Personal responsibility
Since I do not (1) like to watch football and (2) do not have access to cable television I did not tune in to either the Super Bowl game or the halftime festivities. I am aware that many do tune in to just see all the finely crafted advertisements and/or the halftime show. Some friends did forward some clips of one of the ads and the halftime show. The person who forward the clip of the halftime show had some concern that it was or should have been rated XXX or at the very least “for mature audiences only”. After watching it I could understand her concern. First let me say I thought the singing, choreography, lights and costumes were exceptionally well done. The concerns of my friend echoed some confusion I have regarding sexual advertising in our culture. When I viewed some clips of the costumes worn at the recent Grammy’s awards I experienced some similar confusion. It is clear that in both cases and in our culture in general many of the costumes or wearing apparel which are considered appropriate are intended to be very sexually appealing. The costumes seem to say, “Look at me and get turned on sexually” This is true for both men and women, but especially true for women. The baring of most of one’s breast, the outline of one nipples, the outlining of one’s crotch, posterior, and thigh can, in the right costume be very sexually appealing as is the intention. On the other hand, baring the breast to feed an infant or even being in a culture which is clothes optional is not, in my opinion, necessarily sexual and usually is not intended to me. It is also ture sexual provocative costumes are often paired with the use of alcohol or in a setting which features alcohol.
I want to be very clear that I believe that no one should ever be forced to engage in sexual activity. I think that sexual activity should be limited to two (or more ) consenting, sober/drug free, mentally abled or equal adults. I know, of course, that most teenagers are also going to engage in sexual activity and should follow the same rules. These rules need to be absolute.
I believe we all have some responsibility to send clear, non-contradictory messages to others about our readiness for sexual activity. If someone’s costume and manner is saying, “See me as a sexual object.” they can expect to be treated as a sexual object. If there is alcohol or other drugs being used then the message is even more powerful. If there is alcohol or other drugs plus plus young people at the height of their hormonal driven bodies, then a sexually provocative costume is particularly powerful.
Let me be clear about the research which the Clothesline Project clearly demonstrates: People can and do get raped no matter what they are wearing or not wearing. Women and men wearing the most austere, unprovocative costume get sexually assaulted. Rape is about power and not about sex.
I love costuming. All clothes, body paint, tattoos, piercings, makeup and other decorations are a part of costuming. Clothes or costume designs are great fun and often an art form. Many of us love dressing up whether it be in or oil field costume, farming costume, office costume or date night costume . We can and should have great fun with all of them as well as be practical. (I am old enough to remember when women finally insisted on wearing sensible costumes including slacks to perform many jobs .)
I believe we need to consider the message we want to send via our choice of costume and what we expect others to do with that message. At the very least I believe it would be helpful to have respectful, honest discussions about this confusing issue – confusing at least to this human.
Written February 3, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Since I do not (1) like to watch football and (2) do not have access to cable television I did not tune in to either the Super Bowl game or the halftime festivities. I am aware that many do tune in to just see all the finely crafted advertisements and/or the halftime show. Some friends did forward some clips of one of the ads and the halftime show. The person who forward the clip of the halftime show had some concern that it was or should have been rated XXX or at the very least “for mature audiences only”. After watching it I could understand her concern. First let me say I thought the singing, choreography, lights and costumes were exceptionally well done. The concerns of my friend echoed some confusion I have regarding sexual advertising in our culture. When I viewed some clips of the costumes worn at the recent Grammy’s awards I experienced some similar confusion. It is clear that in both cases and in our culture in general many of the costumes or wearing apparel which are considered appropriate are intended to be very sexually appealing. The costumes seem to say, “Look at me and get turned on sexually” This is true for both men and women, but especially true for women. The baring of most of one’s breast, the outline of one nipples, the outlining of one’s crotch, posterior, and thigh can, in the right costume be very sexually appealing as is the intention. On the other hand, baring the breast to feed an infant or even being in a culture which is clothes optional is not, in my opinion, necessarily sexual and usually is not intended to me. It is also ture sexual provocative costumes are often paired with the use of alcohol or in a setting which features alcohol.
I want to be very clear that I believe that no one should ever be forced to engage in sexual activity. I think that sexual activity should be limited to two (or more ) consenting, sober/drug free, mentally abled or equal adults. I know, of course, that most teenagers are also going to engage in sexual activity and should follow the same rules. These rules need to be absolute.
I believe we all have some responsibility to send clear, non-contradictory messages to others about our readiness for sexual activity. If someone’s costume and manner is saying, “See me as a sexual object.” they can expect to be treated as a sexual object. If there is alcohol or other drugs being used then the message is even more powerful. If there is alcohol or other drugs plus plus young people at the height of their hormonal driven bodies, then a sexually provocative costume is particularly powerful.
Let me be clear about the research which the Clothesline Project clearly demonstrates: People can and do get raped no matter what they are wearing or not wearing. Women and men wearing the most austere, unprovocative costume get sexually assaulted. Rape is about power and not about sex.
I love costuming. All clothes, body paint, tattoos, piercings, makeup and other decorations are a part of costuming. Clothes or costume designs are great fun and often an art form. Many of us love dressing up whether it be in or oil field costume, farming costume, office costume or date night costume . We can and should have great fun with all of them as well as be practical. (I am old enough to remember when women finally insisted on wearing sensible costumes including slacks to perform many jobs .)
I believe we need to consider the message we want to send via our choice of costume and what we expect others to do with that message. At the very least I believe it would be helpful to have respectful, honest discussions about this confusing issue – confusing at least to this human.
Written February 3, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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