Powerlessness revisited. Again!
Although I am not in recovery for addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, or food I am on a spiritual journey. Truthfully, I am addicted to the idea of having more power than I have. I am not interested in political power, financial power or power over people in general. On the other hand, I am constantly having to work on acceptance of being powerless over people or situations about which I care. I hate it when I do not have the power to help my son, my siblings, my close friends or even the clients for whom I work. Just this morning I spent an hour looking for a telephone number for a psychiatrist who was working at a local hospital which suddenly closed. This doctor had recently prescribed medication for a young college student. Sadly the student has the very serious diagnosis of schizophrenia. I understand that the doctors are also feeling powerless but they do have the responsibility of contacting patients and giving them their new phone number or a referral phone number. That has not happened with this family. The family is understandably very frustrated.
I can rant and vocalize my displeasure or thoughts about professional behavior all I want, but I am powerless to change this situation. I can and have given this family the phone numbers for another mental health facility and for the local medical society office.
My responsibility is, of course, to do what I have done and to focus on my own emotional and spiritual health. Since I often work for those using the 12 step recovery program created by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob I often borrow those steps, especially the first step which is “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” For me, in this case, the step becomes “I am powerless over the closing of the hospital. I am powerless over the behavior of the professional staff who no longer work there. My continued focus over what I am powerless over will wreak havoc in all of my life and it will become unmanageable.”
Next I draw upon the wisdom of the short version of the serenity prayer as written by Reinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can
And
The wisdom to know the difference
One does not need a belief in a higher power to make use of this prayer. One does not need to be in therapy or to be a part of any formal healing program. One does need to be able to make a very practical decision to use one’s energy on what is possible. One also has to be willing to accept that it is not one’s job to change other people, places or things.
I have no control over the electric grid although I can be careful to not use more electrical power than I need. I have no control over how my family of origin, my adult children, friends, other drivers or how any other people behave. I do have control over whether I accept my powerlessness and trust that it is enough to do what I can over what I do have control over. It is not a crisis if my car will not start and I am late for an appointment. It is not a crisis or even my business if someone neglects to return a phone call fails to include me in some event. I have no control over political candidates although I can campaign for those who I believe will best serve the entire community. I have no control over the behavior of my colleagues although if I have solid evidence that they are harming someone directly I can enlist the aid of the members of the licensing board.
I have control over acceptance of my stated belief that I am only responsible for being the kindest, most responsible, honest open person I can be today. Nothing else matters except the spiritual footprint I leave today.
I do have control over how often I decide to remind myself of the serenity prayer and step 1! Many times a day!
Written October 4, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Although I am not in recovery for addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, or food I am on a spiritual journey. Truthfully, I am addicted to the idea of having more power than I have. I am not interested in political power, financial power or power over people in general. On the other hand, I am constantly having to work on acceptance of being powerless over people or situations about which I care. I hate it when I do not have the power to help my son, my siblings, my close friends or even the clients for whom I work. Just this morning I spent an hour looking for a telephone number for a psychiatrist who was working at a local hospital which suddenly closed. This doctor had recently prescribed medication for a young college student. Sadly the student has the very serious diagnosis of schizophrenia. I understand that the doctors are also feeling powerless but they do have the responsibility of contacting patients and giving them their new phone number or a referral phone number. That has not happened with this family. The family is understandably very frustrated.
I can rant and vocalize my displeasure or thoughts about professional behavior all I want, but I am powerless to change this situation. I can and have given this family the phone numbers for another mental health facility and for the local medical society office.
My responsibility is, of course, to do what I have done and to focus on my own emotional and spiritual health. Since I often work for those using the 12 step recovery program created by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob I often borrow those steps, especially the first step which is “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” For me, in this case, the step becomes “I am powerless over the closing of the hospital. I am powerless over the behavior of the professional staff who no longer work there. My continued focus over what I am powerless over will wreak havoc in all of my life and it will become unmanageable.”
Next I draw upon the wisdom of the short version of the serenity prayer as written by Reinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can
And
The wisdom to know the difference
One does not need a belief in a higher power to make use of this prayer. One does not need to be in therapy or to be a part of any formal healing program. One does need to be able to make a very practical decision to use one’s energy on what is possible. One also has to be willing to accept that it is not one’s job to change other people, places or things.
I have no control over the electric grid although I can be careful to not use more electrical power than I need. I have no control over how my family of origin, my adult children, friends, other drivers or how any other people behave. I do have control over whether I accept my powerlessness and trust that it is enough to do what I can over what I do have control over. It is not a crisis if my car will not start and I am late for an appointment. It is not a crisis or even my business if someone neglects to return a phone call fails to include me in some event. I have no control over political candidates although I can campaign for those who I believe will best serve the entire community. I have no control over the behavior of my colleagues although if I have solid evidence that they are harming someone directly I can enlist the aid of the members of the licensing board.
I have control over acceptance of my stated belief that I am only responsible for being the kindest, most responsible, honest open person I can be today. Nothing else matters except the spiritual footprint I leave today.
I do have control over how often I decide to remind myself of the serenity prayer and step 1! Many times a day!
Written October 4, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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