On becoming an elder
One of my greatest joys is being the adopted uncle of six-year-old Sam and 12-year-old Paul. Don’t get me wrong, I love those nieces and nephews who are the children and grandchildren of my siblings. Sadly, because of the choices I have made, I do not often see them. I do not live geographically close to any of them and seldom get the opportunity to sit and discuss issued with them as I do with Sam, Paul, and some of their friends and local neighbors. I am delighted that some of my other nieces and nephews do, on occasion, read this blog.
I appreciate this role of an elder, although I must admit that, at times, I worry that I and other elders might merely repeat to those we mentor what we were taught rather than modeling an ongoing learning process.
As I sat reading the Saint Petersburg edition of the Tampa Tribune and the Wall Street Journal after having listened to national news broadcasts while on the treadmill at the gym, I was acutely aware of the plethora of information which is now available to many of we humans. As a child, I was exposed to a very dry, non-controversial rendition of history, basic math, and English skills, safe (non-controversial) books to read, and the overhearing of an occasional political discussion between some of my adult relatives. I did have access to a few books at the school library as well as some others at the home of my paternal grandparents. At our house we did not, however, have access to electricity which precluded even the twice daily, brief news broadcasts on a.m. radio. If we did get an opportunity to attend the screening of a movie we were also exposed to the newsreels which were a brief summary of national news told from the standpoint of patriotic Americans.
We attended a conservative Christian church where we were drilled with a list of sins and the wages of the same and were often told that “nice” boys and girls did not behave in certain ways.
We did not discuss the evils of racism, sexism, ageism, use of military force or the possibility that use of nuclear weapons to end WWII was opening the door to a long history of fear. We also did not discuss such issues as why homosexuality was considered a sin or how the anti-Jewish sentiment of such famous people as Henry Ford helped to create the atmosphere for the teaching of Hitler. Neither did we discuss how the treatment of the Germans after WWI set the stage for the rise to power of Hitler and The Third Reich.
Yet, while listening to the television newscast, listening to NPR and reading the local and national newspapers this morning, I was confronted with thoughts and opinions on most of these issues. Some of the thoughts clearly endorsed what I was taught by the school text books and the conservative church. There were articles supporting the passage of Religious Freedom laws and condemning the expectations that we humans should be able to use the bathroom of the gender with which we identify. I read that John Kerry, the United States Secretary of State, was the first of his rank to visit the site where our bomb killed 140,000 people. No apology for the dropping of the bomb was forthcoming.
I also read about spacecrafts, the political campaigns, the many, many places which we humans are fighting each other, the fact that officially the United States does not count the U. S. Marines as ground forces in Iraq, corruption, the role of Pope Francis versus that of a possible President in dealing with poverty and a host of other issues.
As anyone who has spent time with children who are encouraged to pay attention and ask questions will know, many of today’s children feel free to ask about or even venture an opinion about any of these issues. Both six-year-old Sam and 12-year-old Paul feel free to question this elder about sexual orientation issues, concepts of justice, what differentiates the killing of a terrorist from the killings of a recognized government, or what differentiates the hateful language of radical, right-wing Christians from that hateful, righteous language of those we label as terrorist?
As an elder I need to be prepared to address all these issues and/or to be open to being educated with those I mentor.
I need to be able to say more than homosexuality is wrong because the bible of the Christians and some other religions use says it is. I may need to have a good understanding of the interplay between the developmental nature of our scientific knowledge and the formulation of religious rules. If Sam, Paul or other young people ask me about the relationship between the invention of the microscope and the prohibitions against wasting seeds in same sex relationships, I need to be willing to answer or explore theories with them.
I need to be able to address why economic theories support top down or bottom up approaches to attending to a more equitable distribution of resources.
Most of all, I have to be ready to suspend what I think I know and be open to being surprised with possibilities which I never before considered.
If I truly want to earn the honor of being a mentor/teacher a mere restating of opinions or worse yet dogmas will not be sufficient.
I need to help those I mentor/teach to face the fact that we both have to suspend certainty and be prepared to take action. This also opens the door to the necessity of admitting that we will make mistakes and must learn to make amends and move on.
Sam, Paul and other young people have already announced their intention “Coming. Ready or not!”
Written April 13, 2016
One of my greatest joys is being the adopted uncle of six-year-old Sam and 12-year-old Paul. Don’t get me wrong, I love those nieces and nephews who are the children and grandchildren of my siblings. Sadly, because of the choices I have made, I do not often see them. I do not live geographically close to any of them and seldom get the opportunity to sit and discuss issued with them as I do with Sam, Paul, and some of their friends and local neighbors. I am delighted that some of my other nieces and nephews do, on occasion, read this blog.
I appreciate this role of an elder, although I must admit that, at times, I worry that I and other elders might merely repeat to those we mentor what we were taught rather than modeling an ongoing learning process.
As I sat reading the Saint Petersburg edition of the Tampa Tribune and the Wall Street Journal after having listened to national news broadcasts while on the treadmill at the gym, I was acutely aware of the plethora of information which is now available to many of we humans. As a child, I was exposed to a very dry, non-controversial rendition of history, basic math, and English skills, safe (non-controversial) books to read, and the overhearing of an occasional political discussion between some of my adult relatives. I did have access to a few books at the school library as well as some others at the home of my paternal grandparents. At our house we did not, however, have access to electricity which precluded even the twice daily, brief news broadcasts on a.m. radio. If we did get an opportunity to attend the screening of a movie we were also exposed to the newsreels which were a brief summary of national news told from the standpoint of patriotic Americans.
We attended a conservative Christian church where we were drilled with a list of sins and the wages of the same and were often told that “nice” boys and girls did not behave in certain ways.
We did not discuss the evils of racism, sexism, ageism, use of military force or the possibility that use of nuclear weapons to end WWII was opening the door to a long history of fear. We also did not discuss such issues as why homosexuality was considered a sin or how the anti-Jewish sentiment of such famous people as Henry Ford helped to create the atmosphere for the teaching of Hitler. Neither did we discuss how the treatment of the Germans after WWI set the stage for the rise to power of Hitler and The Third Reich.
Yet, while listening to the television newscast, listening to NPR and reading the local and national newspapers this morning, I was confronted with thoughts and opinions on most of these issues. Some of the thoughts clearly endorsed what I was taught by the school text books and the conservative church. There were articles supporting the passage of Religious Freedom laws and condemning the expectations that we humans should be able to use the bathroom of the gender with which we identify. I read that John Kerry, the United States Secretary of State, was the first of his rank to visit the site where our bomb killed 140,000 people. No apology for the dropping of the bomb was forthcoming.
I also read about spacecrafts, the political campaigns, the many, many places which we humans are fighting each other, the fact that officially the United States does not count the U. S. Marines as ground forces in Iraq, corruption, the role of Pope Francis versus that of a possible President in dealing with poverty and a host of other issues.
As anyone who has spent time with children who are encouraged to pay attention and ask questions will know, many of today’s children feel free to ask about or even venture an opinion about any of these issues. Both six-year-old Sam and 12-year-old Paul feel free to question this elder about sexual orientation issues, concepts of justice, what differentiates the killing of a terrorist from the killings of a recognized government, or what differentiates the hateful language of radical, right-wing Christians from that hateful, righteous language of those we label as terrorist?
As an elder I need to be prepared to address all these issues and/or to be open to being educated with those I mentor.
I need to be able to say more than homosexuality is wrong because the bible of the Christians and some other religions use says it is. I may need to have a good understanding of the interplay between the developmental nature of our scientific knowledge and the formulation of religious rules. If Sam, Paul or other young people ask me about the relationship between the invention of the microscope and the prohibitions against wasting seeds in same sex relationships, I need to be willing to answer or explore theories with them.
I need to be able to address why economic theories support top down or bottom up approaches to attending to a more equitable distribution of resources.
Most of all, I have to be ready to suspend what I think I know and be open to being surprised with possibilities which I never before considered.
If I truly want to earn the honor of being a mentor/teacher a mere restating of opinions or worse yet dogmas will not be sufficient.
I need to help those I mentor/teach to face the fact that we both have to suspend certainty and be prepared to take action. This also opens the door to the necessity of admitting that we will make mistakes and must learn to make amends and move on.
Sam, Paul and other young people have already announced their intention “Coming. Ready or not!”
Written April 13, 2016
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