Questions
As many of my readers know I talk a lot about friendships in this blog. I talk about the characteristics of friendship with oneself, others, and mother earth. I talk about the art of friendship.
Since the passing of my mother on April 28th, 2016 I have been overwhelmed by the power, strength, and challenge of many friends who have offered comfort, advice, and challenges. If I could somehow capture and hold all the loving energy which has been shared with me I am sure that it would fill a stadium if not a small planet. When I posted a tribute to my mother on Facebook I received more than a hundred comments and many subsequent personal notes and phone calls. Friends have make sure that I have eaten and that I am alone only by choice. As it happens my birthday was the week following her death which proved to be another occasion for the outpouring of love and support.
For many years I have characterized friends as those who simultaneously tickled my heart and my mind. They are people who love me unconditionally while challenging me to grow emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
I was listening to the podcast of the May 5th On Being Show with Krista Tippett. The May 5th show is Pico Iyer interviewing Krista Tibbett, the usual host, about her latest book, “Becoming Wise.”
Ms. Tippett and I have several things in common including:
· Growing up in Oklahoma. I spent the first few years in Chicago but then was in Oklahoma until just past my 18th birthday.
· We both grew up with the powerful influence of those whose faith lived within the tight corset of the Southern Baptist tradition of the Christian Church.
· We both attended and graduated from a theological seminary. Ms. Tippett attended Yale and I, Princeton. Yale was my first choice, but Princeton had much nicer married student housing which was a small compromise for my wife who was so supportive of my academic pursuits.
One of the statements Ms. Tippett made about her passionately Southern Baptist grandfather was:
“So, one thing that I started thinking about in the writing of the book is about how that contradictory experience of him, but also the contradictions that were alive in my family. My grandfather, I think, had a good mind, but he had never been invited or trained to ask questions. I mean, his Bible was marked up in the most amazing way. But I think questions were fearful things for him.”
Prior to listening to this podcast I had been thinking about the issue of questions. Even when I tried my best to be a faithful, accepting member of the Southern Baptist Church, I ‘know’ that God knew that I was not doing well with blind acceptance of their teachings. In many respects their teachings and practices seem to have little to do with the life and teachings of Jesus. I could not accept that God would just choose a few people. Once we knew that there was no shortage of sperm and fewer children and women were dying in childbirth I did not understand why God would care about masturbation and same-sex relationships. What had happened to “turn the other cheek?” Did God really hate Muslim, Buddhists, and Hindus? Why were women supposed to allow men to tell them what to do? Was domestic violence really the fault of the wife? Why was racism, unequal wages, and other oppressive policies okay with the church and community leaders? Did God really get His feelings hurt so easily? Was God a male? Why not a female or, perhaps a hermaphrodite or even asexual?
I thought that perhaps my mind was just limited. Perhaps if I was more intelligent or had more faith I would have fewer questions. Perhaps I would understand why using the atomic bomb was okay. Perhaps I would be more patriotic and understand why churches had the United States flag displayed in the front of the church.
It was not until I got to college that I discovered that there was an entire academic field or discipline which did nothing but ask questions. People – usually men (that confused me) called philosophers had been debating ethical, scientific, and mathematical issues for as long as history had been recorded in a form which was currently understandable.
Suddenly I know that there were many other people who sought out colleagues and friends who thought that wisdom involved knowing that they do not know.
There was a reason that I had been consistently attracted to people via books, other media and in person who questioned all assumptions and challenged me to do the same.
Yesterday, friends, Cheryl and Carl invited me to attend a movie with them. The movie they planned to see was, “Eye in the Sky.” The movie, via a particular story, forces the viewer to confront the age old issues of whether it is moral or ethical to sacrifice the life of a person (in this case a child) in order to save the lives of many children and adults. Some of the characters seemingly find the answer very self-evident. Other characters struggled with the answer. I was very upset and disturbed by the movie. As is probably true for many of we humans, I do not want to be placed in such a situation. As a professed pacifist I was confronted with the fact that the question was not whether the characters in the movie would avoid killing. Some persons were going to be killed no matter what decision was reached.
Following the movie my friends and I went out to dinner and discussed the movie. This morphed into a discussion of whether evils existed, whether punishment was ever moral or appropriate, whether it makes sense to talk about absolute free will, and other topics.
We also challenged each other on other issues. My friend Cheryl has been challenging me to think outside of my comfort zone for many years. Nearly all of my friends do that just as I do that with them. Nearly all of my blogs challenge myself and the reader to think and rethink about a wide variety of issues. All of us want to do our part to create a more just, loving world. All of us know that we do not have the answers although if the reader wants to “listen in” on one of our often passionate discussions one might falsely think that we do think we have answers.
It seems to me that one of the markers for empathy is being able to put oneself in not only the shoes of another but the thought process and emotional state of the other. I have often been in situations where one is required to passionately argue the position of one’s so0called opponent. I am not sure that most schools require students to engage in such debates. I am not even sure if schools still have organized debate teams. I certainly hope so. The medium for debates might be art, music, speaking, writing or movement. I am not sure it matters. What matters is that we know we don’t know while passionately testing out our thoughts and theories with others.
Friends and all those who can find even a tiny bit of desire for mutual respect might benefit from more tickling of the minds and hearts of each other.
Written May 7, 2016
As many of my readers know I talk a lot about friendships in this blog. I talk about the characteristics of friendship with oneself, others, and mother earth. I talk about the art of friendship.
Since the passing of my mother on April 28th, 2016 I have been overwhelmed by the power, strength, and challenge of many friends who have offered comfort, advice, and challenges. If I could somehow capture and hold all the loving energy which has been shared with me I am sure that it would fill a stadium if not a small planet. When I posted a tribute to my mother on Facebook I received more than a hundred comments and many subsequent personal notes and phone calls. Friends have make sure that I have eaten and that I am alone only by choice. As it happens my birthday was the week following her death which proved to be another occasion for the outpouring of love and support.
For many years I have characterized friends as those who simultaneously tickled my heart and my mind. They are people who love me unconditionally while challenging me to grow emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
I was listening to the podcast of the May 5th On Being Show with Krista Tippett. The May 5th show is Pico Iyer interviewing Krista Tibbett, the usual host, about her latest book, “Becoming Wise.”
Ms. Tippett and I have several things in common including:
· Growing up in Oklahoma. I spent the first few years in Chicago but then was in Oklahoma until just past my 18th birthday.
· We both grew up with the powerful influence of those whose faith lived within the tight corset of the Southern Baptist tradition of the Christian Church.
· We both attended and graduated from a theological seminary. Ms. Tippett attended Yale and I, Princeton. Yale was my first choice, but Princeton had much nicer married student housing which was a small compromise for my wife who was so supportive of my academic pursuits.
One of the statements Ms. Tippett made about her passionately Southern Baptist grandfather was:
“So, one thing that I started thinking about in the writing of the book is about how that contradictory experience of him, but also the contradictions that were alive in my family. My grandfather, I think, had a good mind, but he had never been invited or trained to ask questions. I mean, his Bible was marked up in the most amazing way. But I think questions were fearful things for him.”
Prior to listening to this podcast I had been thinking about the issue of questions. Even when I tried my best to be a faithful, accepting member of the Southern Baptist Church, I ‘know’ that God knew that I was not doing well with blind acceptance of their teachings. In many respects their teachings and practices seem to have little to do with the life and teachings of Jesus. I could not accept that God would just choose a few people. Once we knew that there was no shortage of sperm and fewer children and women were dying in childbirth I did not understand why God would care about masturbation and same-sex relationships. What had happened to “turn the other cheek?” Did God really hate Muslim, Buddhists, and Hindus? Why were women supposed to allow men to tell them what to do? Was domestic violence really the fault of the wife? Why was racism, unequal wages, and other oppressive policies okay with the church and community leaders? Did God really get His feelings hurt so easily? Was God a male? Why not a female or, perhaps a hermaphrodite or even asexual?
I thought that perhaps my mind was just limited. Perhaps if I was more intelligent or had more faith I would have fewer questions. Perhaps I would understand why using the atomic bomb was okay. Perhaps I would be more patriotic and understand why churches had the United States flag displayed in the front of the church.
It was not until I got to college that I discovered that there was an entire academic field or discipline which did nothing but ask questions. People – usually men (that confused me) called philosophers had been debating ethical, scientific, and mathematical issues for as long as history had been recorded in a form which was currently understandable.
Suddenly I know that there were many other people who sought out colleagues and friends who thought that wisdom involved knowing that they do not know.
There was a reason that I had been consistently attracted to people via books, other media and in person who questioned all assumptions and challenged me to do the same.
Yesterday, friends, Cheryl and Carl invited me to attend a movie with them. The movie they planned to see was, “Eye in the Sky.” The movie, via a particular story, forces the viewer to confront the age old issues of whether it is moral or ethical to sacrifice the life of a person (in this case a child) in order to save the lives of many children and adults. Some of the characters seemingly find the answer very self-evident. Other characters struggled with the answer. I was very upset and disturbed by the movie. As is probably true for many of we humans, I do not want to be placed in such a situation. As a professed pacifist I was confronted with the fact that the question was not whether the characters in the movie would avoid killing. Some persons were going to be killed no matter what decision was reached.
Following the movie my friends and I went out to dinner and discussed the movie. This morphed into a discussion of whether evils existed, whether punishment was ever moral or appropriate, whether it makes sense to talk about absolute free will, and other topics.
We also challenged each other on other issues. My friend Cheryl has been challenging me to think outside of my comfort zone for many years. Nearly all of my friends do that just as I do that with them. Nearly all of my blogs challenge myself and the reader to think and rethink about a wide variety of issues. All of us want to do our part to create a more just, loving world. All of us know that we do not have the answers although if the reader wants to “listen in” on one of our often passionate discussions one might falsely think that we do think we have answers.
It seems to me that one of the markers for empathy is being able to put oneself in not only the shoes of another but the thought process and emotional state of the other. I have often been in situations where one is required to passionately argue the position of one’s so0called opponent. I am not sure that most schools require students to engage in such debates. I am not even sure if schools still have organized debate teams. I certainly hope so. The medium for debates might be art, music, speaking, writing or movement. I am not sure it matters. What matters is that we know we don’t know while passionately testing out our thoughts and theories with others.
Friends and all those who can find even a tiny bit of desire for mutual respect might benefit from more tickling of the minds and hearts of each other.
Written May 7, 2016
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