“Please, let me blame the other.”
I am writing on February 20, 2016. It is an election year in the United States; an election year which includes a rich business man who takes no prisoners and is very egalitarian in who he chooses to insult, a woman whose history continues, it seems, to include some serious errors of judgment, a democratic socialist, a man whose constitutional right to be president is being questioned, a couple of men who who seem to be the darling of the evangelical Christian, a past governor who is also the son and the brother of past presidents and several others.
Anyone who decides to run for such an important office knows that they are putting themselves in a no-hold barred fight. It seems any insult, the revelation of past demonstration of humanness by any of one’s opponents, or questioning of motives or associations is allowed.
Clearly the most interesting of the candidates is the business man who one might be tempted to say has made an art form out of insulting individuals and groups of people except one would hesitate to insult artists by referring to his behavior as an art form. Most interesting is that this crass person is hugely popular. At a time when political unrest and violent conflict is rampant throughout the world and we, as a nation, continue to make it our business to beat the swords into plowshares with bombs and other weapons of mass destruction, it seems as if many in the United States are determined to elect this man who only 32 percent of Republicans see as compassionate and 42 percent see as likeable. Yet, 86 % of GOP polled say Trump can win in November (Associated Press Article by Bill Barrow and Jill Colvin published in Tampa Tribune on February 20, 1976, page 4).
Mr. Trump, the other political candidates and the current leadership of the United States seem to make it very easy to justify pointing the finger rather than examining one’s own actions and motivations.
I recall being a member of the Racial Justice committee in Wheeling, WV in the 1980ies. Members of this committee were often charged with the responsibility of speaking to students and others about racial justice. Our first assignment, and a periodic one thereafter, was to write a paper on “How I learned to be racist.” or perhaps it was, “When did I learn to be a racist?” I recall writing about my first experience of knowingly using racism in an attempt to shift blame for something I had done at age 5. I had been haunted by this memory for as long as I could recall. Even at 5 years old, I knew it was wrong and felt very guilty. Every member of the committee, regardless of race, had similar stories. Through telling our stories we hoped to make it safe enough for others to accept that all of us learned in subtle and not so subtle ways to be racist. Nothing, including race, mitigated that learning process. We had all, no matter how much we attempted to be part of the solution/part of the healing process, been part of the process of feeding racism. As with with all other processes of healing/growing, we had to be willing to be honest with ourselves and then with others. While this approach did not insure that others would change, it allowed for that possibility. So it is that at this important time in the history of the United States if I truly want change I have to be willing to look at all the biases and overly simplistic solutions that I bring to the table. The danger in that I will dismiss the 86% of Republicans (or whatever number are the results de jour) in the same way that Mr. Trump says that he is willing to dismiss or keep out all Muslims, build a wall to keep out all immigrants coming to the United States via way of Mexico or rely even more on military strength.
It is not fair or helpful if I merely deny that I can see the attraction of labeling some person or group as one’s enemy. I have heard myself think and even say things such as, “Let’s forcibly lock on the politicians in a room or perhaps on different planet until they can learn to play nice.” I have more than once wanted to just walk on the other side of the street or country to avoid dealing with someone(s) I feared. I have certainly felt like throwing my computer out the window when it did behave as I expected or wanted.
One of the short essays or articles currently posted on the “On Being” NPR website is, “Life on the Mobius Strip” by Parker J. Palmer whose insightful views I have often admired.
Most readers will know that a Mobius strip is simply a strip of paper or some thin material which is bendable and turned at end before being taped together. Wikipedia describes it better: “An example of a Möbius strip can be created by taking a paper strip and giving it a half-twist, and then joining the ends of the strip together to form a loop. However, the Möbius strip is not a surface of only one exact size and shape, such as the half-twisted paper strip depicted in the illustration. Rather, mathematicians refer to the closed Möbius band as any surface that is homeomorphic to this strip. Its boundary is a simple closed curve, i.e., homeomorphic to a circle. This allows for a very wide variety of geometric versions of the Möbius band as surfaces each having a definite size and shape. For example, any rectangle can be glued to itself (by identifying one edge with the opposite edge after a reversal of orientation) to make a Möbius band. Some of these can be smoothly modeled in Euclidean space, and others cannot.”
Mr. Parker in his brief meditation on the Mobius strip says:
“The first time I saw a Möbius strip, I thought, “Amazing! That’s exactly how life works!”
Whatever is inside of us continually flows outward, helping to form or deform the world — depending on what we send out. Whatever is outside us continually flows inward, helping to form or deform us — depending on how we take it in. Bit by bit, we and our world are endlessly re-made in this eternal inner-outer exchange.
Much depends on what we choose to put into the world from within ourselves — and much depends on how we handle what the world sends back to us.” …Here's the question I've been asking myself ever since I understood that we live our lives on the Möbius strip:
"How can I make more life-giving choices about what to put into the world and how to deal with what the world sends back — choices that might bring new life to me, to others, and to the world we share?"
There are many ways to state the mirror of the Mobius strip. Jesus is alleged to have said that before we worry about the spec in the eye of another person we need to remove the log from our eye. The psychologist might say that that if the mirror image part of our brain is not there or not functional we won’t see the reflection of ourselves in the other - we won’t be able to experience empathy. Buddhists such as Pema Chodron might suggest that if we want to grow we have to appreciate the concept of shenpa – the triggering of some fear or other issues in ourselves by something by another person or event.
All wise teachers always remind us that all growth begins with claiming the courage to open our hearts and minds to another level of honestly within ourselves; that it is never about the other person. The lesson of the Mobius strip is the gift of the lesson of Mr. Trump and all other who I want to dismiss as very different than me.
Written February 20, 2015
“Please, let me blame the other.”
I am writing on February 20, 2016. It is an election year in the United States; an election year which includes a rich business man who takes no prisoners and is very egalitarian in who he chooses to insult, a woman whose history continues, it seems, to include some serious errors of judgment, a democratic socialist, a man whose constitutional right to be president is being questioned, a couple of men who who seem to be the darling of the evangelical Christian, a past governor who is also the son and the brother of past presidents and several others.
Anyone who decides to run for such an important office knows that they are putting themselves in a no-hold barred fight. It seems any insult, the revelation of past demonstration of humanness by any of one’s opponents, or questioning of motives or associations is allowed.
Clearly the most interesting of the candidates is the business man who one might be tempted to say has made an art form out of insulting individuals and groups of people except one would hesitate to insult artists by referring to his behavior as an art form. Most interesting is that this crass person is hugely popular. At a time when political unrest and violent conflict is rampant throughout the world and we, as a nation, continue to make it our business to beat the swords into plowshares with bombs and other weapons of mass destruction, it seems as if many in the United States are determined to elect this man who only 32 percent of Republicans see as compassionate and 42 percent see as likeable. Yet, 86 % of GOP polled say Trump can win in November (Associated Press Article by Bill Barrow and Jill Colvin published in Tampa Tribune on February 20, 1976, page 4).
Mr. Trump, the other political candidates and the current leadership of the United States seem to make it very easy to justify pointing the finger rather than examining one’s own actions and motivations.
I recall being a member of the Racial Justice committee in Wheeling, WV in the 1980ies. Members of this committee were often charged with the responsibility of speaking to students and others about racial justice. Our first assignment, and a periodic one thereafter, was to write a paper on “How I learned to be racist.” or perhaps it was, “When did I learn to be a racist?” I recall writing about my first experience of knowingly using racism in an attempt to shift blame for something I had done at age 5. I had been haunted by this memory for as long as I could recall. Even at 5 years old, I knew it was wrong and felt very guilty. Every member of the committee, regardless of race, had similar stories. Through telling our stories we hoped to make it safe enough for others to accept that all of us learned in subtle and not so subtle ways to be racist. Nothing, including race, mitigated that learning process. We had all, no matter how much we attempted to be part of the solution/part of the healing process, been part of the process of feeding racism. As with with all other processes of healing/growing, we had to be willing to be honest with ourselves and then with others. While this approach did not insure that others would change, it allowed for that possibility. So it is that at this important time in the history of the United States if I truly want change I have to be willing to look at all the biases and overly simplistic solutions that I bring to the table. The danger in that I will dismiss the 86% of Republicans (or whatever number are the results de jour) in the same way that Mr. Trump says that he is willing to dismiss or keep out all Muslims, build a wall to keep out all immigrants coming to the United States via way of Mexico or rely even more on military strength.
It is not fair or helpful if I merely deny that I can see the attraction of labeling some person or group as one’s enemy. I have heard myself think and even say things such as, “Let’s forcibly lock on the politicians in a room or perhaps on different planet until they can learn to play nice.” I have more than once wanted to just walk on the other side of the street or country to avoid dealing with someone(s) I feared. I have certainly felt like throwing my computer out the window when it did behave as I expected or wanted.
One of the short essays or articles currently posted on the “On Being” NPR website is, “Life on the Mobius Strip” by Parker J. Palmer whose insightful views I have often admired.
Most readers will know that a Mobius strip is simply a strip of paper or some thin material which is bendable and turned at end before being taped together. Wikipedia describes it better: “An example of a Möbius strip can be created by taking a paper strip and giving it a half-twist, and then joining the ends of the strip together to form a loop. However, the Möbius strip is not a surface of only one exact size and shape, such as the half-twisted paper strip depicted in the illustration. Rather, mathematicians refer to the closed Möbius band as any surface that is homeomorphic to this strip. Its boundary is a simple closed curve, i.e., homeomorphic to a circle. This allows for a very wide variety of geometric versions of the Möbius band as surfaces each having a definite size and shape. For example, any rectangle can be glued to itself (by identifying one edge with the opposite edge after a reversal of orientation) to make a Möbius band. Some of these can be smoothly modeled in Euclidean space, and others cannot.”
Mr. Parker in his brief meditation on the Mobius strip says:
“The first time I saw a Möbius strip, I thought, “Amazing! That’s exactly how life works!”
Whatever is inside of us continually flows outward, helping to form or deform the world — depending on what we send out. Whatever is outside us continually flows inward, helping to form or deform us — depending on how we take it in. Bit by bit, we and our world are endlessly re-made in this eternal inner-outer exchange.
Much depends on what we choose to put into the world from within ourselves — and much depends on how we handle what the world sends back to us.” …Here's the question I've been asking myself ever since I understood that we live our lives on the Möbius strip:
"How can I make more life-giving choices about what to put into the world and how to deal with what the world sends back — choices that might bring new life to me, to others, and to the world we share?"
There are many ways to state the mirror of the Mobius strip. Jesus is alleged to have said that before we worry about the spec in the eye of another person we need to remove the log from our eye. The psychologist might say that that if the mirror image part of our brain is not there or not functional we won’t see the reflection of ourselves in the other - we won’t be able to experience empathy. Buddhists such as Pema Chodron might suggest that if we want to grow we have to appreciate the concept of shenpa – the triggering of some fear or other issues in ourselves by something by another person or event.
All wise teachers always remind us that all growth begins with claiming the courage to open our hearts and minds to another level of honestly within ourselves; that it is never about the other person. The lesson of the Mobius strip is the gift of the lesson of Mr. Trump and all other who I want to dismiss as very different than me.
Written February 20, 2015
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