People, places and things
I recall Grandma Fannie and my parents saying: “You are the company you keep.” When I first began working with and for individuals and families struggling with addiction to alcohol, drugs, power, sex, food, money and other “things” which many hope will fill the void within them, I began to hear the phrase people, places and things. This phrase is often repeated within the context of the 12 step recovery programs such as AA, NA, OA, GA, SA, SAA and others. It refers to the advice given to those newly in recovery. If one wants to change one’s habit of thinking and behavior, one needs to avoid people, places and things which could easily trigger thoughts and behavior associated with addiction. On the other hand one wants to invite healthy people into one’s circle.
I was thinking of this sage advice last evening when I attended an evening with Ron and Jeremy – Ron Scott, Jr and Jeremy Richter – at Artworks – an Art Co-op in Wheeling, WV. The event was part of third Friday which is hosted by Artworks, Art and Crafts and the Bridge and Tunnel Collective (I hope I have not neglected to give credit to anyone responsible for putting third Friday together.). Ron and Jeremy are both local writers – plays, songs, musicals, etc. – who have also collaborated on some projects. During the evening, Ron and Jeremy presented excerpts from their works with the help of local acting and singing talent. It was, for me, a magical evening made even more magical by the other artists, fans and supporters of the arts in Wheeling. Although I have found creative people in every community – no matter how large or small – in which I have lived, it seems to me that Wheeling has an unusual commitment to nurturing the talent of artists who write, sing, play music, paint, draw, sculpt, throw pots, create other clay works, or, like me, are ‘just’ passionate believers in the need to feed one’s soul. From my perspective art feeds us, challenges us to think outside our boxes and has the potential to free us from the intellectual, emotional, and sometimes religious chains with which we can intentionally and unintentionally enclose our fearful selves.
As often happens during such events, triggered emotions as seemingly diverse as fear, grief, joy, laughter, and a host of others were triggered. Even if it engendered discomfort, it challenged me to think and feel outside the boxes which I sometime hope will protect me but, in truth imprison me.
To the extent that the evening did not, for the most part, challenged me to look at political opinions and beliefs outside my current boxes, it could very well further isolate or imprison me. I know that I also need to spend time with those friends, colleagues and neighbors who challenge me to appreciate and think about the opinions and beliefs of those who may appear to be my polar opposites – of those who may have very different ways of thinking about how we need to live and work in the world.
It is very easy for this human to get stuck in ways of thinking and behaving which reinforce unhealthy and limited ways of thinking and behavior. This is true for all of us but perhaps particularly true for the person starting to let go of addictions or attachments to ways of thinking and behaving. When the addict first gets into a recovery program he or she may be in the habit of hanging around others who believe or profess to believe that one needs to run from oneself and from being a giving and receiving member of the family, community and state. In the recovering community individuals, will be exposed to like-minded people in terms of recovery, but who represent a wide range of thinking politically, culturally, sexually, religious, intellectually and spiritually. Those not in recovery but in the process of letting go of other attachments will need to be intentional about the people, places and things which reinforce or hinder letting go of attachments.
We also “know” that we both influence the people around us as well as set the environmental stage which we occupy. We are influenced by those same people and that same environmental stage.
If I want to be healthy and do more than just survive I do not want to spend my time in a literal or virtual prison. Being intentional about people, places and things begins with being clear about my goals – the type of person I want to be for myself, my community and the larger body politic. I attend such events as last evening, listen to podcasts, read articles and books and in many others ways use one of the principles exposed in the 12-step program – honesty, open mindedness, and willingness – the HOW of the program – to feed my soul and my mind.
Hats off to Jeremy, Ron and all those who make Third Friday such an energizing and valuable happening in the greater Ohio Valley.
Written April 22, 2017
I recall Grandma Fannie and my parents saying: “You are the company you keep.” When I first began working with and for individuals and families struggling with addiction to alcohol, drugs, power, sex, food, money and other “things” which many hope will fill the void within them, I began to hear the phrase people, places and things. This phrase is often repeated within the context of the 12 step recovery programs such as AA, NA, OA, GA, SA, SAA and others. It refers to the advice given to those newly in recovery. If one wants to change one’s habit of thinking and behavior, one needs to avoid people, places and things which could easily trigger thoughts and behavior associated with addiction. On the other hand one wants to invite healthy people into one’s circle.
I was thinking of this sage advice last evening when I attended an evening with Ron and Jeremy – Ron Scott, Jr and Jeremy Richter – at Artworks – an Art Co-op in Wheeling, WV. The event was part of third Friday which is hosted by Artworks, Art and Crafts and the Bridge and Tunnel Collective (I hope I have not neglected to give credit to anyone responsible for putting third Friday together.). Ron and Jeremy are both local writers – plays, songs, musicals, etc. – who have also collaborated on some projects. During the evening, Ron and Jeremy presented excerpts from their works with the help of local acting and singing talent. It was, for me, a magical evening made even more magical by the other artists, fans and supporters of the arts in Wheeling. Although I have found creative people in every community – no matter how large or small – in which I have lived, it seems to me that Wheeling has an unusual commitment to nurturing the talent of artists who write, sing, play music, paint, draw, sculpt, throw pots, create other clay works, or, like me, are ‘just’ passionate believers in the need to feed one’s soul. From my perspective art feeds us, challenges us to think outside our boxes and has the potential to free us from the intellectual, emotional, and sometimes religious chains with which we can intentionally and unintentionally enclose our fearful selves.
As often happens during such events, triggered emotions as seemingly diverse as fear, grief, joy, laughter, and a host of others were triggered. Even if it engendered discomfort, it challenged me to think and feel outside the boxes which I sometime hope will protect me but, in truth imprison me.
To the extent that the evening did not, for the most part, challenged me to look at political opinions and beliefs outside my current boxes, it could very well further isolate or imprison me. I know that I also need to spend time with those friends, colleagues and neighbors who challenge me to appreciate and think about the opinions and beliefs of those who may appear to be my polar opposites – of those who may have very different ways of thinking about how we need to live and work in the world.
It is very easy for this human to get stuck in ways of thinking and behaving which reinforce unhealthy and limited ways of thinking and behavior. This is true for all of us but perhaps particularly true for the person starting to let go of addictions or attachments to ways of thinking and behaving. When the addict first gets into a recovery program he or she may be in the habit of hanging around others who believe or profess to believe that one needs to run from oneself and from being a giving and receiving member of the family, community and state. In the recovering community individuals, will be exposed to like-minded people in terms of recovery, but who represent a wide range of thinking politically, culturally, sexually, religious, intellectually and spiritually. Those not in recovery but in the process of letting go of other attachments will need to be intentional about the people, places and things which reinforce or hinder letting go of attachments.
We also “know” that we both influence the people around us as well as set the environmental stage which we occupy. We are influenced by those same people and that same environmental stage.
If I want to be healthy and do more than just survive I do not want to spend my time in a literal or virtual prison. Being intentional about people, places and things begins with being clear about my goals – the type of person I want to be for myself, my community and the larger body politic. I attend such events as last evening, listen to podcasts, read articles and books and in many others ways use one of the principles exposed in the 12-step program – honesty, open mindedness, and willingness – the HOW of the program – to feed my soul and my mind.
Hats off to Jeremy, Ron and all those who make Third Friday such an energizing and valuable happening in the greater Ohio Valley.
Written April 22, 2017
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