Relationships trump tasks
I just came from the dentist and the dental hygienist where I have been going for at least the past 25 years. Prior to seeing these dental professionals, I was seeing a dentist in Pittsburgh who was very similar in her approach to creating a space in which people came to get expert dental work. Actually, people came to visit and incidentally got dental care.
The hygienist was talking about getting close to what some consider retirement age. She has already reduced her work schedule to allow more time for family. Fortunately, financially she and her husband are able to afford this luxury. She is telling people that she has no intention of fully retiring unless she is physically or mentally unable to do the work. As is true for many of the people I know and respect, her approach to her work is same as her approach to her life dance outside of work. As was true of the dentist in Pittsburgh she and the dentist with whom she works comes to that space to visit with people and to incidentally take care of dental needs of “patients”.
There are many advantages for both the staff and the patients in making relationships primary and dental tasks secondary. These include:
No matter how loving the environment and the treatment, some people have emotional and mental health issues which prevent them from fitting into this way of functioning. They may believe that the dental staff are there to just perform a mechanical task and are not able to allow themselves to be emotionally nurtured or be emotionally nurturing. Some people are self-consumed with their own pain or have such a weak ego base that they are unable to connect emotionally or spiritually with others. Some have a serious illness which precludes the luxury of being “present”.
There may be times when it is appropriate to change parts of one’s life dance, but this does not mean that one is ready to retire from life. Some tasks require physical and/or mental ability/stamina which one no longer possesses. One may then need to reexamine one’s gifts and how one wants to use those gifts in the next phase of their lives.
I suspect that as we continue to find ways to take better care of ourselves and live longer we will increasingly need to re-examine the distinction we make between work and time away from the place where we earn money. If I take my life dance to all aspects of life then the distinction may seem more and more artificial. The skills I bring to any task are important whether it is cooking, child care, building a structure, manufacturing bottles or some other product, farming, hair styling, social worker, physician or sanitation worker. I want the surgeon to be highly skilled but research shows that the outcome of surgery is significantly affected by how well the team in the operating rooms takes care of themselves and each other; the more positive the relationships between and among team members the greater the chance the surgery and recovery is successful.
Research also shows that those who listen well provide more helpful service whether this be a plumber, roofer, physician, counselor, mechanic or some other worker.
The quality of relationships in all areas of our life dance always trumps the task in and of itself.
Written June 21, 2018
Jimmy F. Pickett
I just came from the dentist and the dental hygienist where I have been going for at least the past 25 years. Prior to seeing these dental professionals, I was seeing a dentist in Pittsburgh who was very similar in her approach to creating a space in which people came to get expert dental work. Actually, people came to visit and incidentally got dental care.
The hygienist was talking about getting close to what some consider retirement age. She has already reduced her work schedule to allow more time for family. Fortunately, financially she and her husband are able to afford this luxury. She is telling people that she has no intention of fully retiring unless she is physically or mentally unable to do the work. As is true for many of the people I know and respect, her approach to her work is same as her approach to her life dance outside of work. As was true of the dentist in Pittsburgh she and the dentist with whom she works comes to that space to visit with people and to incidentally take care of dental needs of “patients”.
There are many advantages for both the staff and the patients in making relationships primary and dental tasks secondary. These include:
- The staff are less stressed and, thus, healthier.
- The staff are happier.
- There are no internal ethical/moral conflicts. They are not expected to have one set of ethics/moral principles for work and another for life outside of work.
- Because the staff are happier and positive the patient are happier and healthier.
- Because they approach each patient as a person about whom they care as a person they are able to access health care factors which affect dental care and offer options that emotionally, financially and physically are best for that patient.
- They leave the “work space” with positive energy even if they are tired. This positive energy has a positive effect on their family and friends who are more positive and able to nurture them.
- The business does okay financially because one has repeat customers and referrals from satisfied customers. One may actually make a little less money than some but spend less on health care and toys to relieve stress.
No matter how loving the environment and the treatment, some people have emotional and mental health issues which prevent them from fitting into this way of functioning. They may believe that the dental staff are there to just perform a mechanical task and are not able to allow themselves to be emotionally nurtured or be emotionally nurturing. Some people are self-consumed with their own pain or have such a weak ego base that they are unable to connect emotionally or spiritually with others. Some have a serious illness which precludes the luxury of being “present”.
There may be times when it is appropriate to change parts of one’s life dance, but this does not mean that one is ready to retire from life. Some tasks require physical and/or mental ability/stamina which one no longer possesses. One may then need to reexamine one’s gifts and how one wants to use those gifts in the next phase of their lives.
I suspect that as we continue to find ways to take better care of ourselves and live longer we will increasingly need to re-examine the distinction we make between work and time away from the place where we earn money. If I take my life dance to all aspects of life then the distinction may seem more and more artificial. The skills I bring to any task are important whether it is cooking, child care, building a structure, manufacturing bottles or some other product, farming, hair styling, social worker, physician or sanitation worker. I want the surgeon to be highly skilled but research shows that the outcome of surgery is significantly affected by how well the team in the operating rooms takes care of themselves and each other; the more positive the relationships between and among team members the greater the chance the surgery and recovery is successful.
Research also shows that those who listen well provide more helpful service whether this be a plumber, roofer, physician, counselor, mechanic or some other worker.
The quality of relationships in all areas of our life dance always trumps the task in and of itself.
Written June 21, 2018
Jimmy F. Pickett
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