Our children deserve the truth
I recall an advertisement on television many years ago and one of the lines was “It is not nice to fool mother nature.” I was reminded of this when thinking of the important role or job of we parents. The lies we deliberately or, out of ignorance, pass on to them is not helpful or kind. I touched on this subject in a recent blog in which I quoted Bret Stephens’ article in the Wall Street Journal on May 17, 2016, entitled “What’s Socialism?” He was, as I noted, attempting to explain the horrifying conditions in a Venezuelan hospital to his 10-year-old son. Most of the readers of this blog will know a number of factors have contributed to devastating economic conditions in that country. The simple answer is to blame it on socialism in general, on a particular brand or implementation of socialism or on the particular political leaders. One could also blame it on the glut of oil and the resulting drop in world oil prices per barrel. The combination of factors is something which the economists, historians and others will be pouring over for years to come. The answer that Mr. Stephens gave his 10-year-old son was not overly complicated for a 10 year old. It was a lie as was the answer that he later in the article says he wished he had given his son. Mr. Stephens said:
“I told him it’s an economic system in which the government seizes and runs industry, sets prices for good, and otherwise dictates what you can and cannot do with your money, and then your life….Here is what I wish I had said: Socialism is a mental poison that leads to human misery of the sort you see in these wrenching pictures (photo what is happening in some hospitals in Venezuela)” The article was essentially a response to the candidacy of Bernie Sanders which he calls the democratic socialism which is “legalized theft in the name of the people against the vilified few.” (Wall Street Journal, May 16, 2016)
Although the answer was simple, it was not accurate and, in the long run this type of over simplistic answer is not likely to help his son or the rest of our children become better problem solvers as they enter adulthood and inherit the job of the management of families, facilities, cities, and countries.
He could, of course, have told his son that socialism is a system for sharing resources. He could have explained, “Our family is socialist. We do not have a separate washing machine, refrigerator, stove, house or other appliance for every member in the family. We pool our resources and shared them. We also have some things which we do not share. We each have certain clothes, toothbrushes, and other private things which we do not share. Along with our neighbors, as a community we pool our money and create and take care of parks, roads and many other resources that we share. Sometimes we do this as town or city and sometimes we do it as a state or as a country. We share a police force, fire fighting force, and some road building responsibility. We own them together. We also, as a community, hire and pay judges and build and maintain jails. We do not share everything. In this country private people own and run factories which grow and sell the food we eat and the cars, clothes, and many other things that we buy and use. In some countries they have experimented with all the people jointly owning the farms and factories.” He could have continued explaining to his son, by telling him that the larger the group the more difficult it is to decide what parts should be owned and run as a community and what parts individuals should own and run. He might even have offered to take his son to a small, cooperative community such as the Bruderhof or Twin Oaks. There are many small communities in the United States who operate as cooperatives on the basis of socialist beliefs.
Given that his son is 10 this might or might not be a good time to explain to him how some countries, such as the Soviet Union, did not work well. It might or might not be a good time to explain to him what happens if everyone in a family, community or country are not treated well. Later he might introduce his son to theories about political and economic systems. As we know with children – or even we adults- too much information at once can be very confusing. Generally, if we adults are paying attention, children will let us know when they cannot take in any more information – when we are giving them too much for them to understand or assimilate.
The important point is that we do not want to lie to children or to teach them there are simple answers to complicated issues such as how we create and share resources. In this country, the disparity between the very wealthy and the former so-called middle class is growing. This is resulting in a lot of social unrest. Although it is easy to use “sound bites” to explain to our children why there is so much passionate debate among political candidates and their supporters, it is not fair or kind to do so. It may also be tempting to tell our children that the reason for all the terrible fighting and resulting killing of each other in many parts of the world is that there are good people and bad people –to tell them the good people have to kill the bad people. The history and the roles that individuals and countries played in bringing us to this point are diverse and complicated. Yet, if we lie to our children by pretending that there are simple answers we are doing us and them a disservice and ultimately making the world less safe and less prepared to meet the challenges which will face us in the future.
In this and other countries we are going to continue to explore a workable intersection between various economic systems. We are also going to continue to explore social and political systems which come closer to creating a community which is inclusive, vibrant, passionate, creative and just. Certainly, no matter what the system, dividing the world into the haves and have nots - into those who “know what is best” and “those who need to be told what is best” does not work no matter what we call the system
We need to prepare our children for a world which requires, thoughtful and often complicated solutions to how we can explore ways of living together. Lying to them or feeding them half-truths is not kind, fair or realistic. Our motivation might be to protect our children from difficult truths. If not careful, we will raise children who believe that the best solution is to numb themselves because they do not feel prepared to deal with complicated social, economic and political issues.
Written May 19, 2016
I recall an advertisement on television many years ago and one of the lines was “It is not nice to fool mother nature.” I was reminded of this when thinking of the important role or job of we parents. The lies we deliberately or, out of ignorance, pass on to them is not helpful or kind. I touched on this subject in a recent blog in which I quoted Bret Stephens’ article in the Wall Street Journal on May 17, 2016, entitled “What’s Socialism?” He was, as I noted, attempting to explain the horrifying conditions in a Venezuelan hospital to his 10-year-old son. Most of the readers of this blog will know a number of factors have contributed to devastating economic conditions in that country. The simple answer is to blame it on socialism in general, on a particular brand or implementation of socialism or on the particular political leaders. One could also blame it on the glut of oil and the resulting drop in world oil prices per barrel. The combination of factors is something which the economists, historians and others will be pouring over for years to come. The answer that Mr. Stephens gave his 10-year-old son was not overly complicated for a 10 year old. It was a lie as was the answer that he later in the article says he wished he had given his son. Mr. Stephens said:
“I told him it’s an economic system in which the government seizes and runs industry, sets prices for good, and otherwise dictates what you can and cannot do with your money, and then your life….Here is what I wish I had said: Socialism is a mental poison that leads to human misery of the sort you see in these wrenching pictures (photo what is happening in some hospitals in Venezuela)” The article was essentially a response to the candidacy of Bernie Sanders which he calls the democratic socialism which is “legalized theft in the name of the people against the vilified few.” (Wall Street Journal, May 16, 2016)
Although the answer was simple, it was not accurate and, in the long run this type of over simplistic answer is not likely to help his son or the rest of our children become better problem solvers as they enter adulthood and inherit the job of the management of families, facilities, cities, and countries.
He could, of course, have told his son that socialism is a system for sharing resources. He could have explained, “Our family is socialist. We do not have a separate washing machine, refrigerator, stove, house or other appliance for every member in the family. We pool our resources and shared them. We also have some things which we do not share. We each have certain clothes, toothbrushes, and other private things which we do not share. Along with our neighbors, as a community we pool our money and create and take care of parks, roads and many other resources that we share. Sometimes we do this as town or city and sometimes we do it as a state or as a country. We share a police force, fire fighting force, and some road building responsibility. We own them together. We also, as a community, hire and pay judges and build and maintain jails. We do not share everything. In this country private people own and run factories which grow and sell the food we eat and the cars, clothes, and many other things that we buy and use. In some countries they have experimented with all the people jointly owning the farms and factories.” He could have continued explaining to his son, by telling him that the larger the group the more difficult it is to decide what parts should be owned and run as a community and what parts individuals should own and run. He might even have offered to take his son to a small, cooperative community such as the Bruderhof or Twin Oaks. There are many small communities in the United States who operate as cooperatives on the basis of socialist beliefs.
Given that his son is 10 this might or might not be a good time to explain to him how some countries, such as the Soviet Union, did not work well. It might or might not be a good time to explain to him what happens if everyone in a family, community or country are not treated well. Later he might introduce his son to theories about political and economic systems. As we know with children – or even we adults- too much information at once can be very confusing. Generally, if we adults are paying attention, children will let us know when they cannot take in any more information – when we are giving them too much for them to understand or assimilate.
The important point is that we do not want to lie to children or to teach them there are simple answers to complicated issues such as how we create and share resources. In this country, the disparity between the very wealthy and the former so-called middle class is growing. This is resulting in a lot of social unrest. Although it is easy to use “sound bites” to explain to our children why there is so much passionate debate among political candidates and their supporters, it is not fair or kind to do so. It may also be tempting to tell our children that the reason for all the terrible fighting and resulting killing of each other in many parts of the world is that there are good people and bad people –to tell them the good people have to kill the bad people. The history and the roles that individuals and countries played in bringing us to this point are diverse and complicated. Yet, if we lie to our children by pretending that there are simple answers we are doing us and them a disservice and ultimately making the world less safe and less prepared to meet the challenges which will face us in the future.
In this and other countries we are going to continue to explore a workable intersection between various economic systems. We are also going to continue to explore social and political systems which come closer to creating a community which is inclusive, vibrant, passionate, creative and just. Certainly, no matter what the system, dividing the world into the haves and have nots - into those who “know what is best” and “those who need to be told what is best” does not work no matter what we call the system
We need to prepare our children for a world which requires, thoughtful and often complicated solutions to how we can explore ways of living together. Lying to them or feeding them half-truths is not kind, fair or realistic. Our motivation might be to protect our children from difficult truths. If not careful, we will raise children who believe that the best solution is to numb themselves because they do not feel prepared to deal with complicated social, economic and political issues.
Written May 19, 2016
RSS Feed