Parents of children born to teenage mothers - ages 15-19
Terry Gross, host of Fresh Air interviewed author and activist Nicole Lynn Lewis. Ms. Lewis is, by all accounts a success story who not only graduated from college after becoming a teenage mom, but has become an advocate for teen moms. Let me be clear. She is not recommending that children have children, but is honoring the fact that young people are sexual and for a variety of reasons a certain number become parents. The good news is that the number of teenage pregnancies - ages 15 -19 - haven been decreasing - In 1918-1919 the CDC recorded 171, 674 teenage births in the United States. There are no comparable statistics for those who had an abortion, miscarried or perhaps successfully used the morning after pill.
I could not locate the statistics for the average age of the male partner of the young women girls who became pregnant. Antidotal evidence indicates that some of them are peers in the same age range; some are older; some are younger.
As Ms. Lewis states, many young people do not, for a variety of reasons use birth control. It may be unavailable, too expensive, or not even considered an option. I talk to a lot of men well into their adult years who do not use a condom because they do not like how it feels, do not plan ahead, or believe it is the responsibility of the woman to use birth control. I also talk to men who make decisions to have sex when their thinking is impaired because of the use of alcohol or other drugs. There are also those young men and women who believe they can successfully use the rhythm method or the pull out method.
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The statistics I found indicate that the number of teenagers who admit having sexual intercourse has decreased slightly (2015 statistics). The overall birth rate in the United States is down for all age groups. Sadly, the CDC reports a nearly 30% increase is STDs between 2015 and 2019 (cdc.gov).
My concerns are:
· The need to Honor and even embrace the fact the physical and emotional need to connect physically and sexually begins at a very early age. Puberty may begin as early as age 9. The average age for girls is 11 and for boys 12.
· In order for a pregnancy to occur there has to be a meeting of an egg and a sperm. Egg and sperm banks make artificial insemination possible, but unless this is forced for monetary or other reasons, only consenting adults will become pregnant in this manner. Otherwise, we are talking about a sexual connection between a male and a female, but not necessarily a consenting male and female
· Sexually transmitted diseases affect both males and females of any age. For many people and especially for teenagers of both genders seeking help for sexually transmitted diseases is embarrassing.
· Being able to access abortion services is seldom legally available for teenagers in most states in the United States. Increasingly, it is difficult for any poor person to get an abortion in the United States even if the pregnancy is the result of rape and done within days or weeks of the meeting of the sperm and the egg.
· Because it is the woman who physically carries and nurtures the fetus, it is frequently her decision of whether or not to carry the fetus to full term, whether to raise the child or whether to allow another person(s) to raise the child.
· If a DNA tests identifies the biological sperm donor he can be held responsible for the shared financial support of the child until the child reaches the age of maturity which could be post high school or post college in some states. While it is true the boy made an informed or uninformed decision to share his sperm he is not necessarily an equal partner in making the decision of whether to continue the pregnancy or who is going to raise the child even though he will be required, if identified,. to pay child support. Child support may or may not include equal parenting access and rights. There has been some increased legal rights for fathers in recent years.
· Even though we know it takes a village, there has been minimal communal financial, emotional or physical support in raising a child. The success of President Biden’s proposals regarding child care assistance is not assured. In the United States we continue to act as if the nuclear family is intact; that one parent can make enough to allow the other to stay home and be the primary care taker or as if a middle class white families still can have slave labor. Grandparents and some other family members have increasingly taken over responsibility for child care. Not everyone has the luxury of this sort of assistance.
In short the legislators, clerics and others with a vested interest in the illusions and delusions of the status quo decide who has a child and who is financially, emotionally and physically responsible for a child. Teachers have assumed increased responsibility for the emotional, intellectual and physical development of children.
If the community, as represented through elected legislators and designated spiritual leaders, want to continue to make decisions about the consequence of the expression of natural biological sexual feelings and urges than the community needs to take financial, moral, emotional, and practical responsibility for the ensuing children and for the identification and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases. Humans are sexual beings who are physically maturing sexually by age 9-12, but often not trained to take on adult responsibilities until they are 22 to 30 (depending on extent of formal education/training. This means a minimum of 9 years and a possibility of 21 years of intense need for sexual release, emotional and physical closeness with someone of the opposite sex, the same sex or both. Depending on the emotional voids in the life of a child the emotional and sexual needs may be more or less welded together. If we are going to be responsible adults we need to formulate realistic plans for helping our young people embrace and honor those needs while reducing the risk of teenage pregnancies and , transmitted diseases. More abortion restrictions, less access to sexual education, the absence of safe sexual rituals, and lack of plans for deceasing sexually transmitted diseases is not acceptable. Acting as if only the female is pregnant and should shoulder the decision making is not acceptable. Acting as if the male is just a bank account to be identified and used is also not acceptable.
I believe we have a moral imperative to face these and related issues.
Written May 11, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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