for many of us these were the same costumes reserved for other special occasions. One had work clothes which doubled as play clothes, school clothes and sometimes church clothes. School clothes might double as church clothes, To our mother and many others our often patched school and church clothes were a source of shame. In her mind and the mind of some others, patched or homemade clothes told others the financial status of the family. Financial status was equated with social status which was equated with success which was equated with the extent which one found favor with god. One of the assumptions was that God favored those who worked hard, were educated, financially well off and thus morally good
Few seemed to notice that one did not have to be a moral or ethical person to amass a significant bank account and, thus, to purchase and wear certain costumes.
A part of costuming is the mask of emotion shared or not shared via facial expression and body posture. (For some COVID related masks one wears are also becoming quite distinctive.)
We often use all these aspects of costuming to create stories of those we encounter. We creates stories about one’s social status, financial success, and even moral worth.
Costumes can be great fun or they can be as uncomfortable and unhealthy as the tightly laced corsets which many women were once expected to wear. Stylish shoes, especially for females, can be designed to prevent women being able to move about freely or to escape a potential assailant.
The most dangerous aspect of costuming is not what a person is wearing (or not wearing) but in assuming that one can know the person by observing their clothing costume, tattoos, physical postures and facial expressions. Unless one is very adept at exactly miming the “dance” of the person one is observing and can duplicate that dance for some time, one will have little idea of what the other person is feeling. If one observes a group of individuals at a corporate board meeting (often still predominantly males) one might think one can know these individuals. If one observes a grieving person who has learned the art of the “stiff upper lip” one might make assumptions about the depth of their grief. If one is privy to the criminal labels, the mental health labels or or other labels of individuals one might think they can make many assumptions about the individuals. The labels become part of the costume of the individual.
It may be considered morally admirable to be able to imagine “walking in the shoes of another” or to be empathic. To be empathetic is usually defined as the ability to share and understand the feelings of other. Yet, to imagine that we “know” what another is feeling or experiencing - the nature of their life dance - is very dangerous for the observer and the observed. Unless a person feels safe and comfortable enough to be open and honest with themselves and with another, one will seldom know what the other person is feeling or experiencing.
Today my spiritual intention is to not pretend as if i can know what others are feeling while doing my best to be present with others. i want to be conscious, without judging myself, of how often I use all or any aspects of costuming to make assumptions about others.
Written October 16, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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