Parents know best?
It seems to be commonly assumed that parents know what is best for their children. Recently, I have seen state and local decisions suggesting that parents are best qualified to make decisions about the content of their child’s academic studies as well as decisions about other important aspects of their son or daughter’s life. In a number of cases the state has decided for the local school board what can be taught.
Often in our culture one can hear the assertion that parents know what is best for their child. Why would anyone assume this? It may be true in some cases. Just this morning I spoke with a grandparent and parent who has regularly consulted with her village of trusted elders, friends and child experts before making a decision about some important issue affecting a child. This person is a respected, retired health care professional. Yet, she assume others may know more than her or from a distance see a point of view which she has overlooked. I also talked with another parent who, although having strong feelings about what is best for her children, called to ask my opinion.
If one is adopting a child or even becoming a foster parent, in most cases one has to undergo a rigid and extensive examination of one’s personal history, physicals and emotional health as well as an examination of one’s home. It is not assumed just because one wants to be a foster parent or an adopted parent that one has the necessary skills, emotional, physical or spiritual health. One is also generally required to undergo parenting classes
If, however, one is the biological parent (not merely a sperm donor) there is only limited requirements for being qualified parents. Assuming a child is not born with a drug addiction, is not the identified victim of some other abuse, or for some other reason the parent has come to the attention of the legal authorities, one merely has to successfully complete the implantation of the sperm into fertilized egg in order to be considered a person who know what is best for a child. Most frequently this is accomplished through sexual intercourse one time. One might be sober, drunk or otherwise impaired, emotionally healthy or unhealthy, physically healthy or unhealthy, mentally prepared to be a parent, a teenager or an older adult. One might ask how that qualifies one for becoming a parent to be an expert on a variety of subjects. Of course, it does not.
It has often been written by lay persons and by experts, that it takes a village to raise a child. In some communities the biological parents are given very little authority over the raising of a child. The community of elders assumes primary responsibility for the care and teaching of the child.
It is time we quit pretending that being able to stumble through sexual intercourse qualifies one for being a parent. Some may be qualified but many are not. We who care about children need to be make it clear when we vote for school boards members as well as state and national legislators that the ability to have intercourse does not qualify one to be a parent. At best, we members of the village need to take responsibility for raising our children to be emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually healthy. We need to make sure our children have the right to learn history as it was, to claim the gender they determine they are, to partner with the person of the same or opposite gender, to grow up to be the best of who they are emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and intellectually: to develop their particular gifts,
Written Mach 23, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpikett,org
It seems to be commonly assumed that parents know what is best for their children. Recently, I have seen state and local decisions suggesting that parents are best qualified to make decisions about the content of their child’s academic studies as well as decisions about other important aspects of their son or daughter’s life. In a number of cases the state has decided for the local school board what can be taught.
Often in our culture one can hear the assertion that parents know what is best for their child. Why would anyone assume this? It may be true in some cases. Just this morning I spoke with a grandparent and parent who has regularly consulted with her village of trusted elders, friends and child experts before making a decision about some important issue affecting a child. This person is a respected, retired health care professional. Yet, she assume others may know more than her or from a distance see a point of view which she has overlooked. I also talked with another parent who, although having strong feelings about what is best for her children, called to ask my opinion.
If one is adopting a child or even becoming a foster parent, in most cases one has to undergo a rigid and extensive examination of one’s personal history, physicals and emotional health as well as an examination of one’s home. It is not assumed just because one wants to be a foster parent or an adopted parent that one has the necessary skills, emotional, physical or spiritual health. One is also generally required to undergo parenting classes
If, however, one is the biological parent (not merely a sperm donor) there is only limited requirements for being qualified parents. Assuming a child is not born with a drug addiction, is not the identified victim of some other abuse, or for some other reason the parent has come to the attention of the legal authorities, one merely has to successfully complete the implantation of the sperm into fertilized egg in order to be considered a person who know what is best for a child. Most frequently this is accomplished through sexual intercourse one time. One might be sober, drunk or otherwise impaired, emotionally healthy or unhealthy, physically healthy or unhealthy, mentally prepared to be a parent, a teenager or an older adult. One might ask how that qualifies one for becoming a parent to be an expert on a variety of subjects. Of course, it does not.
It has often been written by lay persons and by experts, that it takes a village to raise a child. In some communities the biological parents are given very little authority over the raising of a child. The community of elders assumes primary responsibility for the care and teaching of the child.
It is time we quit pretending that being able to stumble through sexual intercourse qualifies one for being a parent. Some may be qualified but many are not. We who care about children need to be make it clear when we vote for school boards members as well as state and national legislators that the ability to have intercourse does not qualify one to be a parent. At best, we members of the village need to take responsibility for raising our children to be emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually healthy. We need to make sure our children have the right to learn history as it was, to claim the gender they determine they are, to partner with the person of the same or opposite gender, to grow up to be the best of who they are emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and intellectually: to develop their particular gifts,
Written Mach 23, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpikett,org
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